You can't really go wrong with a baby picture can you?

What is it?

2011-12-14T12:38:00.003+08:00

Justin Timberlake & David Archuleta have long ones.

Taio Cruz & Bruno Mars surprisingly have short ones.

Ke$ha, JoJo, Adele, Rihanna & Madonna don't have it.

Tiger Woods uses his alot.

Lady GaGa apparently seems to have one.

Typical Asians have short ones.

So, what is it?

If you thought penis, you're a pervert.

It's SURNAME.

Time Value of Life

2011-10-24T15:42:00.004+08:00

Imagine you are bestowed an investment. This investment comprises of a deposit that produces $86,400 daily. Each day, you are given $86,400 to spend. You have complete freedom to allocate this money, to spend it on whatever you want. The only stipulation to this investment is that at the end of each day, whatever amount of the $86,400 that is not spent would be disposed of - it cannot be saved back into the deposit. So if you do not spend any dollar by the end of the day, it goes to waste. Sounds like a magical investment eh? Well, in fact we all have been generously bestowed with this so-called magical investment - time.

Each day, we are given 86,400 seconds to spend. Each second passed cannot be taken back; it is a "sunk cost". What we do with this time is completely up to us - no one has the authority to impose any restrictions, limitations or regulations...irrationally. Spend the time given each day wisely- set your priorities right. Focus on the larger things in life - family, friends, loved ones, for they add colour and value to this ever-depreciating world. People often chase and worry about things that they think are material, but in fact are vastly insignificant. More time spent on the trivial robs you of quality time that could have been spent elsewhere, time that would have more value. Remember, the time passed (like writing this post) cannot be saved or used again. So spend the 86,400 seconds wisely.

The music industry must be either crashing or artistes are having fun with song titles.

Drake: Find Your Love ---> Rihanna: We Found Love.

Lil Wayne: How To Love ---> Selena Gomez: Love You Like A Love Song.

Gym Class Heroes: Stereo Hearts ---> Edward Maya: Stereo Love

Selena Gomez: A Year Without Rain ---> (One Year Later) Bruno Mars: It Will Rain ---> Pitbull: Rain Over Me

Taylor Swift: The Story Of Us ---> Lady Gaga: You & I ---> Rihanna: California King Bed ---> Maroon 5: Never Gonna Leave This Bed ---> Ke$ha: Blow ---> Enrique Iglesias: Tonight I'm F*ckin You ---> The Wanted: Glad You Came ---> Nicole Scherzinger ---> Wet ---> Justin Bieber: Baby ---> Lady Gaga: Bad Romance

Current Songs:

Adele - Someone Like You

Lady Gaga - You & I

Dev - In The Dark

Rihanna - We Found Love

Britney Spears - Criminal

Nicki Minaj - Fly

Leona Lewis - Collide

Kelly Clarkson - Mr Know It All

MizzNina - Take Over

Cobra Starship - You Make Me Feel

Martin Solveig - Hello

Greyson Chance - Waiting Outside The Lines

Taylor Swift - The Story Of Us

If I Die Young

2011-09-29T11:57:00.004+08:00

A weekly norm turned on its head in the most horrifying, yet predictable way. Always heard about it, never thought I'd actually encounter it. But that's life, and shit happens all the damn time. The thought of death is horrifying, the actual feeling of near death is much worse. They say before u die, u see yr life flash past yr eyes. Not so. Your vision gets blurred, yr head starts to spin and yr coordination weakens. You do see assholic cabs flashing past yr eyes though. Blood, pain, darkness. Engulfing you like a tsunami that swallowed Indonesia back in 2005. On the verge of death, all thoughts just fly out of whats left of yr mental capabilities. And then comes a black myvi carrying 3 good samaritans to snatch me from the jaws of death and give me a new lease of life...of which ive to now face the potential consequences.

The thoughts keep plaguing your mind like a vermin. The scene repeats itself like a spoilt dvd in yr head, and the 4 fuckers keep appearing and reappearing again and again. Any minute not spent consciously thinking of other things or doing sth results in the same gut-wrenching process - the thinking, the visions. The bottle, the blood, the cries for help, the asshole taxi drivers... The throbbing and perpetual thoughts disallows any kind of slp. Body drenched in sweat. You open yr eyes, and u see the darkness, the floor, the ceiling. But yr mind's eye still sees the events that transpired the previous day. It allegedly takes 10 days to heal. Physically yes. Mentally, definitely not. It's gonna take alot of mental strength to overcome this, Ive heard. But all that strength has already been used dealing with past shit, so I doubt there is any left in the tank. But its very comforting and touching to know that there are friends and family u can depend on, whether u need or ask for their help, they are there to offer it to u. They provide the positives in a world so full of evil. The samaritans vs the satans.

And the image that will forever remind me of that fateful day....

Expelli-flour-mus!

2011-08-06T01:37:00.019+08:00

Happy Birthday to me. After a bout of mild "emoing" and severe lethargy, the day turned on its head with some explosive action. Rockin' like J Lo's On The Floor. Or maybe shd be renamed On The Flour.

Completely blindsided. Thx to the extremely pink word icing on d cake, I got stripped off the cooler sounding title of abominable snowman and became abominable snow white instead =.= . This is the awesomest bunch of ppl in Sunway. Plus few others too of course.

My bro asked why I had "sticky white stuff in my undies" (Due to Gary's flour-stuffing antics). And I very absent-mindedly replied " Blame Gary. He did it." Hopefully my bro's mind won't start to wonder too much. Or else, with that thought in his head, what else would he think by seeing that "sticky white stuff" on my cap, shirt and pants??? LOL.

One show that I've mentioned couple times and is definitely worth the mention is ONE TREE HILL. It's entertaining, realistic and surprisingly educational. It's worth another mention, but this time for more superficial reasons. The eye candy. Seriously

Sophia Bush

Danneel Harris

Shantel VanSanten

Hilarie Burton

Bethany Joy Galeotti

Jana Kramer

Kate Voegele

The last 2 have very ample assets. Lol.

Having severe HP withdrawal syndrome. Found these extremely hilarious...

I have no idea why phones and earphones have a hate-relationship with me. They get spoilt in my care every freakin time in every way possible =.=

Uni lecturers are beginning to get on my nerves. Uni is beginning to get on my nerves. Can't they just do what they were paid to do and TEACH? preach abt effectiveness and efficiency when evidently he doesnt practice what he preaches - spending half hr crapping in his own world. And turning sth so simple into sth so complicated.

Its only week 2 and I'm already behind. I have absolutely no mood to study and no motivation. Maybe the term Final Year manifested itself too seriously lol.

Holidays

2011-07-18T20:22:00.003+08:00

* Why the hell is JB so freaking hot. Endless perspiration from the endless heat and humidity. It's as if JB is the new Sahara and sweat just cannot stop trickling from every pore imaginable.

* Listening to somebody describe a wet dream is awkward as it is. Hearing it from your brother makes it worse.

* One annoyingly injured wrist and I'm back to pre-NS mode. A 70kg pumpkin. I'm officially fat. Again. So fat that even my fat dad called me fat.

* Didn't realise how easy it is blowing money during a shopping spree. Especially when it's for your sis. And most of it was spent on Justin Bieber related crap.

* Accompanied my sis shopping for clothes. Then the salesman flirted. With me. =.=

* Having good grades can be a burden. When it is no longer viewed as an achievement but an expectation.

* Transformers: Dark of the Moon was boring. Harry Potter & Deathly Hallows Part 2 was brilliant.

* Was smoking with my bro outside JB checkpoint. Got stopped by police cos they thought I was underaged. =.=

* Babies are awesome.

* Realised why I cherish and treasure relationships and friendships so much. Cos both my dad and high-school-me didn't.

* Had a very very very very rare personal convo with dad abt family, finances, history and friendships. It was cool.

* Final year starts in a week. Time to rev up the party engine. Time to make the final push and ensure everyone graduates together and leave no man/woman behind. To leave no wrongs unrighted. Clean slates as we make our first forays into the corporate environment.

* Kate Voegele has really awesome boobs.

* Glee is extremely lame, cheesy and corny, yet addictive. Pretty mundane storylines, overloaded with songs, hot cheerleaders and for some weird reason there seems to be an abundance of gay/lesbian relations. And Chord Overstreet is way better than Bieber. Heh.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M (for 4 weeks)

2011-06-22T19:32:00.002+08:00

Quite miraculous. Discussing potential exam qns for IBF and Macro and almost all came out exactly. Lol. Hopefully next sem there are units like IBF. Super fun to study. heh. This has to be the weirdest sem. All units (sans macro) seemed so difficult to comprehend as the sem progressed. Yet (at the risk of sounding tad complacent and conceited) all the exam papers were kinda easy. KINDA. did not require tremendous brain-wrecking rumination. Cept maybe a lil of AIS. Now just gotta patiently wait for 11 July to see if I maintained the educational holy grail. Or if ppl's expectations got the better of me and i bombed. lol.

4 weeks of break. Get to relax. Enjoy. Usher in final year. But the BEST part of this hols is definitely...the return of those 2 ladies from down under. The wait is over. =)

The Lazy Mood

2011-06-17T23:00:00.002+08:00

Still 2 more papers to go. Yet its as if exams have ended and hols are here. And I pin the blame solely on this ridiculous lapse in between papers. Yes its great that we have time to revise and all, but I think it's abit too much. Party mood has swept in, study mood has gone out and days of intense revision has been drastically replaced with days of slacking.

Final Year. Time to make it COUNT. Time to make it SIGNIFICANT. And time to finally put MYSELF first, and fuck those ppl who had been receiving, but NOT deserving, such gracious assistance from yours truly. Always easier said than done, but the words 'final year' oozes an aura that just demands that little extra effort to make it work. After so long, I have finally seen the truth. It's ugly, and it's time to accede to the requests and advice of others, and get away from the ugly truth. We gonna rock this final year. But first, IBF and Macro. =.=

Edge of Glory

2011-06-08T15:14:00.003+08:00

I'm on the Edge of Glory (i hope)...hanging on a moment of truth. 2 papers down, 2 more to go. Finally some breathing space after a hectic 2 weeks. AIS was a minibitch but shd be ok. Investment was not a bitch, and will be ok too. Not as hard as i envisaged it to be. Not too hard to fathom. Maybe, just maybe I overstudied. Lol. No harm done. So toughest papers shoved out the way. 11 days to tackle IBF & Macro and make em me bitches. Just needa get out of this lil "exam-is-over-time-to-chill" mood and get out the IBF book. Meh.

Didn't know Gaga cld be so influential in my penmanship lol.

Judas

2011-04-30T22:19:00.003+08:00

Wondered why Britney Spears' "Till The World Ends" sounds similar to Ke$ha's "Blow". Then found out cos Ke$ha also wrote it. The music scene is in a sad state today. Alot of crap music. Lady Gaga accentuates it with "Judas". With lyrics like "I'll bring him down... a king with no crown", "in the most biblical sense I am beyond repentance, fame hooker prostitute wench, vomits her mind...", "Jesus is my virtue and Judas is the demon I cling to..", how can she not expect to receive the ire of the church lol.

Maybe I'll be a "Judas" one day. And that day is coming. SOON. It's now or never. And after much deliberation and rumination, think the time is now. There are some situations whereby your "want" suppresses your "need". Usually needs override wants. Like you "want" to do this but you cant cos you "need to" whatever instead. But I guess in this case I gotta overturn the norms and fulfill the wants instead. Cos if i cave in to my "needs" then I foresee more trouble ahead. For me. It's gonna be hard, but I gotta do what I gotta - and should- do. Time to do the unthinkable. I've had enough.

Bieber Fever

2011-04-25T22:51:00.003+08:00

Bieber fever has swept into KL...out of KL... and into my home =.=

Its bad enough that sister has a major Bieber obsession - Bieber wallpaper, Bieber photos, Bieber book, Bieber painted on toenails, Bieber on phone cover. Kept saying "JB is so hot, handsome, cute blah blah blah". And I was tinking why the hell is she so into my friend??? Until I realised she was talking abt Justin Bieber.

.... now parents keep talkin abt Bieber. Even my muscially-challenged dad knows so much abt Bieber...so much that it induced a Bieber-conversation in the car en-route to dinner. =.=

And again keep linking me with Bieber. the hair. the cap. At least dad said I got da look first. haha.

After watching Never Say Never, have to admit that Bieber aint that bad. Have some newfound respect for him now. And that kid is bloody talented. But no, doesnt mean Im a Bieleber now. Just Shahlabi(eber). Haha. Retard.

Application of Economics in Life

2011-04-17T15:06:00.003+08:00

This is an excerpt...

All the tests and exams and assgmts must have loosened our screws. Had lunch with the monkey in Pyramid Macd...

Monkey: How u did yr tutes man? And study for the tests and assignments...

Me: I did it in advance cuz I saw the busy weeks. Having no friends in uni means I have no social life. No social life increases the quantity of available time. So qty demand of time decreases, qty supply of time increases. Increase in supply of time leads to more work done, which increases work productivity. Also, cash outflow on social activities decreases.

Monkey: Yeah, but no social life also decreases quality of life coz ull get bored and lonely. So work productivity decreases. And a social life gives you economies of scale coz u get to copy during tests and discuss for assignments. And there'll be diminishing marginal returns of productivity coz for every extra hour of time you get, the benefit obtained from studying diminishes due to information overload.

I think we are both screwed lol.

Jar of Farts

2011-04-14T22:44:00.002+08:00

3 tests in 3 consecutive days. A 30% assignment due a week after. Seriously who on God's fading green earth coordinates these assessments? It's as if they intentionally want students to fail to obtain more money from them. It's a miracle discussion transpired during 2 tests and went unnoticed. And its ridiculous that we have to read 5 chapters worth of material for 5marks. Brain filled to capacity. Complete absurdity. Just needa pull thru this 2 weeks, and then its time for a very well deserved break. Before the advent of exam stress. This time without the 2 beauties who are enjoying their assess off down under. Lol.

