Nostalgia!

This is what I've learnt from the 4 subjects Ive taken in my first sem in Monash:

Accounts: Just earning money is not enough. You need to know how to manage them as well.
Econs: A market just isnt the same anymore. you know, the one selling vegetables, poultry etc...
Management: A manager can be anyone in charge of a group of people. But lecturers in Monash can never be one cos they suck at everything.
Biz Stats: Timelines exist in personal life. The trend and cycle that had been occuring since my high school days. In high school, whenever the birthdays of my close social circle approached, some retarded big fight will occur. In Mufy/Monash, whenever hols approached, there'll be some kinda big/small argument/fight with my close fren. LOL. wtf. why m i so spastic?

Exams are finally over but Im not awashed with some giant euphoric feeling of joy. Maybe its the fact I know I didnt to my best for all papers, or the fact Im just tired. [Its NOT cos I cant study anymore. LOL].

Finally went to AC after forever with Gary, PW, Reb, Thanu, Vic & Gavin after Pyramid. How we managed to squeeze in PW's car was beyond me. Kinda gotten close wif these buncha ppl after few weeks of studying and chilling together. And Ann. Lala, Ashwin, Anna and tt whole bunch were also in AC. LOL. Old times, good times. Ann thrashed me in pool. obviously. cos shes been playin a lot and the last time i held a stick in my hand to hit balls [;)] was in July i tink.
Anywaes i find it weird tt ppl say the current frens i hang out wif are my "new" clique. they are jus another grp of frens. jus cos i hang out wif em more recently doesnt mean i forget my other frens.

After AC went back to Sun-U Condo cos Reb, PW n Gary needed a change of clothes. went to poolside to chill. Damn i miss swimming! Despite the unhappy moments thr, kinda miss condo too. Reminded me of my time in MUFY. pool looked damn tempting. but all in all the whole place felt rather alien. the guards were still a bitch tho. somethings never change.

Went for dinner at Tahir's place. He Pooja Ian apparently were cooking dinner and darn it was good. Hung there for a long while, then went to Macd since i owed ppl treats. Kena irritated by a bunch of Indian kids who were scaring the hell out of Reb and PW. bloody assholic kids. Hung out at my place, went to some really fantastic mamak, took a short rest back at Tahir's before finally leaving to KLIA ard 545am to send Pooja off. Met shane and elisha thr. Pretty emotional moment when they had to leave. And the stupid banner "We Make It Hard to Say Goodbye" didnt help one bit. Finally came home ard 10-11am.

More outings tmr, monday, tuesday. dunno wen to go back. Im not gonna lie when i say I will miss Sunway. ok not the place but the ppl. 3 months is long, and a lot can happen in 3 months. But i guess this is where everyone goes back to their pre-Sunway lives. whatever that means. Lets jus see wad happens in March 2010. Till then, goodnight Monash, goodbye Sunway and hopefully I'll set foot here in 3 months time. Dunno what the 3 months will hold for me. Doubt itll be good tho. As always.

realised this is the first time ive blogged 'traditionally' in a long long while. lol.

Hide and Seek

PLAGIARISM in ANY way shd be f*cking abolished! and i aint jus referring abt those in educational institutions.
Im insanely jealous. of them. sigh.
2 days to 3months of freedom.
I shd get shot. By myself. I am my own weakest link. Goodbye.


* I had a friend request from this South African girl I din know. I dun usually accept requests from unknowns, but I accepted her cos she was hot. After I did my friend count went down my one. MLIA.

* I was browsing thru my fren's page when I saw that he had 2 frens whose names were freakin similar to mine and a fren's. Ahmad Syalabi and Bek JunHao. WTF!

* Been studying like a man possessed for months now. Come exam time, I forgot EVERYTHING and was forced to crap. Furthermore, there's a high possibility I may even fail the darn paper. Studying so much and failing? I did say I may end up being the laughing stock of the entire Monash U. FML.

* Met Anu in Sunway Coll to study. Classroom was cool, and I tol her its fine. After a while it got warm and she said I cld adjust the aircon if i wanted. The aircon was never on in the first place. LOL.

* Was readin Econs tutorial questions. Ended up reading all the crap I had doodled on the paper instead. LOL.

* Took a pill to stay awake the whole night. Finally lived up to my "reputation" of being a junkie. LOL.

* Currently at a friend's place. He shall not be named to protect his identity.
Me: I wanna go back.
Him: Cannot.
Me: Why cannot go back?
Him: Cos u have an obligation.
Me: What obligation?
Him: An obligation...which you must oblige! =.=
.................................
Him: I can't start on a new topic in the evening or night. I need to eat first or sth.
Me: So when u plan to start? Tomorrow?
Him: Have to start asap lah, maybe tonight. =.=
.................................
Theres so much more I can write but Im not gonna reveal anymore lah. need to protect his privacy. BUT there was this "take it out" incident which was so hilarious but I cant talk about it cos its R21. HAHA. lame.