Current songs:

On The Floor (J Lo Feat Pitbull)

Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor) (Pitbull Feat T-Pain)

Blow (Ke$ha)

Till The World Ends (Britney Spears)

Love Like Woe (The Ready Set)

Coming Home (Diddy-Dirty Money Feat Skylar Grey)

Jar of Hearts (Christina Perri)

Born This Way (Lady Gaga)

Born To Be Somebody (Justin Bieber)

More (Usher)

The Lazy Song (Bruno Mars)

Mid Sem

2011-04-12T01:01:00.002+08:00

Being netless is starting to be an irritating routine. At least its been solved.

Guess the weeks of nerding ie doing tutes weeks in advance kinda helped seeing we got 3 tests and an assgmt cramped in 2 weeks. Who da hell coordinates all these? They need a brain check.

Kinda miss flirting with girls.

Miss my hometown kakis.

Miss the person I used to be.

Why do ppl never appreciate what they have, and continuously yearn for other things? You take what you have for granted, and once it leaves yr hands, you cry for it back. You don't know what you got till its gone. We should learn to be content with the things ard us. More importantly, the PEOPLE we share our lives with - friends, families etc. Cuz u nvr know when they may suddenly leave you in the dark of the night. And i don't mean death.

New Year, New Sem, Same Ol F*ckin Probs

2011-03-29T09:47:00.003+08:00

Finally equipped with internet capabilities after weeks of rushing like desperate maniacs for wifi.

Got to realise how impt the net is. And no, not referring to facebook =.=

Wonder what the hell is Monash's criteria for hiring lecturers/tutors. Excellent command of Manglish? No requirement for basic English? Not sure if it was my boredom or serious annoyance of his basic English deficiencies but I actually noted several words he mispronounced:

-howholes (households)

-equibruim (equilibrium)

-suppy (supply)

-diffen (different)

-redue (reduce)

-levelue (revenue)

-garmen (government)

-crear (clear)

-insuran (insurance)

-popurar (popular)

-fick (fix)

-indilecly (indirectly)

- pear (pay)

-intest (interest)

- ulian (union)

ok im done. there are millions more but i guess the picture is clear. Torturous is an understatement. Oh well everyone is flawed.

I wonder if I give off this dumb retarded look. No not a look with my tongue sticking out and all but a look that gives ppl the impression Im dumb. I know almost everyone thinks im this bad boy who just clubs and parties and is some playboy and shit (well once they get to know me they realise just how opposite tt is lol - im lame, boring, unfun and old), but do I also look stupid? Management lecturer looked 0.0 when I told her i got HD, Biz Econs Stats kept talking to me like i was slow, and now Cost Info lec immediately called me a failure when she saw me. At least her 0.0 look when she realised I got HD was better. Shut her up. Lol. But still... =.=

Investing! Very fun initially. Making/Losing few hundreds was exciting, crazy searching for stocks, but now its become boring. Like losing 6000 a night doesnt arouse the "omg shit wtf!" feeling anymore. Guess got more impt things to worry abt...

Well well. Looks like Im just doomed to be entrapped in a conglomeration of problems and situations that just will never go away or will keep getting worse. And graciously new problems seem to appear. And sickeningly none of these probs are within my control. So what can I do? Nothing. But just watch and try not to experience more negativity than i already have. But of course thats always easier said than done.

Wellllllllllll

2011-02-25T00:15:00.001+08:00

That ain't Justin Bieber with makeup

It's Yours Truly

Now why the hell would I have a pic of JB on my blog anywaes?

Heh

Fuckin' Imperfect

2011-02-12T04:19:00.004+08:00

The world is full of fucking pricks. Heinous idiots who think nothing but the world of themselves. Hasn't anyone heard of that ubiquitous phrase "do unto others what you expect others to do unto you" or something pertaining along that line? Maybe only I have. It has become tired pathetic game whereby the gears rewind and the motion restarts again and again. I do not go around proclaiming myself as a self-righteous asshole cos at times I fall into the abovementioned category of pricks. But enough is enough. This is the umpteenth time I've told myself, and the millionth time I've done nothing about. The time is ripe to make a new life for myself, as time is scarce, but opportunities are aplenty. But is it worth it to go after what you want, not giving a damn about who you step on or betray in the process? Maybe. After all, these pricks probably will do the very same shit to you, whether you know it or not. They go after what they want, and you end up a byproduct of the mess they create en route to attaining their ultimate objective, whatever the fuck it may be. It has always been ingrained in my mentality that we shd treat others well (cue that stupid phrase). But I think it's time for change. Not wholesale. But change nontheless. Maybe its the shitty hols. The endless months of mental torture. Maybe it's the fact that I'm tired of the same crap regurgitating. Or maybe I'm just emo. Whatever it is, change is necessary. For better or worse. Never a self-proclamation of righteousness, but it is never fair that the perpetual dispensing of kindness replete with sincerity is constantly reimbursed with fucked up ingratitude dripping with unparalleled expectations laced with obligation. Fuck that. Why waste your precious time on people who don't deserve a second of it. No man is God. I may be part of God's grand scheme or some plan He has, but I AM NOT PART OF ANOTHER MAN'S PLAN TO BE MERCILESSLY USED. It's time to hit the "off" button on this stupid game. Or if it can't be switched off, then be the player, instead of the one being played.

One thing I realised when sending off my 2 close pals off today was that, in the face of adversity, when you can't get what you want, you shouldn't give up that easily and you should look for alternative solutions. And never limit your options. Have a blast down under pw and reb. We will be missing you in this dead place. Doesn't seem to flow with the earlier contents. Lol.

My Life is random & weird

2011-02-10T00:56:00.003+08:00

I accidentally saw someone's dick while peeing in a public toilet. I stared at it for a few seconds. It wasn't awkward though cos it was my own.

While watching One Tree Hill, I found a leaf and twig on my chair in my room. Hmm.

Was in the kitchen when my sis asked "Have u eaten?". I said no. She looked at me and said "I was talking to the hamster". -.-

Met my lesbian cousin at another cousin's wedding. Turns out she has more gfs than I ever had. Lol.

Isn't the phrase "discovered missing" a paradox? If something is discovered, it can't be missing, and if it's missing, it can't be discovered.

After showering, I found a pair of pliers next to my toothbrush. Wtf...

A mosquito bit my ankle, sucked my blood then subsequently dropped dead.

I've finally become a huge success after getting my first million. But all that changed after I closed the window on my laptop.

Saw an"I ♥ Justin Bieber" t-shirt while in Singapore. Worn by a guy.

In Guardian, I saw a bald man buying shampoo. Lolz.

My older bro's msn pm was "ashamed to be living in this era with singers such as Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga". Yet he has Baby, Teenage Dream and Alejandro in his car.

I was molested. In a freaking mosque.

Was browsing through some business books in Popular and came across 3 books on Justin Bieber. They were actually under the 'Fiction' shelf.

Today, I discovered I have a really weird spastic toilet connection with a friend. Whenever we sms/talk on the phone/msn/fb chat, one of us always is in/have to go to the toilet.

A friend told me in London, they remixed Maher Zain's 'Insha Allah' into a clubbing song. Wtf? Isn't that equivalent to blasting Avenged Sevenfold's 'God Hates Us' during Sunday service in church?

It is reported that excessive masturbation causes temporary but serious memory loss. Can't remember where I read it from though.

What the Heck.

2011-02-02T13:04:00.004+08:00

Speeding in heavy rain.

Blasting metal at midnight.

Weirdly provides some sort of high.

Yet in a rare juxtaposition, it's also weirdly therapeutic.

"All my life I've been good,

But now, I'm thinking what the hell!"

"Tell me what you want to hear,

Something that were like those years,

Sick of all the insincere,

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away."

Current Songs:

P!nk - F**kin' Perfect

Avril Lavigne - What The Hell

Bruno Mars - Marry You

Ke$ha - Blow

Rihanna - S & M

Eminem - No Love

Flo Rida - Who Dat Girl

A7x - I Won't See You Tonight

My Life is weirdly random...

2011-01-19T18:11:00.003+08:00

Been home alone the last couple days. Had to wake up early, feed the chickens, feed the turkey, the pigeons, the rabbit, the hamster and that funny yellow/blue colourful bird. Then had to wash the clothes, take in the clothes, fold em, cook the food, clean the cutlery, clean the rooms, wipe dusty areas, sweep and mop the floors and warm up the food when my bro came home from work. I felt like my mom. Had to water the plants, read financial statements, change lightbulbs and read newspapers. Felt like my dad. Had to study for my driving theory test. Felt like my older brother. Read financial books. Felt like my younger brother. Did some mundane and mindless onlining. Felt like my sister. Then got to relax, listen to music and talk abt company reporting with Michelle. Finally felt like myself.

Was eating a Ferrero Rocher with my right hand when an ad came on TV advising us to have a balanced diet. So I went downstairs and ate one more with my left hand. =.=

I realised I was eating chips when watching Salt, facebooking when watching The Social Network and was watching Twilight: Eclipse at night.

In Taylor Swift's new album, each of her song is abt one specific guy she's had experience with or dated. If I made an album like that I'd probably have less than 5 songs.

I had a DSLR camera! Then I woke up. I was pissed. Then I wasn't pissed anymore cos in the dream the camera was spoiled.

Discovered my feline room invader of few days ago has kittens in my kitchen ceiling.

Just realised why therapists understand rape victims so well. I mean, they are The Rapists .... lol.

Ke$ha could be disguised as my pet hamster. Not only is it an animal but it's also a cannibal.

Was in my friend's room when he asked if I wanted to lift iron. I said sure. He then gave me a freaking iron from the ironing board.

Saw this huge bald mechanic wearing a leather jacket with tats on both arms. Pretty tough looking guy... until his phone rang and Justin Bieber's "Baby" came on.

Just found out dad has fb under some secret identity. Crap.

My driving instructor was talking to us about driving ethics and road rules. He then got summoned for driving against the flow of traffic.

Wore my Monash Uni shirt while playing golf. People I met said I must be super smart cos I'm in one of the best Unis in the world. At least they got half of that right. LOL.

Managed to wake up at 930am without alarm. Felt like a normal human being for once.

My sister had been using my bro's laptop for hours. When I liked her fb status, the com crashed.

Was reading a book when I thought, no one judges a book by its cover. Don't they judge a book by its summary at the back?

PhasedBook

2011-01-16T23:52:00.003+08:00

So, rumours are rife around cybertown that the advent of the cessation of everyone's favourite website - Facebook, is near . The medium perfect for stalking. Virtual thuds must be reverberating somewhere in cyberspace as netizens are banging their heads against walls - if these rumours are to be true. Come March 2011, life, as we know it, could change. LOL. Well it wouldn't be THAT bad right?

Instead of staying cooped up at home all day n night stalking ppl, you'd be required to get off yr ass and make actual friends.

Instead of commenting on every photo/wall post/status, you would have actual conversations.

Instead of uploading every single pic, u can print em out/develop em. More memorable I think to have a 'hard' copy.

However, I do think there will be a massive downside to it too.

People who have severe withdrawal symptoms will be going to people's houses and writing on their walls.

Molestation cases will be on the rise cos they will be poking others.

They will be following random ppl and documenting their every move.

There will be an increase in the demand for fishes, farms and the like while gambling and mafias will be on the rise.

I'm sure the repercussions would be more profuse and intricate. How do we deal should this event actually transpire? Well, just remember the life u had prior to facebook I guess. if you can't remember that far back, then just find something new to consume your life. Like Twitter, MySpace or whatever. Heh.

Johor Baru From The Sky

2011-01-11T23:11:00.006+08:00

So many things to do.

So little time left.

I hate how the holidays have turned out.

But I'm glad I'm blessed to have found another "family".

Can't wait to leave JB for Sunway.

But at the same time I don't wanna.

Sux.

What's the freakin point in rehashing details of the past? I'm in uni now, not high school. Thr's no point bringing up shits from the past. Now I'm considered THE failure. Sheesh. Things change. People change. RESULTS change goddammit. Judge me for who i am NOW. not bloody 6 yrs ago.

Wonder what happens if facebook really shuts down on March 15th. Lol.

Current Mood: Shit.

Current Songs:

Kate Voegele - Angel

Taio Cruz - Higher

Enrique Iglesias - Tonight (I'm F*ckin' You)

Bruno Mars - Talking To The Moon

Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)

Maher Zain - The Chosen One

Train - If It's Love

The Saturdays - Higher

Shontelle - Perfect Nightmare

S.H.E. - 愛就對了

PS: "I decided to play with my cock today. After a while I got bored so I decided to put it back in its cage" from the previous post is a play on words. The 'cock' refers to my pet chicken and not sth else u dirty minded perverts. Lol.

My Life is randomly weird...

2011-01-06T21:53:00.005+08:00

On New Years, there were parties galore. No one came to mine. I didn't throw a party.

I stayed up all night wondering about insomnia.

I thought of having a fap. Then dad walked in. I forgot to lock the door. If I had started...

I was bored so I decided to do something bold while my whole family was home. I stripped naked...in the bathroom.

I decided to play with my cock today. After a while I got bored so I put it back in its cage.

I spent one whole night planning my units for the next 3 sems. Went to the darn uni website and reenrolment was closed.

Can't seem to connect to the net, sms or make/rcv calls from hp or housephone only in my room. Weird.

Some weird guy in front of me was shouting at this woman in mandarin and his dog kept barking non-stop. It was getting really loud and annoying so I turned the tv off.

Friend made a bet that if I get a gf next sem I owe her 3 meals (one whole day). So if I DON'T get a gf next sem she owes me 3 meals. Looks like a win-win situation to me. Here's to you Rebecca Vincent.

My mom asked me how to spell "dialogue". She's an English major.

My friend called my house phone and asked me if I was home.

Saw many insects flying around an unused waterfall. Realised they were bees. There was a friggin bee hive in my house.

My sister and I watched The Tourist. The ticket lady asked if we wanted a couple seat.

My sister and I were facilitators for an English camp and were getting ready at 7am. She was talking about how she's good at interacting with children. I was bloody tired and sleepy and wanted to express that I was only good for sleeping. I blurted "I'm good in bed".

I was on fb when my friend asked for my bro's new hp no. I didn't even know he had a new no.

Last week I ran into a friend at a mall. Luckily he wasn't hurt.

As I was typing this, a cat casually strolled out of my room and walked down the stairs. I don't have a cat. Hmm...

Here we go again...

2010-12-30T21:17:00.037+08:00

Another New Year, which equates to another year gone. Time really flies like a G6, like a G6, like a G6 ok enough. Another end-of-the-year review. Why do I even bother doing this lol. Feels like some award show. Meh.

*Most 'Happy' Moment(s):

Getting my results for Sem 2 (Y1) and definitely Sem 1 (Y2).

Crapping with this fella.
Watching football with this dude.

Or just being with these awesome ppl.

*Most 'Emo' Moment(s):

Sep 11 2010.

Monash Ball. Or lack thereof.

*Most 'Angry' Moment(s):

Biz Law Assmgt.

Comm Bank Assgmt.

But the past is in the past, ain't it. Hopefully it STAYS in the past.

*Most 'Hyper' Moment(s):

Cultural Night.

Drinking at Suri either b4 or after exams can't remember.

*Most 'Nerd' Moment:

Exam revision in library. Except for the little part where Ian started conversing with Myterious Hot Girl.

*Most 'Nice' Moment(s):

Having ppl tell u that u helped them alot for exams and it paid off.

Interacting with friends' families who u feel are like your own despite the fact you've only known them for a week.

*Most 'Evil' Moment(s):

As usual. My generosity in giving attitude, sometimes unnecessarily.

*Most 'Memorable' Moment(s):

Mauritians coming to JB. Universal Studios.

Awesome Foursome Assignmenting... be it in lib or Reb's place.

#Most 'Emo' Song:

Miley Cyrus - When I Look At You

#Most 'Catchy' Song:

Lady Gaga - Telephone

#Most 'Happy' Song:

Train - Hey Soul Sister

#Most 'Senseless' Song:

Ke$ha - Blah Blah Blah

#Most 'Meaningful' Song:

Maher Zain - Insha Allah

Lessons Learnt in 2010:

It's never too early or late to start something new.

We should study to learn and not just for the sake of.

Be who YOU want to be not what others want you to be.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs.

Fuckin Fed Up

2010-12-22T23:38:00.005+08:00

Everybody has somebody. Everyone has someone. It's time I find mine. I foresee a very bleak social life next year.

It's amazing how ppl tend to harmonize their systems. When someone decides to be an ultra bitch, it's as if everyone else's synchronise as well and become motherfuckers at once.

I have no fuckin idea how I always end up in these kinda situations. Joking or not, good or bad, it's just plain annoying. They stick to you like a plague that just refuses to go away. I used to have high tolerance and just shrug it off. But not anymore. It's fuckin irritating.

Great to have gotten away from this hellhouse for a few days. Back one day and I've already lost every vestige of sanity.

Completely losing my mind. Lethargy. Lacklustre. Morose. Melancholy. I need a fuckin getaway.

Bruno Mars is such an emo singer.

C*laka Hidup Aku, Hidup Aku Purata...

2010-12-21T20:45:00.003+08:00

* Today, a cockroach crawled on my foot while I was onlining. FML.

* Today, 2 cockroaches crawled on my thigh while I was watching a movie. FML.

* Today, my friend was stalking the FB profile of a guy, saying things like "oh my god look at this hot chinese guy" and "look at his body". My friend is a guy. It's ok cos he was stalking his own profile. MLIA.

* Today my friend and I watched this super chick flick. We're both guys. MLIA.

* Today, my family friend, my family friend's cousin, my sister's friend and my friend's boyfriend said I look like Justin Bieber....

*... which is equally as bad as being called Edward Cullen. FML.

* Today my cab driver killed a flying fly in the cab with one hand while driving. He must be a ninja. MLIA.

* Today, the cab driver asked me where I wanted to go. I absent-mindedly said "home". After ten minutes of driving he asked me where my house was. MLIA.

* Today I realised I've been studying a major I've no interest in and can't change to the one I'm interested in. FML.

* Today I realised I've been a 'language' lamppost, feeling like an alien with mandarin, mauritian and now indon speaking ppl. FML.

* Today, I posted several events and experiences that started with today but didn't happen today. MLIA.

....... Spoke to a cab driver in Sunway. He told me this story where he went for breakfast with his best friend last week. His best friend suddenly suffered a heart attack and died after a few mins. He was only 38 and had no history of any diseases. The cab dude was actually tearing while relaying this story. He then told me to cherish all the ppl close to me. Guess thats the msg I'm relaying to u.

Krazy

2010-12-13T16:44:00.008+08:00

Think I'm going crazy. In a good way.

It's good to enrich yourself.

And try to apply what you've learnt in Uni.

After all we are studying not for the sake of studying,

But as a foundation for our future career.

Maybe the copious amount of time on my hands kinda drove me to the extreme.

Heh....

"Rich Dad Poor Dad", "Increase Your Financial IQ", "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind", "What I Learned on the Way to the Top", "Success is a Choice", "The Success System that Never Fails", "Rich Dad's Guide to Investing", "Secrets of Millionaire Investors".....

There are many more.

These books generally teach the same thing.

But they are all awesome.

.......

Whoever said that the elderly know better than the youngsters of today????

If anything they are just as similar lol....

Read this in the papers...

Making out and groping in public...

sheesh...

I'd tell them to grow up, but then.....

Pray

2010-12-10T16:31:00.003+08:00

...that the joke of GG being a reflection of our lives is not real.

...that the joke of us being real reflections of the characters aren't true.

Cos it's beginning to look extremely real.

And if each storyline is an envisage of what is to come,

then I'm doomed.

Or rather,

More doomed than I already am.

Can't believe the impeccable similarities.

Sheesh.

...mlm...

Sometimes, no matter how old,

Or mature,

Or independent,

You think you are...

You still need that guardian angel,

To support you,

& keep you from falling,

When the going gets tough.

Never Say Never (it's) Just A Dream

2010-12-05T21:55:00.014+08:00

Slightly over 3 weeks of hols gone. Spent on family functions, watching chinese dramas, reading finance related books (bonds/stocks/companies/money-making etc =.=), trivial facebooking, putting my insomnia to good use by "protecting" the house against fucking burglars, spending nights alone in my haunted house and of course prudent rumination of my future. Nothing pertaining to my future seems to materialize due to the lack of progress made on discussions due to certain reasons currently unable to be disclosed. Fark. Need to get it sorted freakin ASAP.

Still in shock over results. Immense shock and joy rolled into one giant bundle of emotions. Unexpected. ~~Unbelieberble~~. Unbelievable. It's like attaining an educational Holy Grail or something. Even then, couldn't really "celebrate" due to abovementioned reasons tt cannot be disclosed. Guess my goal now is to sustain it. And hope that me buddies get to achieve it too.

Current Mood : =.=
Current Songs:

Justin Bieber - Pray

Nelly - Just A Dream

Jesse McCartney - Shake

Rihanna - What's My Name

Akon - Angel

Far East Movement - Rocketeer

Bruno Mars - Grenade

My Chemical Romance - SING

Maroon 5 - Give A Little More

P!nk - Raise Your Glass

Ke$ha - We R Who We R

Katy Perry - Firework

Maher Zain - Insha Allah

This is It

2010-11-20T18:34:00.008+08:00

Packing up all your belongings. After 2 years plus.

Feels like you're packing up your life.

And leaving. For good.

Leaving behind an empty shell.

A memory of what you used to be

After a relatively straight road,

You now face the crossroads.

And no matter which path you choose,

You leave some behind.

And now it has sunk in.

It's finally time for goodbye.

All the wrong moves from all the wrong faces..so yeah we're going down

2010-10-28T13:29:00.002+08:00

I realise I always post after the first paper.

Sheesh what was Naruto thinking? Is this how she intends to lower the failure rate? By discharging completely wrong exam tips? Can we sue her for misrep? Lol. Alot of effort wasted. But thats the key word. Effort. You deserve what hard work gets you. Merit. Whatever you achieve via that traditional route, I shall salute you. If your achievements are based from piggybacking others, to hell I say.

Revising with a terrible headache, fever, sore throat, flu, cough and an ulcer is really a battle even worse than exams itself. Thanks to Honey V's miracle drug, the torture lasted only 3 days. But the mental torture remains, as it has been for months and years. But I have a sneaky lil feeling its gonna end soon too. And this time, if circumstances doesn't end my torture, Ill end it myself. As I have always thought (but unfortunately never practiced), enough is enough.

So the supposedly toughest paper is down. 3 more to go, before the advent of another lengthy layoff from uni. And regardless, next sem is gonna be different. For better or worse. People walk in and out of your lives, they leave footprints in your heart, they leave scars in your heart. Some leave both. And at the end of the day, you realise people weren't who you thought they were. And that's when its finally time to say goodbye.

XOXO

2010-10-16T00:42:00.015+08:00

Have you ever felt that your life was similar to a movie? Or that you feel a television show was describing your life perfectly? Right down to every single detail? Well, someone introduced the idea that our lives were reflective of Gossip Girl. Pictures speak a thousand words don't they?

LOL

Already Gone

2010-10-06T13:53:00.003+08:00

Kelly Clarkson's song would describe the upcoming weeks to perfection...

A worst case scenario...

As lectures end and exam nears

So does the innocuous internal fears.

We've painted ourselves individual pictures,

We've planned ahead for our own futures

But during the months, along the way,

Came a close-knit bunch you'd want to stay.

We chill, we talk and time flew by,

Before you know it it's time for goodbye.

The cruel games that Life can play,

Give you close pals, and take them away.

I'll miss the crapping in the room,

Your lame jokes and humour lifting my gloom.

Your curses and swears when they can't score,

We'll never watch football together anymore.

Jokes about Lady Gaga, Beyonce or Katy Perry,

There'll never be another Honey V.

Your vacillating attitude that mirrors me,

I'll never find another monkey.

Your cheerful nature the epitome of joy,

Never failed to delight the old emo boy.

And countless others I've learnt to love,

Especially those friends mentioned above.

I guess it doesn't matter where we take this road,

Cos in the end, someone's gotta go.

And we have to learn to move on,

Cos in a while, we'll all be already gone.

The hols that got away

2010-10-03T16:42:00.006+08:00

Another week of hols, another week gone. Where did the hols go?

Faced with TWO assgmts. No matter. We conquered comm bank, we cld take on cost info and the dreaded enemy comp reporting.

Gary, PW & Vic crashed JB. This time the mauritian didn't spend the whole day sleeping. he actually studied! Lol. Dunno why hes sitting so weirdly.

Managed to squeeze in a day to hit Universal Studios Spore. Bloody awesome I say. Gettin soaked to the skin, hearing Gary scream like a gal, gettin sneezed on by Donkey. Lol. We deserved that day for all the effort we exerted on our bloody assgmts...

Camped in Starbucks and Reb's house to do comp reporting assgmt. Fun to chill, annoying to do. And as usual Gary caved in to the temptations of sleep..

It was a fun week of hols, to say the least. Back to uni again. Mehhh... Brains are scrambled. Exams in 4 weeks. Know nuts abt company reporting. I foresee a very rocky treacherous path ahead. And i wanna see your Roxy-xy-xy your Roxy-xy. Ignore that I'm zombified.

Current Mood: Damn freakin tired and brain dead

Current Songs:

Take It Off (Ke$ha)

Only Girl (Rihanna)

Teenage Dream (Katy Perry)

2012 (Jay Sean)

Something 'Bout Love (David Archuleta)

Put It In A Love Song (Alicia Keys Feat Beyonce)

Teenage Ageing Dream

2010-09-24T13:18:00.002+08:00

It's comforting to know,

that amidst the darkest moments of your life

When every aspect of your world,

seems to be crumbling

You have amazingly awesome friends,

who you can rely on for support

And even when they think they can't do anything to help,

They are doing everything.

And you can't help,

but smile, and love them all.

Hari Raya Hari Neraka

2010-09-11T01:01:00.004+08:00

I shall forever hate Hari Raya.

I shall forever hate YOU.

Cos of you, I've been living a fucking lie.

My worst fears realized.

You made my siblings suffer.

I will never ever fucking forgive you.

You've turned our lives into a giant mess of a nightmare.

I've never cried this much since my grandmother passed.

You have destroyed every single bit of joy in my emo life.

Now finally, everything has made sense.

I fucking HATE you.

Finally!

2010-09-09T03:11:00.002+08:00

Comm Bank assgmt really sucked the life out of us.

Camped in library for 4 days straight.

Brain cells slowly but surely dying. If not by the plethora of crazy numbers then by the freezing cold.

4 brains are definitely better than 1.

Really appreciate everyone's help.

We managed to overcome this monster assgmt as a grp. Well done I say.

The whole assgmt period was bloody crazy. In more ways than one. I'm just glad its over.

But as usual, found mistakes after printing. Heh.

Some things just never change. Oh well. Can't do anything.

I can't wait to leave Sunway and head home. I need a break from all this craziness that has engulfed us all.

Brain is spinning. Final 2 assgmts. Bring it on bitch. Our assignmenting team aint scared of anything.

LOL.

Time for a well deserved break.

Female Peacock

2010-09-06T20:30:00.003+08:00

What if Katy Perry sang a female version of peacock?

"Are you brave enough to let me see your pussycat

Don't be a chicken girl stop acting like a spoilt brat

Imma peace out if you don't give me the pay off

Come on baby let me see what you hiding underneath

Are you brave enough to let me see your pussycat

What you waiting for its time for you to show me that

Don't be a shy kinda gal I bet it's beautiful

Come on baby let me see what you hiding underneath

I wanna see your pussycat cat your pussycat

Your pussycat cat your pussy

I wanna see your pussycat cat your pussycat

Your pussycat cat your pussy.