The trend of the exams so far has been:

Accounts: Shit cos all their questions were so rojak and encrypted with some sort of accounting spell that we cldn answer cos we din even know how to decipher them.
Econs: Honestly, the paper was easy. BUT. I blanked out and forgot everything. Damn!
Management: The paper was ok. What I thot would be tested came out. And I had focused on them. BUT. again. I spaced out. and couldnt recall what I studied. On top of that I din even finish the paper. bye bye 30 marks. bye bye pass? dun even mention HD.
Biz Stats: on friday. and i dunno why im blogging. instead of studying.

Ok this is random but u gotta listen to Owl City. He is the shit! His songs are catchy yet calming without being so mainstream. Kinda like Secondhand Serenade but not so "gay" lah.
I feel damn dirty. Wearing the same clothes over and over again.
Can't wait for Friday. Gonna freak out! Yes, I said freak out. no more STUDYING. no more EMO. no more crap. [ok i feel stupid talking to myself].

I shd go do sth more productive. Like studying.

FUCK YOU MONASH FUCK YOU!!!

ANGER. FRUSTRATION. DISAPPOINTMENT. BUT MAINLY REGRET.
seething with rage. all the energy, the time, the effort. the sleep sacrificed. all my drive to study has been destroyed. i dont see the point of trying so hard anymore. all the input, and no output. i may be overreacting. but still. all those weeks feverishly revising, practicing, consulting tutors. for what fuck?! im seriously at a point of breaking down. you may go WTF? or tell me to quit complaining, but yeah maybe u dunno how it feels. maybe you do. why the fuck do u test us on things we were not taught? ppl may just brush it off and "move on". well i cant. yeah its jus one paper but all that effort for nothing. so bad i actually left questions blank. this fuckin sux to the max. maybe i shdve jus enjoyed myself and not studied in the first place. guess i was right after all. i m the biggest joke. fuck u monash. fuck u. fuck myself.

I can only fear the worst for Econs, Management and Biz Stats now.

Trouble is a Friend of Mine

Try this. It's supposed to work....

1) Think of your favourite number

2) Think of someone of the same sex

3) Think of someone of the opposite sex

4) Pick one out of dog, cat, tiger, snake

5) Pick one out of blue, red, white, green

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1) The number you chose is supposedly the number of real close friends you'll have in life.

2) This is your closest/best friend.

3) This is the person you have a crush on/like/are currently with. [2 and 3 may intertwine]

4) This is a general analysis of how you view relationships.

Dog = You are extremely loyal when it comes to relationships and friendships. You place high importance on your relationships with your loved ones. You put them ahead of a lot of things and go all out not to jeapordise them. You love them alot and will do anything for them.

Cat = You are selective when it comes to picking your friends. You have different 'levels' of proximity with them; you don't trust all of them and are not close with all of them. They form your social circle for the sake of, and they rarely get close to you. Only because you rarely let them.

Tiger = You are very protective of your friends. You will defend them at all means but you are not necessarily close with them. You just need them when the time arises, and thats when you look for them. You prefer to be alone most of the time.

Snake = You place little value on friendships and relationships. You are generally manipulative, and you use your friends for your own advantage without taking their feelings or the consequences of your actions into consideration. You are not afraid to trample on anyone for the sake of reaching whatever intentions you have.

5) This is a general analysis of your character

Blue = You are relatively cool, not in physique but in mannerisms. You are not generally open, and tend to be introverted alot. However, with the correct people, you can turn around and let them in. You hate conflicts, and when one arises, you will do whatever it takes to resolve it as you do not want it to drag further. You may have little consideration of others' emotions, as you may let out little outbursts every now and then.

Red = You are very tempremental. Little things irk you easily and you lose your cool at the smallest of incidents. You get mad when things dont go your way and you tend to blast off at people, even when they are not involved. However, you are also passionate and emotional when it comes to relationships. You care for people that matter alot. You are strong willed and focused at achieving whatever goal you want to pursue.

White = You are the proverbial "good guy"; you dislike conflicts, you try your very best to please everyone, you tend to keep to yourself and shun from the "spotlight". You rarely lose your cool, and you have a very matured perception on life. You may not care for everyone around you, but you do not hate them as well; you are neutral.

Green = You are a nature lover; you like the environment and animals. You are sensitive to the needs of others and you are calm and collected, more often than not. You are also laidback, sometimes lacking focus and direction in life. You need others to push you before you start doing something. You are generally in tune with your social life and family. You do not get affected by problems easily.