LOL i tink im too bored. Bloody comm bank assgmt.

Oh for Fu*k's sake!

2010-09-02T17:18:00.002+08:00

WARNING: This post may seem rather RACIST. It's NOT. I aint racist, but this is more appropriately a retrospection; that which have been insidiously building inside me.

Having stayed in Malaysia for goddamn too long, I know alot of ppl have issues with the Malaysian government. Which Malaysian wouldn't right? I mean, which NON-MALAY Malaysian wouldn't. The malays seem to get an abundance of benefits and privileges that the other races dun. And its duly unfair. But channel your hate and anger to those responsible for it, and NOT the citizens. It's not their fault they're on the receiving end of such royalties. That said, there are few malays whose asses I would love to shove with watermelons-bloody teens who think the world is theirs, and the like. 1Malaysia seems pretty distant from materialising, but it wont ever happen if people continue having racist mindsets. I'm not Malaysian, so I guess I don't feel the full force of hatred or anger, but I still feel for my friends who are. Something needs to be done abt the G, and fast, before 1Malaysia becomes a thousand separated pieces.

I don't hate the chinese. Heck my closest pal is a chinese. But I DO have an issue with CHINA PRCS who invade Singapore and expect Singaporeans to accede and acquiesce to their every whim and fancy. I say FUCK YOU. I've seen and heard so many stories of my fellow Spore friends who suffer from the China PRc disease- Assholes who come from China and stay in Spore, and instead of adapting to Singapore, expect the whole of Singapore to adapt to them. Fuckers, you come to a foreign land, YOU adapt to THEIR ways, and not the other way round. No one is asking you to lose your cultures and values, but no one asking you to expect us to adapt to all of your ways. When ppl cant speak mandarin or cant communicate with them, they give off this look of disgust, expecting us to know their language. FUCK OFF! In a way the G is also responsible- hiring all these ppl on the cheap, and in the process fucking Singaporeans. Cos of this, almost every job application now requires "mandarin-speaking" as one of its pre-requisites. Bloody assholes. Just fuck off back to your fucking country. Or at least learn some basic English, and not expect all of Spore to speak your language. Fuckers.

My notion that Blacks were evil ppl were extinguished after getting to know some of em personally here in Sunway. But still, so many of em fuckin act like they own Malaysia and possess that annoying swagger that is just begging for someone to shove a fuckin grenade up their asses and watch the beauty of the resulting fireworks. Stop acting like you're the fucking king, and have some fucking decency and consideration. FUCKERS. I wish I could just kill ppl off and get away with it.

I repeat. I aint racist. This is not a racist post. Ppl jus have issues. They are just silent. I can't get arrested for having an opinion now, can I?

This is YOU.

2010-08-30T22:13:00.007+08:00

Oh her eyes her eyes

Make the stars look like they're not shinin'

Her hair her hair

Falls perfectly without her tryin'

She's so beautiful

~~And I tell her everyday~~

Yeah, I know I know

When I compliment her she won't believe me

And it's so it's so

Sad to think that she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me "do I look okay?", I say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cuz you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

Cuz girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

Her lips her lips

I could kiss them all day if she let me

Her laugh her laugh

She hates but I think it's so sexy

She's so beautiful

~~And I tell her everyday~~

Oh you know you know you know

I'd never ask you to change

If perfect's what you're searching for

Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking if you look ok

You know I'll say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cuz you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

Cuz girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

The way you are

Girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cuz you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

Cuz girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

Current Mood: Emo. Do I even have other moods?

Current Songs:

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Marchin' On - OneRepublic

Misery - Maroon 5

Pyramid - Charice Feat. Iyaz

Magic - B.o.B Feat. Rivers Cuomo

Dynamite - Taio Cruz

Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida Feat. David Guetta

Happy. Birthday. Again.

2010-08-26T00:12:00.003+08:00

Hey You.

Happy 20th.

You're Older now.

But don't worry.

You're not as old as me.

Cheers Bro

(pardon the pic. ive yet to take a 'nice' pic. heh)

What is Life?

2010-08-17T23:07:00.002+08:00

Humans were granted the ultimate gift- Life.

Those pious will say we use our lives to glorify God.

For others, it is to make full use of life, the famous saying "live your life to the fullest".

But what exactly does it mean then? To live your life to the fullest?

Life is not a hectic race to see who finishes first. Who comes out on top. Who is better than the others. This just corrodes the true purpose of life does it not?

We study and work like crazy and stress ourselves up. We find present value, future value, fair value. But what about the value of life? Is there a benchmark to assess it? Is the value of life measured and assessed by our achievements and successes?

Is life an asset? Does it depreciate annually? Can we attach a carrying amount to it?

We are so consumed by everyday stresses that we never stop to ponder the reason we were put on earth. To just marvel at the awesome creations around us. Life to us is just meeting deadlines, passing exams and moving on. Sure, those are important. But is that why we're here? I don't know the answers, but I certainly am sure its not. Take a few moments to enjoy life each day. Because we only live once, and moments gone can never be lived ever again.

Hate The Way I Lie

2010-08-11T13:23:00.002+08:00

I can't tell you what it really is

I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe

I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight

As long as the wrong feels right...

We're runnin' right back here we go again

So insane, cos' when it's goin' good its goin' great

But when it's bad it's awful

I feel so ashamed I snap

Now I know we said things did things

That we didn't mean

And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine

But your temper's just as bad as mine is

You're the same as me

When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk

Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall

Next time there won't be no next time

I apologize even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games

Maturity and Intelligence doesn't always correspond with Age

2010-08-08T14:18:00.007+08:00

One thing I've learnt from spending 2 birthdays in Malaysia with friends. I never get proper cakes. LOL. It aint a bad thing. In fact, its actually pretty awesome. Last year I got a 'chocolate apple' in Anu's house....

This year, I got this... which in my opinion is way cooler than a cake

And it's weird how from past experience, you expect yr friends to throw a surprise for you on your birthday, but because you specifically didn't want anything, it kinda overrides the surprise you were expecting. (i tink im confusing myself). In short, I got surprised. Buncha Oscar winning actors. Touched to the max. Thank you (yet again) Lala...

And Honey V! Can't believe I fell for u and pikwen's blurness after class. Heh.

It was the highlight of a rather nondescript week. I actually didnt study for FOUR days. FOUR!

I think i just set a new record for myself. And I reached another milestone. With Honey V. lol. But the best was yet to come......

Having a pretty close pal in MUFY call you from Aussie to wish you is damn bloody awesome. Super touching gesture. Really appreciate the phone call son. lol. Especially when it was super ex and he still talked for 10mins. Awesome!

----------------------------------------------------------

You get older everyday, but not necessarily wiser. A wise monkey once asked me "why do you get attached to people? You should learn not to give a damn." And I thought to myself, "i know. ive been trying. Ive had it with givin my all to ppl who doesnt actually give a shit about you"

Another friend said: "Learn to ask only tutors/lecturers for help in tutes or assgmts. Try to rely on friends the least. At least in future when you find yourself alone, you won't be completely hopeless and halpless." And I thought "neat." I think my first assgmt this sem I managed it (altho as usual Honey V provided her efforts and inputs)

What are the benefits of a single set of standards? Well, for starters, if there was only one standard, then Katy Perry wouldn't have had to cover herself fully for MTV World Stage, and Beyonce wouldn't have cancelled her shows here all the time. So I say its time Malaysia adopted a bloody international dresscode standard.

Some say Ive changed. For the better. Others say for the worse. I know I have. How you perceive it is obviously up to you. But there's no longer a point in explaining myself. Cos it's tiring. Guess, finally, I'm learning to let go. Whether its the right decision remains to be seen. Cos maturity and intelligence doesn't always correspond with age.

Selamat Hari Jadi (Safe Made Day??)

2010-08-05T18:31:00.001+08:00

Happy 22nd You.

You're OLD.

Bitch.

@$$

2010-08-01T20:12:00.004+08:00

Seriously. How can some people just be so bloody shameless? And not even realise it. Its like they don't have a conscience. You should be disappointed with yourselves. I guess after all that people go through, the ups and downs, instead of making em stronger, in the end it just tears them apart. And the saddest thing is I know I still care, but I just cant bring myself to. I don't even know what to do anymore. At least now I know I'm not the only one who feels this.

F*ck My/His/Her Life is Average

2010-07-28T13:02:00.002+08:00

* Yesterday, my alarm didn't ring and I woke up late. It's ok cos I had no class. MLIA.

* Today, I woke up in the morning. I did not feel like P Diddy. But I felt tired. MLIA.

*Today, for the first time, I lent my iPod to my friend. I felt naked without it. MLIA.

*Yesterday, someone commented that my friend looked like Justin Bieber. FHisL.

*Today, 2 people said I looked like Justin Bieber. And they shouted "bye Justin Bieber" in my direction in a crowded area. I have never been more insulted. FML.

*Yesterday, my usually hyper friend became extremely emo cos Monash has been screwing with him regarding his transfer abroad. FHisL.

*Today, my friend said I had a look that made girls think i was raping them. I don't even know if its an MLIA or a FML.

*Yesterday I shaved. My facial hair. MLIA.

*Yesterday I had a 2 level dream. I felt like I was part of Inception.

*Today I realised my nicknames had always been terrorist, drug addict or playboy. Of late they were Old Man and Justin Bieber. I don't know which is worse lol.

*Today my friend printed all the lecture slides for the whole semester. She printed 2 that the lecturer had just completed. But she forgot to print the one the lecturer was currently going through. FHerL.

*Today I saw a hot girl. She was unforgettable. But she wasn't from California. And she didn't melt my popsicle. MLIA.

*Today I realised all the songs/artistes I like are precisely those that my older brother abhors. FML?

*Today (actually last week) I wondered how it would be if Freddy Kruger acted in Inception.

*Today, I realised this could be the last semester my friends would be together. FOurL.

You & I in a Diverse City Year 2

2010-07-27T17:19:00.002+08:00

2nd week. Its official. All 4 units are boring. And the lecturers don't help. Instead of alleviating the boredom, they amplify it. At least my FM tutor is funny. Kinda. Company reporting is the perfect remedy for insomnia. The cover of banking and finance textbook looks like a scene from Inception. I'm bored.

The old makes way for the new. You lose old things, you get new ones. Old memories are replaced by new ones. But old friends are NEVER replaced by new ones. You just make new ones, while retaining your friendships with the old. But sometimes circumstances force you to sever ties with friends, eventhough you don't want to. It's cos u just have to. I'm glad this semester, my acquaintance with a certain Honey V and Ping Pong have strengthened tremendously. Guess im sick and tired of deciding who's real and who's fake. Immerse myself with people who I know I can count on. And not those with poker faces pretending to be friends. Time and energy can be better spent elsewhere doing more beneficial things. Like hanging out. Gosh, the amount of time spent hanging out the past week definitely surpassed that of last semester lol.

Assignment due in 9 days. Gee, thx alot Monash. As if screwing with us abt our transfer options aint bad enough, you gotta bombard our pre-acclimatized minds with assignments. Dang.

I keep wanting to go out. This is all your fault Ping Pong. LOL. Hope u feelin better.

This could be the last time we're all together. Make it count.

New Year

2010-07-19T17:10:00.002+08:00

Ok it aint a new year. Duh. But its a new UNI year. =.=

So there are certain resolutions I have made but knowing how my plans always fail, this time Ill just go with the flow and see where it takes me bearing in mind my resolutions. Few very tough decisions to be made. I hate to make em, but I feel its imperative. For my sake. Painful, to say the least.

How to study. I shall alwaes rmb what my AFW1000 tutor told us in tute: How do u rmb the names of all yr new classmates? You don't read their names off the list at once and try to cram it in yr head and memorise them. You won't succeed. Instead, when you constantly call their names (as in talk to them and get to know them) on a consistent basis u'll slowly start to rmb. Its the same with studying. Don't try memorising everything. Just study bit by bit week in week out and slowly ull start to grasp and understand. And its very true.

To all u ppl who I deleted off fb (not that you'd actually read this cos if u were reading this chances are u still are my fb friend), stop adding me back! I deleted u cos 1) it was a random add 2) im not very close to u or i dunno u that well or 3) I just hate u. And Im still not done cleaning up fb. So many more ppl to kick out. Lol what a badass. Yeah right.

The Mauritian - Malaysian - Singaporean Connection

2010-07-15T22:35:00.012+08:00

This is a rather belated post. I've been busy being annoyingly poisoned the past week. And I'm still not completely cured. Bollocks. Well, just like that, another round of hols has come and gone. How has the hols treated me? Hmm. Emoing, listening to iPod, watching ~~porn~~ movies and dramas, listening to iPod, conversing with ghosts, getting my house stalked and broken into. The usual.

Having retarded msn convos...

Things turned dramatically when a couple Mauritians crashed boring JB. One of em being Gary Lee Ching Ping Pong (sry still dunno wads yr real full name). He came all the way here just to sleep....

And to Facebook...

Cant really upload those "other" secretly taken pics...too incriminating...

On those rare days he did decide to go out, we all went shopping (=.=), arcade

and to ride swings like lil kiddies

Other than that, it was blindminton, bumper cars and fantastic dinner at Reb's house, supper at mine, and nth else really. the week flew by. Thrs not much pix here cos Pooja already stuffed her memory card and our facebook walls with her thousands of snaps here there everywhere.

Results were astonishing to say the least. Completely unexpected. Glad that almost everyone did well. Almost. Finally found the right study plan. Seriously, 3 IDIOTS is possibly one of the most educational movies ever, despite its contrasting title. Actually teaches u HOW to study effectively, how to cherish friendships and family bonds, and how to overcome obstacles to achieve self-actualization. One thing that always bothered me though was how 30-40yr old actors could still portray students in Bollywood films......

Thk God dad didnt ruin my 'exam results' jubilation.
Me: I got my results today.
Dad: How'd u do?
Me: I got 3 HDs and um, 1 C.
Dad: C for????
Me: Finance (mentally preparing speech abt how the lecturer really sucked...)
Dad: Oh okay well u got 3 other HDs so nvm. Good Job.
I'm like okayyyyyyyyy. Cool.

Next sem is gonna be different. And I'm not just talking study-wise. Time to achieve my own self-actualization. MY.

Current mood: Happy like nobody's biz, altho im pretty sure its gonna change soon. lol.

Current Songs:

Never Say Never - Justin Bieber feat. Jaden Smith

I Like It - Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull

Wavin' Flag - K'naan feat. David Bisbal

Airplanes - B.o.B. feat. Hayley Williams

My First Kiss - 3OH!3 feat. Ke$ha

STOP!

2010-07-06T14:10:00.002+08:00

All those weird dreams where I flunked my exams.
All those weird dreams with really random people.
I just wish I could be that guy back in 2008 that wasn't so emo but was filled with anger instead and didn't let anything in the world bother him at all. How the heck did Sunway change me so much lol.
And all you creepy ghosts, please stop talking to me while I'm listening to my ipod. Its jus rude, and creepy. Thank you.

Oh Em Gee

2010-06-29T14:39:00.003+08:00

Ok the title sounds damn bimbo. But I seriously cant fathom why everyone (yes I mean EVERYONE) loves that stupid song OMG by Usher and Will.I.Am. Am I the only one who despises it? Lol maybe. But music nowadays is becoming more crap. The Usher of old was better. Not that I was a fan in the first place. Lady Gaga is getting weirder and more erratic even by her own standards, Christina Aguilera is tryna copy Lady Gaga, Ke$ha is still that slutty skank and Justin Bieber is, well, Justin Bieber. Someone needs to save the music industry before it self implodes. But even then there are enough suckers like me who still listen to the trashy music these days to keep it afloat. =.=

On a side note... WORLD CUP. Netherlands v Brazil and Germany v Argentina.....mouthwatering I say.

Current songs:
Waka Waka - Shakira
Hey Soul Sister - Train
Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade
Chāo Rén Bù Hùi Fēi - Jay Chou
Shuō Le Zaì Jiàn - Jay Chou
California Gurls - Katy Perry
Somebody To Love - Justin Bieber
Impossible - Shontelle
We'll Be A Dream - We The Kings

Miserable at Worst

2010-06-24T19:28:00.001+08:00

I guess I am just like a tissue paper. Find it when you need it. Once you use it, you just dump it away. That's me...

Miserable at Best

2010-06-23T14:50:00.002+08:00

Exams are over. Time to rejoice. And pray that all you've done for the exams were enough to see you through. Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT EMO because I CANNOT STUDY ANYMORE. Its actually funny. Have I turned into such a giant nerd that people think I LOVE studying? i don't LOVE to study. Its just that I HAVE TO. Glad exams are over and that this sem I didn't make the same mistake last sem - that is memorizing everything.

A joke got me thinking deeply. Someone said I dunno what happiness is anymore cos Im too emo. And I think its true. Maybe I've been so emo that i don't understand or recognise joy anymore; my life is too ingrained in sorrow that I'm afraid of happiness- when I experience it, I immediately shut it out. Who knows.

I'm boring. Yes, it kinda hurts when someone says that, but I guess I gotta get past it. All the tutors and lecturers are my best friends. Since I'm boring, we shouldn't hang out. And since studies equates to friendship, studying equates to hanging out. And since we shdn't hang out, that means we shouldnt study together. Right? Lol, Im spastic. But it makes sense. The hols always ascertain this for me.

Just waiting for exam results to be out. Then I'll see if I had improved. I feel i did better this sem than last sem, although last sem was easier.
There are many lessons to be learnt in life. One of the most impt to learn is that there is no easy way to success. Im pretty sure the recently concluded exams reenforced this lesson for me.

Unbelievable...

2010-05-30T19:42:00.002+08:00

Can't believe nearly 22 years ago he saw the world.
Can't believe 16 years ago he left his hometown for a foreign land.
Can't believe 12 years ago he was abused for the first time.
Can't believe 10 years ago he broke family tradition, with devastating ramifications.
Can't believe only 5 short years ago he had his first real communication with the opposite sex.
Can't believe 4 years ago he weighed 70+ kg.
Can't believe 3 years ago he experienced the most enriching phase of his life.
Can't believe 3 years ago she left earth so unexpectedly; his heart still misses her to this day.
Can't believe it was only 2 years ago he met him; someone who added so much colour to his life, someone he looked upon as a brother, someone he feels he's known for life.
Can't believe it was only 2 years ago he met her; someone who managed to steal his emo heart, and fill it with unexplainable joy, who managed to extract the "L" word from his mouth.
Can't believe 1 year ago he went through his most emo phase in life.
Cant believe 5 months ago he made the biggest mistake of his life.
Can't believe it was only 3 weeks ago he made her the happiest person on earth, and subsequently made her the most emo person ever.
Can't believe he is blogging in this critical moment while his roommate his entertaining him with his nice singing voice.
Can't believe he's not studying with exams in 12 days.

Song Lessons

2010-05-26T20:03:00.003+08:00

Ive crapped abt what tv shows have taught me. Now Im gonna crap abt what songs have taught me. One of the most hyped singer since his/her inception has to be without a doubt (no NOT justin bieber) but Lady Gaga. This is what her singles have taught me:

Just Dance - Sometimes in the midst of all the ongoing crap occuring in yr life, its good to just forget abt em and let loose
Poker Face - You cant really trust people cos they can backstab u. Oh, and those who appear straight may actually be gay. Lol.
LoveGame - A dick can be called a discostick.
Paparazzi - Loving someone too much may be dangerous
Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) - The time will come when people close to us start to leave, and we just have to accept it :(
Bad Romance - You do your best to please someone, to want their love, attention and affection, but all u get in return is entrapment in a loveless relationship/friendship.
Telephone - Household items with repetitions make very good songs. Like Rihanna's Umbrella. =.=

KE$HA's songs taught me that you can appear to be some slutty bimbo who prances around singing about the most pointless crap, but you will still be famous. Such is the sad scene of the music industry nowadays.

Ok lah. JUSTIN BIEBER. What have his songs taught me?
One Time : A boy and girl are meant to be an item. A pair. Not boy and boy or girl and girl. Provided the girl is not taller than the guy lah.
One Less Lonely Girl: Same thing.
Baby: Again the same thing. How much a girl means to a boy. He has to find girls shorter than him for his vids.
Eenie Meenie: Childhood nursery rhymes/songs can be made into meaningless songs nowadays, needing just an insanely catchy tune.

Current mood: So extremely dead tired
Current Songs:
What you waiting for - MizzNina feat Colby O
All night long - Alexandra Burke feat Pitbull
California Gurls - Katy Perry feat Snoopp Dogg
Alejandro - Lady Gaga

Rude Boy, Girl, Man, Woman.... =.=

2010-05-21T11:44:00.003+08:00

Funny ain't it?

How close friends can turn to strangers.

How your closest friends always tear you down and seem to not care.

And those you thought weren't close to you are the ones that always had your back and supported you.

The beauty of relationships and friendships.

Life. Expect the unexpected. Expect nothing.

What do I do?

2010-05-16T20:20:00.002+08:00

Each day brings new problems

Each problem does not come with new solutions

And each day brings different emotions to a particular issue

What do I do?

Carry on? Or just stop once and for all?

Driving me crazy. I wish i had the energy and strength

To let go once and for all

God why the frack am I so EMO??!!

Motherf*cker I'm Awesome No You're not Dude don't Lie

2010-05-07T18:49:00.002+08:00

Things have been hectic. Crazy.
Assignments come and go. Mind's been hazy.
Can't handle uni work.
Seriously going berserk.
Revision momentum's been screwed.
Well, this is nothing new.
Emotional pain hurts more than the physical.
Whether it comes from your close friend or a girl.
They say if you love something,
You let it go and see if it comes running,
Back to you.
If it doesn't, what to do?
What if you give your all for a friend or a boy/girl u love,
But that person only gets on your nerve.
You invest so much time and emotions.
But there's no reciprocation.
Just give up. There's no point right? Don't give a damn.
They don't see us like how we see them.
We learn to let go.
They'll never know.
Guess this is how it finally goes down.
Without a smile, but only a frown.
Regret. Sorrow. The good memories gone by.
We live for ourselves. With ourselves. With me myself and I.
Shut the world out. And just focus on what counts,
Marketing, MoneyCaps, Biz Law and Accounts.

Current Mood: Emo, emo, emo, tired, emo, emo, emo
Current Songs:
Billionaire (Travie McCoy feat Bruno Mars)
I'm Awesome (Spose)
When I Look At You (Miley Cyrus)
All I Ever Wanted (Kelly Clarkson)
Your Love Is My Drug (Ke$ha)
Eenie Meenie (Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston)
Rude Boy (Rihanna)

What Do I Want From Me

2010-03-31T13:49:00.002+08:00

"Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep comin' around
Hey What do I want from me?"

Seriously, Ive no idea what I want from myself. For myself. Sometimes, the greatest pressure doesn't come from your parents or peers, but from yourself, and I guess that's what's happening to me right now. Perhaps I'm putting too much pressure on myself to succeed. And Lord knows it has backfired.

Random thought. It's been 4-5 weeks in uni. And I've realised that I don't really have a "guy" clique. Usually guys have their whole buncha friends from their hometowns or wadever. And for me, I'm usually always with a buncha girls. Not that it's a bad thing. But it ain't sucha good thing either. It just made me realise I've never had a whole bunch of guy friends ever since I set foot in Sunway 2 years ago.

Monash has screwed us over. Yet again. It's getting sickening. And yes I'm pissed cos they just messed up with our futures. Ok not so for mine cos I never really thought about it, but my friend had, so thats reason enough for me to be mad at Monash. And now I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Being indecisive has alot of disadvantages. What happens from here on? Do we just go along with what our families have decided for us, even though we don't want to? Do we take the most convenient path? Perhaps we head to the place we really want to go despite all the difficulties of obtaining it. Or maybe, we just follow our friends wherever they go, since they're doing the same thing as us and we don't know what we want for ourselves. What do I want from me?

One prob that has plagued me since the beginning of time has to be the whole 'nice' issue. At times, I find myself being the nicest person I can be, cos that's who I generally am. Helping ppl and being nice makes u feel good. Yet, the downside is being unappreciated or taken advantage of. And then when I decide enough is enough and have that "fuck lah u assholes who keep using me" feeling, I shut them out. And they have the perception of u having attitude, forgetting all the good you've done. It's getting tiring. And I'm tired of complaining. And you're tired of me complaining. Lol. Guess I ain't the only one feeling like this.
"I am glad I finally decided to let go of a friendship that is brain draining.. I am dead tired trying to be who I am not, and thinking that I am always the one at fault.. I deserve so much better!!"
Friend's Facebook Status
What are u supposed to do? What do I want from me?

There are ppl who are born smart. And there are ppl like me who have to study. And I guess I've had enough. Enough of studying like a crazy nerd everyday, forsaking my social life and every little bit of pleasure in the process, and seeing all that hard work and effort not pay off. Its physically and mentally tiring. Of course I don't expect instant yields per se. But seeing that my constant nerding still makes me a clueless ass about everything and having disappointing returns week in week out just makes me wanna not try so hard anymore. So much input, no output. And others who seem to not give a damn about studies reap all the rewards they never sowed. It ain't about jealousy. Just unfairness. I'm too tired of everything. I just feel like giving up.

Lost Then Found...and Lost again

2010-03-17T16:47:00.009+08:00

Yours truly is back. I've finally decided to heed the calls of my hundreds of loyal fans and return to cyberspace. Ok I lied i dun have hundreds of fans. Maybe only 2 or 3. :P . So bloody much has happened since uni started. Gosh where do I start. Uni. It's mind- boggling how I've been studying everyday for hours and yet I can never seem to keep pace with the schedule; I'm always 1/2 weeks behind. And certain ppl in Monash really shd take certain courses to enable them to be more proficient in specific fields. Not gonna name anyone cos I dun wanna get sued for sedition lol. BUT!

Someone has to stop saying "can you see or not" every 30 seconds.
Someone has to pronounce individual as "individual" and not "individiu".
Someone has to stop saying that the unit she is lecturing is boring. What kinda lecturer derides her own unit?
Whoever wrote the AFW1002 textbook should be sued (but I tink they're dead already). So many bloody mistakes. Glaring ones like "appplied".

=============================================

* Saw someone in lecture that looks like a freakin hybrid of me and another friend. Of cos that fella was good looking, tho his dress sense needs a lil twerkin. Lol.

*Getting creeped out by somene's supposed physicness. It's like our minds are completely connected.

* Made the biggest mistake I've ever made this year.

* What happened to sexyback? Well, I know she was My Love, but I doubt it was just a Summer Love, but maybe What Goes Around Comes Around and although I may still be Lovestoned this love aint gonna last Until The End Of Time:(

=============================================

My new room. Ok I didn't shift places. And its stupid to say new cos thrs no old pics to compare it with. But those of u who knows what my room looked like before will know the diff. Actually thr's not much.

The overall 'modifications' and 'renovations' of the room included that young boy sleeping. He was part of the renovation package. That's me roomie. :) Housemate turned Roommate turned Stranger turned Crashmate and now back to Roommate again. Got more scandalous pix of this fella but the pix are copyrighted so cant post anyhow and anywhere.

=============================================

What's the diff between a bitch and a pessimist? A bitch just talks shit about ppl beind their backs cos they're bored of their own lame lives and their sole misson in life is to destroy the lives of others. A pessimist just sees the bad/darker side of things, but he/she may be a good person.

Being a pessimist, I tend to always look on the dark side of life; every aspect of it. I don't hate things. I just see the bad in things, even the good ones. Like friends....