*these are just the main analysis of behaviour. of course it does not define accurately one single individual, who is most probably a mixture of behaviours. This just portrays the dominant characteristics.

ŔάŋФM

= Finally went out with Oscar. Didn't know he was with his gf. Die. Gonna feel like a lamppost. He speaks mandarin with his gf. I've always hated that feeling. Die. Surprisingly I felt the most unlamppost-y during the outing and it was fun. Potential double lamppost situation avoided.


= After meeting Oscar, I decided to walk back home. It drizzled, then rained heavily. By the time I got back I was soaked. And the rain stopped.


= I tried putting my phone in my pocket. Then I realised I was wearing my boxers.


= I woke up at 7am, rushed to uni at 9am for an 830am lecture, supposed to end at 10am, but ended at 915am. I took longer getting ready than the lecture itself.


= I used liquid paper to correct a word I wrote wrongly. After it dried I wrote the same wrong word.



= A friend postponed her flight back to her hometown, supposedly because of me. I finally felt important in someone's life.


= The last day of sem was all I could ask for. Finally doing well for management, getting good grades for econs and having a blast after uni.


*********************************************
Shaheen wants to know:



#Why ppl in sunway drive like crazy bitches, speeding like shit even in the tightest of spaces.



# Why the inventor of the MGW1010 exam is so spastic. If they know from experience that students can hardly finish the paper, why allocate so little time? Isn't the purpose of this exam to test our knowledge and understanding of the subject and not our speed-writing skills?



# Why some people are complete assholes. Or pussies.



# Why he just can never be neutral at some point, and towards certain issues.

# Why he always has dreams of his friends dying.



# Why the hell he is speaking as a 3rd person about himself.


*********************************************
I am on the verge of being the biggest laughing stock in the entire Monash University. Why? Cos I've been studying so friggin much, so much that Im so nerd that even a nerd would laugh at me (sorry to all "nerds"), that everyone is expecting me to ace the exams, and Ive a lil feeling that Im gonna implode during the exams and flunk. And everyones gonna luff at me for studying so hard for nothing. damn.
Tutorials finally ended. One full week to revise and competely finish everything. and i hope I can. tahan another 21 more days, and I have 3 months plus to freak out. but cant tink of that as of now. Sien.


GOALS: To complete revision for Management and Business & Economic Stats and re-revision for Accounts and Econs.

Planning: Specific Plans with strict adherence to created timelines and division of work.


ORGANISING: Divisional Structure of time and effort. Both must be coordinated to accomplish the specific tasks of assigned chapters of managements.

MOTIVATING:

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

Physiological Needs: nice food and enough sleep

Safety Needs: Security and Protection from emotional scarring of studying too much

Social Needs: Occasional outings to relax mind

Esteem needs: Be glad in the knowledge hard work wont be futile

Self-actualisation Needs: Achieving my potential and realising all this will aid in exams

CONTROLLING: Bureaucratic control with rigid rules implemented for me to follow to not divert from the tasks that is to study and complete assigned chapters.

OMFG see how much management has already screwed me up. Last time was econs tt i kept applying to daily life and now its management. Im in need of serious help. My brain is going dead, my eyes are failing to function properly and my other senses seek to refuse cooperation. Haih. Ive blown so many ppl off cos Ive been studying like crazy and hence Ive pissed them off. Jus try to understand aite. I got exams coming up, you ppl may/may not have exams I dunno. Wadever u wanna do with yr time is up to u but i need to study, so don get pissed off/upset I cant go out. I WANT to, but i CANNOT. Understand those two terms before u launch into some verbal/emotional tirade of anger or sorrow. Other than studies I have my own shits to deal with so lay off. Uve probably seen me being tad diff these past few days and tts purely cos of exam stress so jus tahan a bit more. If u cant then i got nothin more to say. ("you" refer generally not specific).

Seems that of late I've "shifted" out of my own room and conquered the hall. Made it my own and turned it into one giant mess of all my studying shit.



Anu's econs mcq test sheet. cldn stop laughing at this. But feel damn proud of her for her Econs Ass 2. She beat all us supposed "smarties" in econs. Not to say shes not smart. She jus isnt 'experienced' as us, i supose. Congrats Minachi. :) So very globoldolic of you. Today's been a good day on the whole. Need to prepare for the very hellacious week ahead, by which all revision shdve been completed.
Din realise this so called random post wd be so long. But it was random! LOL.