* You and I had not had any probs/bust-ups for ages. That's a good thing. But it probably is because we have not been close enough recently to have any disagreements. Yes, we've drifted.

* Personal talks seem harder with you now. There seems to be a wall between us, and any effort made to break it down always fails.. Trust is decreasing. The fun times are there, but so are the 'shit' ones. You seem to value nothing and no one, other than yourself.

* You tend to bullshit alot. Then again who doesn't. Called me your "best friend" once. [LOL]. You just seem to be changing perpetually, and it gves rise to the notion that you are fake. Then again, maybe its just my imagination.

* There's all the hoping and waiting and patience. And in the end nothing ever seems to materialise. Like the first one, there seems to be no problems with us because we've not been close enough.

* I've overlooked what everyone's been dishing about you - all the crap, shit, derisive comments- because you're close to me. Friends give and take, and accept each other's flaws. But sometimes, you just have to overdo it, and your mannerisms can irk even the most patient and kind of hearts. I prefer you acting 'old'.

* You used to be a saviour to me. Now, you just seem to be a nobody.

Everyone has their bad points. Heck, I'm emo, display attitude etc. And yes I love my friends but as mentioned, I always look on the dark side of life. I'm still wondering how I should be....

Current Mood: Frustrated

Current Songs:

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

According To You - Orianthi

Uprising - Muse

Today Was A Fairytale - Taylor Swift

Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston

Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore

Solo - IYAZ

Universe-City

2010-03-02T11:39:00.003+08:00

Hols officially ended. Uni's started. I'm not pleased.
First day of Uni. Wanted to study. No material to use. I'm not pleased.
Books are friggin expensive. I'm not pleased.
I still have no friends in Uni. Except for my occasional hot friends. hahaha. I'm not pleased.
Wasted the first night of sem doing nothing. And by nothing I mean listening to music, watching cartoons, cocking around, having pillowfights etc. (yes, pillowfights). I'm not pleased.
Actually went to gym! And have been the butt of someone's jokes since forever. I'm not pleased.
Dunno how to find work to earn money. I'm not pleased.
Currently "half" succeeding with my 'operation'. I'm not pleased.
The net has been MIA since forever. I'm not pleased. (but its back now. =.=)
Timetable aint the exact way I planned it to be. I'm not pleased.
Future is still nebulous. I'm not pleased.
Some people are secret assholes. I'm not pleased.
Someone said I'm boring. Boring! I know I'm boring, but no one has ever said that before. I'm not pleased.
I am always not pleased. I'm not pleased that I'm always not pleased.

Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Songs:
Baby - Justin Bieber Feat Ludacris
Lost Then Found - Leona Lewis Feat OneRepublic
Cry Me Out - Pixie Lott
Telephone - Lady Gaga Feat Beyonce
Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas

End of Hols, End of Hell? (as i know it)

2010-02-21T01:18:00.012+08:00

So hols are drawing to a close, and 3.5 months have just zoomed past like nobody's business. And its weird when you realise the upcoming sem is about the same duration with the hols we just had. Time to bid adieu to home ~~sweet~~ home, and say hello to ~~bright sunny~~ Sunway. Here's what I've learnt in the past few months or so (not that you'd care lol but I aint askin for yr permission).

* its better to ask for forgiveness than for permission

* some people are just a waste of time to have in your life. its better to just cut them out.

* the time will come when u have to finally step up and take a stand on yr own life. and not follow what ppl always tell u to do. if not, you'll be living THEIR lives, not YOURS.

* boredom has its own benefits. sometimes.

* holidays doesnt necessarily equate to good times. yours truly found out the extremely painful way.

* if ppl cant accept u for who u are, then they dun really care abt u. of course, some have their own standards and principles and stuff, but every relationship has certain "gives and takes". u cant expect someone to change their behaviour just because someone else doesnt like it.

* talking about problems doesnt necessarily makes you feel better, given the saying "talking it out will make u feel better". [ok its not really a saying lah but u geddit]. while it may hold true at times, sometimes it doesnt cos the person u talk it out to doesnt actually care about it altho they persistently ask. they just wanna know for the sake of knowing.

* friends come and go. having good friends is healthy (yes it is). sadly, good friends are hard to find nowadays. and those friends that u tink are close to u may just be assholes in disguise, and cant be trusted.

* sleeping late and being haunted every night is very very unhealthy. messes alot with your mind and body.

* late night chats on the phone that last for hours are pretty fun. unless u hear a scary male voice on the line all of a sudden when you're talking to a girl.

* gaining weight is a surreptitious activity. u THINK u still weigh and look the same (ard there). next thing u know poof u gained 8kg.

* when ppl say "ill think abt it/i'll try/i'll see what i can do", most prolly they wont do nothing.

* tragedy can strike at any damn time. and they force u to tap into a side of yrself that u didnt know existed, and delve into the strange world of evil (as in behavioural evil, not Jennifer's Body evil)

* being chased by a huge ginormous flying insect for 10+ mins around yr house at 3am is really good exercise.

* when yr chamber of secrets has been opened and u are asked about it, just deny it [especially if its a secret u do not want known].

* Singapore is so much better than JB. Im so glad Im Sporean, altho JB will forever be my home.

* apparently ive been emo for wayyyyyy too long that now, when Im happy ppl think Im on drugs.

* Facebook is getting really boring. All people do nowadays are become fans of this and that and send really annoying invitations to be on their damn farm/aquarium/mafia.

* Sometimes u really cant read people at all. Those popular kids in school (those typical swimmer/sportsppl etc) may actually turn out to be "queer", and those shoved in the back who constantly get derided (being called gay, weirdo etc) may turn out to be popular in their later years.

7 days to March 1. To Sem. To nerding. To stress. May the Force be with us all. I am hoping so much that I do NOT get a repeat of first sem. that whole sem was a gigantic mess.

Mr Bean's Avatar

2010-02-13T18:42:00.001+08:00

Seriously cant stop LMAO at this pic. Too bloody funny.

Which One Are U?

2010-02-10T19:24:00.003+08:00

"Please tell me what is taking place
Cos I can't seem to find a trace
Guess it must have got erased somehow

Can't help it if I space in a daze
My eyes tune out the other way
I may switch off and go in a day dream
In this head my thoughts are deep
Sometimes I can't even speak
Would someone be and not pretend
I'm off again in my world"
Avril Lavigne - My World

"You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you
All the things you had for me
All the shit that you do"
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending

"You lookin' like a tool not a bawler
You're actin' like a chick why bother
I can find someone way hotter
With a bigger *wow*"
Ke$ha - Kiss N Tell

"That I just want you to know
I found out the reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I found out the reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you"
Hoobastank - The Reason

"Am I just some chick you placed beside you
To take somebody's place
When you turn around
Can you recognize my face

Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere"
Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip

"My new nickname is you idiot (such an idiot)
Thats what my friens are calling me when
They see me yelling into my phone
They tellin' me let go
He is not the one
I thought I saw your potential
Guess thats what made me dumb

This is stupid I'm not stupid
Don't talk to me like I'm stupid
I still love you but I just cant do this
I may be dumb but I'm not stupid"
Rihanna - Stupid In Love

"Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down knocks you down"
Keri Hilson - Knock You Down

"The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games
You're insecure
You love me you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Doesn't know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing
I hate the most that you do
You make me love you"
Miley Cyrus - 7 things

"Sometimes I feel like I'm going out of my mind
Boy the way you do me is a damn crime
But then you smile at me and it's alright
With you there ain't no in between
Every time that I walk out the door
Tell myself I can't take it no more
There's a part of me won't let you go
I keep saying yes when my minds' saying no

Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you"
The Saturdays - Issues

"There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time to criticize me
It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today

So shut up shut up shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out get out get out
Get out of my way
Step up step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down"
Simple Plan - Shut Up

"Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
You feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With the big fake smiles
And stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding"
Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life

... and a song that contains perhaps one of the most meaningful lyrics.....

"Sometimes we fall down can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah we gotta start
Lookin' at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got then we gotta start thinkin'
If every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

If your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful
Who we left out of our lives
When we long for absolution
There'll be no one on the line

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone"
Kris Allen - Live Like We're Dying

Current Songs:
Kiss N Tell, Blah Blah Blah (Ke$ha)
Love Me (Justin Bieber)
Live Like We're Dying (Kris Allen)
Time For Miracles, Whataya Want From Me (Adam Lambert)
Imma Be (Black Eyed Peas)
Young Forever (Jay-Z)

Penderitaan Dalam Kesunyian....lol

2010-02-03T21:34:00.002+08:00

In the past, whenever fights/arguments/misunderstandings occured, we always apologised first, whether we were right or wrong. Why? Because the value of the friendship/relationship was more than the value of our pride - it didn't matter that we "lose face" by apologising first, as long as it kept that friendship intact and strong. But not anymore. The days of us always apologising first has to go, and gone it has. It's not because the value of the friendship has decreased, or that the value of our pride has increased; it's simply cos constantly apologising will only cover the source of the real problem by making things seem as though they are okay again, when they really aren't. The message won't get across and people won't ever understand cos our apologies make them think that everything is ok and its been done and dusted. It's not, and the sad part is, it probably never will be.

It's impossible to give your attention to every single person in your life; those closer to you will indefinitely recieve more of yours, and those that aren't may receive less or none at all. You don't mean to be mean, but that's how it is. But sometimes pre-destined priorities or bonds that have been set make this rather tricky, complicated and ultimately frustrating. Someone may mean the world to you, but to that person, you are just "somebody else". They have a silent obligation, a "circle" in which they are forever bonded with and in, and we are forever on the outside, trying desperately to find a way to get in, but to no avail. Whatever we do for them only brings us to the surface of that circle, but never inside. While those on the inside remain inside even if they are complete assholes. There's just no way to break this circle, and that's the sorrowful deal we've been dealt. Talking to them about it won't do you any good. Why? Cos they'll deny it, an argument will break out, and you're forced to never bring it up again. So what do we do? We suffer in silence. BUT that does not mean we'll allow it. We just pick ourselves up and fight back. In silence. And the day that we are truly gone from your lives, you may not even care, or it will be the day you will finally realise and regret.

Suffer In Silence

2010-01-31T17:06:00.002+08:00

Some bonds are unspoken
Some bonds are unbroken
They can't be penetrated
They leave you frustrated
What do we do?
We suffer in silence.

We give them our all
We're there when they fall
But once they get up
You find yourself shut out
What can we do?
We suffer in silence.

Words are shared and emotions run high
Yet everything ends with a sigh
Despite their faults and all your tries
Seen by all except their eyes
What's there to do?
We suffer in silence.

Priorities are set
Your expectations aren't met
They're most important to you
Yet they don't have a clue
What's left to do?
We suffer in silence.

Pointless arguments and stupid fights
About who is wrong and who is right
And yet nothing enters their heads
Because those bonds have made them dead
Screams reverberate inside
We suffer in silence.

Those bonds have higher value
Forces defeat for you
Hands tied and lips sealed
Given a very sorrowful deal
Nothing we can do
We suffer in silence

Once the dust settles
Your mind's going mental
Cos nothing you've done
Can change what's gone
And in the end
We suffer in silence.

This is dedicated to someone. You know who you are. Hope things get better.

S.I.G.H

2010-01-23T01:44:00.004+08:00

Perhaps its watching too much of Survivor that made this hell of a home feel like a Survivor campsite - gotta be careful who u can trust, watch out for those who stab u in the back, those who bitch about u and u gotta pray u dont get targeted. Such is the state of hell I'm in right now that even when I cannot possibly lose anymore, things can still get worse and descend to levels I could never fathom. Home? Family? Sigh. Stupid Ignorant Gay House.

And its really troubling to know how assholic, repulsive and plain fucked up certain human beings can be. The following video is DISTURBING. Can cause your heart to break, and yr eyes to tear. I know mine nearly did. Completely inhumane.

This Lithuanian fucker had a problem with this dog, named Pepper, who had apparently disturbed his mother. He stole Pepper from his neighbour and wanted to prove that "dogs can fly" as revenge. Pepper miraculously survives, but unfortunately it succumbed to its massive injuries a week later. A global internet campaign to find and arrest this jackass proved successful after he was nabbed in Sweden. Sadly, he was only charged for animal cruelty and faced 1 year imprisonment. Jail is probably too good for this motherfucker of a human who should be thrown off the same bridge and have his body run over by a giant truck. ASSHOLE.

Automatic Systematic Problematic So Dramatic

2010-01-15T16:55:00.003+08:00

The classic adage that "friends come and go but family remains forever" will always hold true to a certain extent, but personally, ive experienced enough to challenge this notion which i deem fallible. As independent as one may be, they will at some point need support - no one is omnipotent etc - and well, friends have basically provided that more than family has for the past few years. And there comes a point when even indifference cannot make the pain go away and the capacity to overlook everything is replete with and taken over by anger and hate. I cannot take anymore of all this shit. And its come to the point where Ive nothing else to say except I sincerely hate u.

Came across this article. One measure of judging how much u mean to someone or how close u are to them arises in the form of when u are facing a problem. Kinda coincidental cos I can pretty much relate to it right now. But its just a general concept since the fundamentals and dynamics of life cannot be grasped and understood easily.
If a friend knows you have a problem and responds with "I'm sorry to hear that", "Damn that sucks" or its apropos, chances are that person doesn't really care about the ongoings in your life and is probably not close with you at all. You don't mean much to him/her.
If that friend's response is "Wish I could help you" or anything related along that line, he/she is probably close and does care about you but not enough. The "wish" is merely a veneer to mask the fact that action speaks louder than words.
When a friend lets his/her action do the talking in the form of advice or material help, you probably mean a lot to that person for them to want to bail you out of the trouble you are having. He/she is probably a very close friend.

Having said that, the above measure may/may not be accurate and the only way u get to judge someone is once uve gotten to know em and all. An example is that a stranger may know your problem and may offer help. That does not make him/her yr close friend, but it does imply that he/she is a good person.

It sux tryna free yourself from a maze when every exit u find is immediately slammed shut in your face and ur back to where u started, only worse off cos there are fewer exits to escape from. But its nice to know that in the darkest of times, when all hope seems lost, there are certain people you know you can always turn to. (sounds like a Mariah Carey song...)
Been ever helpful. Jolly. Unwaveringly nice. Boy, I am omni-thankful. Little itsy me. Touched. Surprisingly united. Always nearly nutty. Alas, never getta mingle, interact. Nevermind, go slowly. Hopefully establish now.

I've found my avatar, XsXsX. And no "it" is not in Pandora.

I seriously need some light in this shitty hellhole. Im losing my mind. Thankfully there are few 'angels' keeping me sane. Needless to say I love em. But for one, without hugs and kisses. LOL.

Current Songs:
王妃 - Jam Hsiao
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Take It Off - Ke$ha
Hard - Rihanna
All Or Nothing - Jay Sean

Fark?

2010-01-05T20:02:00.002+08:00

2009 Ended on a High. With Clubbing.
2010 Started ominously. With Death.
And as of 05 January 2010 1550hrs, I am in the worst place I've ever been. And there's no way back from this. It's a downward spiral from here on.

Goodbye 2009

2009-12-30T01:50:00.002+08:00

Yet another year is on the brink of being history as we usher in the year 2010. This would probably be the last post of 2009 for me, and Id like to take a look at the highs and lows of a rather tumultuous year.

* Most Embarrassing moment:
Without a doubt, having my privates exposed and seen by someone. TWICE.

* Most Emo moment:
2 I can remember among many, but prolly has to be the late Jan-March period. Wont go into detail.

* Most Hyper moment:
Guess it has to be any of the Bohos we had. Specially with Mich.

* Most Angry moment:
Accounts Exam in Monash. Lol

* Most Happy moment:
August. The month seemed drama-free. And also a certain week of January.

* Most Lame moment:
There are gazillions, but the lamest has to be the secretive convos and "thpathtic" times with Ann.

* Most Nerd moment:
Sep- Nov. DUH.

* Most Nice moment:
Helpin someone with Research Paper and assignment. There's something about seeing your help not get wasted and eventually paying off for that someone. Feels good.

* Most Evil moment:
Giving unnecessary attitude to 2 ppl. One during MUFY another in Monash.

* Most Memorable moment:
Same as the embarrassing moment. Having my d*** seen at CLOSE RANGE for few seconds. As bloody embarrassing as it was, it was an awkwardly funny moment and one hard to forget too.

* Most Emo Song:
No doubt Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone

* Most Catchy Song:
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

* Most Happy Song:
Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

* Most Peaceful Song
Owl City - Fireflies

Lessons learnt in 2009:
* When you get beaten down, fight to pick yourself up no matter how hard it is, or how bad the situation is.
* Choose friendships wisely. Friends are one of the vital pillars and aspects of our lives, and not having proper friends can be dangerous. Keep your good friends close.
* Do not be generous with kindness. Too little is not good for others, but too much is not good for yourself.

Hēi Sè Yōu Mò

2009-12-25T22:53:00.002+08:00

Thrs been one song that has been stuck in my head for few weeks now already. If you'd noticed, sometimes Id have a lil "current songs" section in me posts. these are the songs that are stuck in my head for that period of time. But this one song really caught my attention. Its not catchy, and thrs no like super audio effects or wadever. You might even call it boring. and, its not even in english. Well, the song is the title of this post. By Jay Chou. Means Black Humour. I think. The song has alot of raw emotions, and i guess, me being emo, tts y it attracted me. Anywaes, the lyrics are pretty meaningful. Kinda applies to certain aspects of my life right now.

難過
是因為悶了很久
是因為想了太多
是心理起了作用
你說苦笑常常陪著你
在一起有點勉強
該不該現在休了我
不想太多
我想一定是我
聽錯弄錯搞錯
拜託我想是你的腦袋有問題
隨便說說
其實我早已經猜透看透不想多說
只是我怕眼淚撐不住
不懂你的黑色幽默
想通卻又再考倒我
說散你想很久了吧
我不想拆穿你
當作是你開的玩笑
想通卻又再考倒我
說散你想很久了吧
敗給你的黑色幽默
說散你想很久了吧
我的認真敗給黑色幽默

First, I aint sure if the chinese characters are right. C'mon I don read/write chinese.

Second, I dont tink this is the full song cos thrs a repeat in the verse.

Third, Im not gonna translate it if u cant read chinese/mandarin. If u wanna know go bother findin out yrself lol (and i know u wont bother haha)

No song has got me "emotionally attached" [sounds really gay] like this song. Other songs that had were An Jing (oso Jay Chou) and Already Gone (Kelly Clarkson)

Other Current Songs:

I See You (Leona Lewis)

Hard (Rihanna Feat Jeezy)

Heaven Can Wait (We The Kings)

Morning After Dark/If We Ever Meet Again (Timbaland)

Love Me/One Less Lonely Girl (Justin Bieber)

Straight Through My Heart (Backstreet Boys)

In My Head (Jason DeRulo)

Rock That Body (Black Eyed Peas)

Rights

2009-12-15T23:10:00.003+08:00

Just cos we're hot/gd-looking does it give us the right to say others are ugly?
Just cos we're smart does it give us the right to say others are stupid?
Just cos we're tall does it give us the right to say others are short?
Just cos we're slim does it give us the right to say others are fat?
Just cos we're rich does it give us the right to say others are poor?
It doesn't.

Just cos we're older than others does it give them the right to say we're old?
Jus cos we hang out alot with the opposite sex does it give others the right to label us playboy/flirt?
Just cos we wear short skirts and high heels does it give others the right to call us prostitutes?
Just cos we had several boyfriends in a year does it give others the right to say we're sluts?
Just cos we wear specs and don have cool spunky hair does it give others the right to label us nerds?
Just cos we're not acutely aware of our surroundings and ongoings does it give others the right to claim that we're dumb?
Just cos we're not friendly does it give others the right to say that we're arrogant?
It doesn't.

Quit Labelling. And narrow perspectives. It does more than just make u look like an ass.

Lie-f

2009-12-11T10:29:00.002+08:00

Sudden deaths are happening all the time. To the very healthy. To the extremely young. No one is spared. It comes at any time. Therefore...

TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO

TELL YOUR LOVED ONES YOU LOVE THEM

AND RESOLVE CONFLICTS WITH THOSE YOU HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST

Life is too short for you to nurse hatred

But its never too short for you to emo :D

MLIRE

2009-12-07T03:47:00.003+08:00

Sux to leave. I don't wanna leave. Not now. SexyBack! I'm close to being Justin Timberlake. So Sien.

Ok Ignore that. Wont geddit.

Summer School. Not a Waste of Time. At all. Course Management is kinda spastic. Gives wrong info and shit abt Clayton transfer. Just like lecturers. Who miss the blatantly obvious facts sometimes.

Been chatting alot with couple of friends lately and numerous interesting issues have cropped up. One of em is the issue of saying goodbye to friends. Of course personally, I'd want to have some friends FOR LIFE, but reality states that this is probably gonna be impossible. Over the years, not all our friends are gonna tread the same path we do, and do the same things we do. Each has his/her own life to live, one we may not be destined to be a part of. Parting ways and saying goodbye is gonna be hard and painful, especially with those we are really close with. So is it logical that we conciously not be so close with them, to ease the pain when the day arrives where we bid our goodbyes and never see em again? Probably not. But its just food for thought. One fren's had alot of pain to deal with of late. Having to say goodbye to her boyfren AND girlfren (close girl fren) back to back. Double blow.

Being nice to others has always been an issue for alot of ppl, and it has been especially for me. Of course, kindness should be unconditional, like parents' love to their children. BUT, being nice starts coming at a price once people take advantage of it. So next time you contemplate on whether or not to be nice to someone, just ponder and think if that person would do the same for you- if that person would do that same nice deed for you. If you think yes, then do it. If not, then render your kindness elsewhere. It may seem selfish and calculative, but theres really no fun being trampled on and taken advantage of. People will start saying yr selfish, a bitch and etc, but u can never shut ppl up can you-they are alwaes gonna talk. You can't stop them from doing so. Most ppl will only remember that 1 time you screwed up, and forget the other 99 times u were there, and use that 1 time to define you. That aint the way it ought to be, but sadly it is. When Life beats you down, you gotta get back up and take a stand for yourself.

Advice sent in an email:
# When you say "I love you", mean it.
# When you apologize, look the person in the eye.
# Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
# In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
# Don't judge people by their relatives.
# Remember that great love, great friendships and great achievements involve great risks.
# When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
# Remember the 3 Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for your own actions.
# Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
# When you realised that you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
# Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Pretty good I might say. Lol.

Holidays so far have, probably due to lack of activity, triggered lots of rumination and introspection about alot of things, especially the way things are gonna be next sem in March. Some things have already been made clear during the hols. Summer School is actually a blessing in disguise. Too bad I don't usually get blessings. Not even when I sneeze.

+w0 f@C€d

2009-12-03T19:37:00.004+08:00

The first part of this post is gonna be happy hyper jumpy jumper, the second part is gonna be sad bad mad emo. ok i cldn think of another adjective to rhyme with -ad.

WEIRD CONVOS:
* driving in anu's car, listening to "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. anu asks me "hey do u have sex on fire?" i looked shocked and said "no!"

*Ann mixed zappel and coke in her cup. After drinking a bit.. "it tastes like zappel mixed with coke!"

*Lala, Ann, Ash, Nick and myself were eating at Pink. TV shows Leighton Meester's "Somebody to Love" video. Lala yells "eyy she looks like Blair Waldorff!" For those not in the know, Leighton Meester IS Blair Waldorff in Gossip Girl.

*Playing charades. Ashwin points to Aaron tryin to get him to say "boy". Aaron immediately says "buff".

*Ann had a sore throat and says "wont it be nice if thr was a hole in yr throat for all yr food to jus come out." I replied "yeah u have yr ass for that"

*Ann and I have a list of code words and phrases we use wen we converse. One of them was "bringing sexyback". While chatting with Anu at the balcony i tol her what it meant. When we came back inside Ann asked me very confidently thinking Anu didnt know "so did u bring sexyback?". Anu, very coolly says "I know what it means".

Anu and Nick's bday celebration was pretty awesome. usual drinkin and games. lotsa luffs and shit. even wen everyone was dead the fun never died. kinda glad cos managed to get sth off me chest too :D i may not be sexy but im sure as hell tryna bring it back ;)

OK. NOW THE SECOND PART.
Results are out. And as expected its damn disappointing. What i din expect tho is scoring HIGHEST for the TOUGHEST paper and SCREWIN UP the EASIEST paper. On the whole perhaps some might say the results ive obtained are good etc but personally its just very disappointing. im glad for those who did well (getting 3 hds and stuff), but still cant shake of this bloody disappointing feeling. and then thrs those whose worst fears materialised- discovering they failed certain papers. Fuck. What happens now? Don't think can transfer to Aus anymore. so much for making that an issue. Sigh. Life sux and its unfair. When it gives you a lemon and u try to make lemonade from it, pee comes out. Or in the selfish perspective, if life gives u a lemonade, u ask for one more. ok now i dun even know my point.

Hols are kinda ruined. Next sem is gonna be diff. I dunno how but I jus know it is gonna be. One things for sure, I definitely need to work harder, cos obviously how much i studied this sem is not enuf. bloody hell. Should I continue playing Mr Nice Guy next sem? or fuck everyone off and jus focus on myself cos clearly playing the good guy is helping others and not myself. But Ann pointed out the fact that no matter how hard I try to not be nice, i alwaes fail cos its jus who I am. Damn. 3 months to heal. Gonna be a long time. If oni I cld hibernate and wake up a week b4 march, but tts impossible. don really know wad to do for hols now. dun have d mood for anything anymore. ok perhaps im being tad whiny and complaining too much. oh well. wen life gives me lemons i jus throw it back in its face. Again, I dunno my point.

On a completely diff note, its amazing how some random person u do not know at all can turn out to be EXACTLY like you. Was readin this person's blog and each post just made me go "F*CK!" cos that person was like a clone of me. or maybe i was a clone of that person. and i thot i was the only one who was on the emo roller coaster ride. LOL. tho it does not affect me in any way it kinda pleases me. random.

Random Mumbo Jumbo with a tinge of Introspection

2009-11-29T16:18:00.003+08:00

Ok pardon the title. Not that anything would happen if you don't pardon it.

I've realised that watching teen dramas (altho im no longer a teen) is not just a waste of time and not just for pure entertainment. It could actually be pretty educational. Especially One Tree Hill. Not only can you actually relate to alot of instances in the show, it actually gets you thinking about alot of important stuff (evident from my previous post). Teaches you about life, love, family and friends. Ultimately alot of dramas nowadays revolve around these but we cant relate to all of em (hello...90210 and Gossip Girl, who d heck are rich like em???). Altho we CAN learn some stuff. Like Serena telling Nate not to tell the truth if the truth is gonna hurt somebody. Ok I dunno which is more gay. The fact Im quoting Gossip Girl or the fact I can even remember it. Or the fact i watch it. Well one thing I learnt from watching 6 seasons of OTH is that friendship is really important, and sometimes, when your parents are annoying assholes who don't treat you like proper children (or adults), your friends can be an "escape" route, for they are the ones who 'replace' the role of yr parents - provide moral and emotional support etc.

Speakin of parents, its funny how they are the ONLY ones in a conventional family not related by blood. LOL. ok random thought.