Insecurities

Insecurities exist EVERYTIME and EVERYWHERE. theres just no escaping it. even the most superconfident of ppl will have some sort of insecurity within them. they just mask it and don show it. wen yr in primary school [7-12], ull wanna make frens, and face the fear of not havin frens or fitting in. In high school its worse. Teen years are perhaps the most complicated phase of one's life. Its like everything's working in tandem to make yr life one giant mess within those 4-5 yrs - wanting to fit in with a clique, insecurity of not being wanted or appreciated, facing acne and feeling insecure abt how u look or wad ppl will think of u, relationship issues, and of cos the fear of that end of year major exams. Ppl say that as u grow older and mature, u tend to lose insecurities. True, yet not exactly. You lose THESE insecurities, as in the ones in yr teenage life, but not insecurities in general. You just face new ones. Graduates are insecure abt job prospects, men are insecure abt retrenchment, wives fear extra marital affairs from their husbands and the elderly face the insecurity of death knockin on their doors. Hence, everyone is insecure in one way or other. Its part of life. Its normal. Just dont let it overwhelm u. I have my insecurities too, and yes sometimes I let em bother me till I go crazy. But now, I'm jus gonna ignore em and focus on studies. Speakin of....

Exams are in 18 days. Yes, 18. Theres so much to do Im afraid I cant cover everything in time. Furthermore weve not had the opportunity to practice writing and testing our time management, unlike MUFY. Ppl keep saying ive studied so much i dun need to worry and stuff. What they fail to realise is that i still have to 're-revise' wad ive learnt cos i cant fully rmb every single damn thing from now till the exam period. I have to refresh my memory. So its not like revise then chuck one side till finals. Dunno why we're still having hw, specially management. Sian.

Think I've seriously been studying too much. I can feel my body jus breaking down. Too much lack of sleep. Went Pyramid and WATCHED A MOVIE after dunno how bloody long. Im sucha nerd I dun even know thr were changes to Pyramid. Lol. Felt so good to finally get my mind off studies. Seriously need a friggin rest. Hence for once Im not gonna study on a Friday night. jus gonna rest my body and mind and resume tmr. I foresee if i continue this intense studying lifestyle im gonna break down eventually, like yesterday. Slept at 5 studying accts and woke up at 830. can die like nobodys biz. Shd start takin care of my body. Hence Im gonna sleep early today, and sleep long. So that I can wake up early tmr to study. lol. I seriously have no life.

Watch this vid. It's damn touching. Its about a love between a lion and 2 men.

[Current mood: really really tired]
[Current songs:
Broken hearted girl - beyonce
3 - britney spears
Meet me halfway - black eyed peas
Rule of the world - evermore
Sexy Bitch - david guetta feat akon]

My Life is Globoldolic

dun even ask wad globoldolic is. because 1) its an inside thing. 2) i myself dun even know the meaning.

had a very very weird dream last few days. involved one very very very close fren of mine. every aspect of the dream was super weird. and he nearly died. why do i alwaes dream abt my frens dying? seriously... aint a gd thing.

= Was at office. Saw a fren. he saw me. he turned away jus as i waved at him. i pretended to stretch my fingers so i din look stupid.

= phil pointed out a potential mistake in our management assignment. i cleared it up with another fren and realised i was right. i double checked with the tutor and realised i was wrong. i had to change my assignment, which was due the next day. i had "finished" it a week ago.

=a fren chatted with me on msn. it was our first time. he asked how i was. i said fine. i asked him the same thing. he said ok. our convo ended.

= i was uploading photos on my blog. the picture was taking abnormally long. then i realised i hadnt pressed the 'upload' button.

= the bus i was in got involved in an accident. i smsed my mom. she called me askin if i was ok. i said kinda. she then asked me wad food i wanted for dinner.

= my younger bro had a personal prob. i spoke to him about it, and later saw him change his msn pm to "...thank god for brothers really". i felt like an older brother for once.

= the net in both homes (sunway and jb) was alwaes screwed up whenever i used it. then i realised it wasnt the wi-fi, but my laptop.

= ive been on a study 'roll' for the past month or so. exams are just ard the corner. ive lost all my momentum and passion to study.

= i realisd that wenever im not in sunway, theres alwaes some sort of party happening. i then tol anu im over that kind of life. she pointed out i never had that kind of life in the first place.

Shaheen has to learn:
- not to be so emo
- not to shriek/speak in a high pitched voice within hearing distance of others
- not to wear berms and sandals in freezing buses
- not to put his ipod on his lap in a speeding bus
- not to study when his laptop is around him
- to accept the consequences of his actions, whether his actions are nice or not.
- to be more assertive
- to try and refocus on studies and not about the social scene

[current mood: hollow, empty]
[current songs:
All the right moves - onerepublic
Sexy bitch - david guetta feat akon
How to save a life - the fray
Te amo - rihanna
Listen to your heart - DHT
I believe in you - il divo & celine dion
Meet me halfway - black eyed peas]