Looking back at below's post, I think what makes one close to another is NOT the number of facts we know abt the person [you may know everything about them, but if you can't "be a friend" to them, thats not being close. Just cos you know everything about your tutor doesnt make him/her a close friend, does it?]. It MAY BE the frequency of how much you hang out with them [the more times you hang out with them, chances are you will converse etc, but again that depends on what the conversation actually revolves around (superficial or deep), and what 'hanging out' actually means]. I think its the ease with which we can talk to that person about anything at any time that best defines how close we are to that person. Doesnt matter if they really hang out or you dont know every single detail of their life, but if you can talk to that person about anything at any time, chances are you will be closer. You can hang out daily and know everything about them, but if you cant hold a conversation with that person, that's not being close, is it. Case in point: Exam period was really hectic and I'd not hung out with anyone, especially a certain Miss T (since she calls me Fsspold man, Ive to think of a code name for her. and Good Girl Gone Bad Gone Terrible blah blah blah seems freakin ages ago. and too long). Anyway, we'd not hung out for months and after exams we finally had the chance to meet up and talk. Spent 6 bloody hours at MacD AC chit chatting abt everything and anything. THAT'S what I call a close friend. Though we rarely hang out, and I don know every single detail of that person's life, we can still talk easily :) At least in my opinion lah. I may be wrong, so....

Approx 2 weeks of holidays gone, another 13 weeks to go. And I'm already sick of hols, no thanks to the stupid circumstances and situations I've to face and been placed in.

Current Songs: Yáng Guāng Zhái Nán (Jay Chou), Bad Romance, Telephone (Lady Gaga), Secrets (OneRepublic), One Time (Justin Bieber), Shut It Down (Pitbull Feat. Akon), Outta My Head (Leona Lewis), 活著 (Jam Hsiao), Tik Tok (Ke$ha), Somebody To Love (Leighton Meester Feat. Robin Thicke), Wait Your Turn (Rihanna).
Don't ask y I have chinese songs or y i listen to em. I may not know wad d heck the songs are abt but the melody and tune is nice so thats reason enuf to listen to em. lol.

introspection

2009-11-25T21:59:00.003+08:00

What provides us with the ability to claim that we are close to somebody? That we can say "oh yeah he/she's my close friend" or "nah im not close to that person at all".
What exactly defines closeness?
Is it assessed by the number of facts we know about that person? Their deepest secret, fear, favourite food, hobby etc?
Or perhaps the amount of time spent hanging out with them. Until we know their routines etc.
Or is it judged by the ease in which we can talk to them about anything at any time, no matter how trivial or significant, disturbing or embarrassing, sad or funny.

There comes a time when every life goes off course. Pretty sure its happened once. Could be minor, or major. In this desperate moment, we need to make decisions that determine the direction we're headed. Should we fight and get our lives back on track?Let others make decisions for us? Will we be haunted by these choices we make for ourselves, and regret them later in life? Each day marks a new beginning, where we can move forward, or simply give up.

Choices we make should not lead to regret. Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes its small, like when we do something wrong for a good reason, but yet it still goes against what we believe. Some are bigger, like when we betray a friend and let them down. But sometimes, we escape the pangs of regret by making the right choices. In those times where we don't, we need to fight to come to terms with the past, and all our choices that had defined that very moments. And other times, we simply bury our regrets by promising ourselves to change our ways for the better.

Life comes at us all the time, and at times we may struggle to find the courage to face it. Do we have someone we can depend on when we're too weak to depend on ourselves? Someone to watch over us when we stumble and fall, and in that instance, give us the courage we need to pick ourselves up and carry on with what life has to offer.
=============================================

Have you ever had a dream so real, that when you woke up you didn't know what to believe? What you would do if what you thought was true wasn't, and what you thought wasn't true was? Was there an intention for the dream you had? Like a warning, or message? Your conscience taking charge of your mind. Dreams of your friends dying, fighting with friends, at times completely incomprehensible that the mind does not know what to make of it. But yet the clarity of the dream still lingers long after it happened. Dreams of intruders breaking into your house, and in the process beating you senseless you land in a coma. Or being hunted by a killer and chased through dark places until he shoots you in the face and you drop dead. Dreams of failing a major exam, and being forced to retake it. Are dreams a warning of what is to come in the future? Or did they occur because of bitter or sweet experiences we had faced in the past?

Nostalgia!

2009-11-14T23:07:00.005+08:00

This is what I've learnt from the 4 subjects Ive taken in my first sem in Monash:

Accounts: Just earning money is not enough. You need to know how to manage them as well.
Econs: A market just isnt the same anymore. you know, the one selling vegetables, poultry etc...
Management: A manager can be anyone in charge of a group of people. But lecturers in Monash can never be one cos they suck at everything.
Biz Stats: Timelines exist in personal life. The trend and cycle that had been occuring since my high school days. In high school, whenever the birthdays of my close social circle approached, some retarded big fight will occur. In Mufy/Monash, whenever hols approached, there'll be some kinda big/small argument/fight with my close fren. LOL. wtf. why m i so spastic?

Exams are finally over but Im not awashed with some giant euphoric feeling of joy. Maybe its the fact I know I didnt to my best for all papers, or the fact Im just tired. [Its NOT cos I cant study anymore. LOL].

Finally went to AC after forever with Gary, PW, Reb, Thanu, Vic & Gavin after Pyramid. How we managed to squeeze in PW's car was beyond me. Kinda gotten close wif these buncha ppl after few weeks of studying and chilling together. And Ann. Lala, Ashwin, Anna and tt whole bunch were also in AC. LOL. Old times, good times. Ann thrashed me in pool. obviously. cos shes been playin a lot and the last time i held a stick in my hand to hit balls [;)] was in July i tink.
Anywaes i find it weird tt ppl say the current frens i hang out wif are my "new" clique. they are jus another grp of frens. jus cos i hang out wif em more recently doesnt mean i forget my other frens.

After AC went back to Sun-U Condo cos Reb, PW n Gary needed a change of clothes. went to poolside to chill. Damn i miss swimming! Despite the unhappy moments thr, kinda miss condo too. Reminded me of my time in MUFY. pool looked damn tempting. but all in all the whole place felt rather alien. the guards were still a bitch tho. somethings never change.

Went for dinner at Tahir's place. He Pooja Ian apparently were cooking dinner and darn it was good. Hung there for a long while, then went to Macd since i owed ppl treats. Kena irritated by a bunch of Indian kids who were scaring the hell out of Reb and PW. bloody assholic kids. Hung out at my place, went to some really fantastic mamak, took a short rest back at Tahir's before finally leaving to KLIA ard 545am to send Pooja off. Met shane and elisha thr. Pretty emotional moment when they had to leave. And the stupid banner "We Make It Hard to Say Goodbye" didnt help one bit. Finally came home ard 10-11am.

More outings tmr, monday, tuesday. dunno wen to go back. Im not gonna lie when i say I will miss Sunway. ok not the place but the ppl. 3 months is long, and a lot can happen in 3 months. But i guess this is where everyone goes back to their pre-Sunway lives. whatever that means. Lets jus see wad happens in March 2010. Till then, goodnight Monash, goodbye Sunway and hopefully I'll set foot here in 3 months time. Dunno what the 3 months will hold for me. Doubt itll be good tho. As always.

realised this is the first time ive blogged 'traditionally' in a long long while. lol.

Hide and Seek

2009-11-11T22:34:00.004+08:00

PLAGIARISM in ANY way shd be f*cking abolished! and i aint jus referring abt those in educational institutions.
Im insanely jealous. of them. sigh.
2 days to 3months of freedom.
I shd get shot. By myself. I am my own weakest link. Goodbye.

* I had a friend request from this South African girl I din know. I dun usually accept requests from unknowns, but I accepted her cos she was hot. After I did my friend count went down my one. MLIA.

* I was browsing thru my fren's page when I saw that he had 2 frens whose names were freakin similar to mine and a fren's. Ahmad Syalabi and Bek JunHao. WTF!

* Been studying like a man possessed for months now. Come exam time, I forgot EVERYTHING and was forced to crap. Furthermore, there's a high possibility I may even fail the darn paper. Studying so much and failing? I did say I may end up being the laughing stock of the entire Monash U. FML.

* Met Anu in Sunway Coll to study. Classroom was cool, and I tol her its fine. After a while it got warm and she said I cld adjust the aircon if i wanted. The aircon was never on in the first place. LOL.

* Was readin Econs tutorial questions. Ended up reading all the crap I had doodled on the paper instead. LOL.

* Took a pill to stay awake the whole night. Finally lived up to my "reputation" of being a junkie. LOL.

* Currently at a friend's place. He shall not be named to protect his identity.
Me: I wanna go back.
Him: Cannot.
Me: Why cannot go back?
Him: Cos u have an obligation.
Me: What obligation?
Him: An obligation...which you must oblige! =.=
.................................
Him: I can't start on a new topic in the evening or night. I need to eat first or sth.
Me: So when u plan to start? Tomorrow?
Him: Have to start asap lah, maybe tonight. =.=
.................................
Theres so much more I can write but Im not gonna reveal anymore lah. need to protect his privacy. BUT there was this "take it out" incident which was so hilarious but I cant talk about it cos its R21. HAHA. lame.

The trend of the exams so far has been:

Accounts: Shit cos all their questions were so rojak and encrypted with some sort of accounting spell that we cldn answer cos we din even know how to decipher them.
Econs: Honestly, the paper was easy. BUT. I blanked out and forgot everything. Damn!
Management: The paper was ok. What I thot would be tested came out. And I had focused on them. BUT. again. I spaced out. and couldnt recall what I studied. On top of that I din even finish the paper. bye bye 30 marks. bye bye pass? dun even mention HD.
Biz Stats: on friday. and i dunno why im blogging. instead of studying.

Ok this is random but u gotta listen to Owl City. He is the shit! His songs are catchy yet calming without being so mainstream. Kinda like Secondhand Serenade but not so "gay" lah.
I feel damn dirty. Wearing the same clothes over and over again.
Can't wait for Friday. Gonna freak out! Yes, I said freak out. no more STUDYING. no more EMO. no more crap. [ok i feel stupid talking to myself].

I shd go do sth more productive. Like studying.

FUCK YOU MONASH FUCK YOU!!!

2009-11-04T22:28:00.002+08:00

ANGER. FRUSTRATION. DISAPPOINTMENT. BUT MAINLY REGRET.
seething with rage. all the energy, the time, the effort. the sleep sacrificed. all my drive to study has been destroyed. i dont see the point of trying so hard anymore. all the input, and no output. i may be overreacting. but still. all those weeks feverishly revising, practicing, consulting tutors. for what fuck?! im seriously at a point of breaking down. you may go WTF? or tell me to quit complaining, but yeah maybe u dunno how it feels. maybe you do. why the fuck do u test us on things we were not taught? ppl may just brush it off and "move on". well i cant. yeah its jus one paper but all that effort for nothing. so bad i actually left questions blank. this fuckin sux to the max. maybe i shdve jus enjoyed myself and not studied in the first place. guess i was right after all. i m the biggest joke. fuck u monash. fuck u. fuck myself.

I can only fear the worst for Econs, Management and Biz Stats now.

Trouble is a Friend of Mine

2009-10-31T21:35:00.009+08:00

Try this. It's supposed to work....

1) Think of your favourite number

2) Think of someone of the same sex

3) Think of someone of the opposite sex

4) Pick one out of dog, cat, tiger, snake

5) Pick one out of blue, red, white, green

1) The number you chose is supposedly the number of real close friends you'll have in life.

2) This is your closest/best friend.

3) This is the person you have a crush on/like/are currently with. [2 and 3 may intertwine]

4) This is a general analysis of how you view relationships.

Dog = You are extremely loyal when it comes to relationships and friendships. You place high importance on your relationships with your loved ones. You put them ahead of a lot of things and go all out not to jeapordise them. You love them alot and will do anything for them.

Cat = You are selective when it comes to picking your friends. You have different 'levels' of proximity with them; you don't trust all of them and are not close with all of them. They form your social circle for the sake of, and they rarely get close to you. Only because you rarely let them.

Tiger = You are very protective of your friends. You will defend them at all means but you are not necessarily close with them. You just need them when the time arises, and thats when you look for them. You prefer to be alone most of the time.

Snake = You place little value on friendships and relationships. You are generally manipulative, and you use your friends for your own advantage without taking their feelings or the consequences of your actions into consideration. You are not afraid to trample on anyone for the sake of reaching whatever intentions you have.

5) This is a general analysis of your character

Blue = You are relatively cool, not in physique but in mannerisms. You are not generally open, and tend to be introverted alot. However, with the correct people, you can turn around and let them in. You hate conflicts, and when one arises, you will do whatever it takes to resolve it as you do not want it to drag further. You may have little consideration of others' emotions, as you may let out little outbursts every now and then.

Red = You are very tempremental. Little things irk you easily and you lose your cool at the smallest of incidents. You get mad when things dont go your way and you tend to blast off at people, even when they are not involved. However, you are also passionate and emotional when it comes to relationships. You care for people that matter alot. You are strong willed and focused at achieving whatever goal you want to pursue.

White = You are the proverbial "good guy"; you dislike conflicts, you try your very best to please everyone, you tend to keep to yourself and shun from the "spotlight". You rarely lose your cool, and you have a very matured perception on life. You may not care for everyone around you, but you do not hate them as well; you are neutral.

Green = You are a nature lover; you like the environment and animals. You are sensitive to the needs of others and you are calm and collected, more often than not. You are also laidback, sometimes lacking focus and direction in life. You need others to push you before you start doing something. You are generally in tune with your social life and family. You do not get affected by problems easily.

*these are just the main analysis of behaviour. of course it does not define accurately one single individual, who is most probably a mixture of behaviours. This just portrays the dominant characteristics.

ŔάŋĐ¤M

2009-10-23T21:54:00.013+08:00

= Finally went out with Oscar. Didn't know he was with his gf. Die. Gonna feel like a lamppost. He speaks mandarin with his gf. I've always hated that feeling. Die. Surprisingly I felt the most unlamppost-y during the outing and it was fun. Potential double lamppost situation avoided.

= After meeting Oscar, I decided to walk back home. It drizzled, then rained heavily. By the time I got back I was soaked. And the rain stopped.

= I tried putting my phone in my pocket. Then I realised I was wearing my boxers.

= I woke up at 7am, rushed to uni at 9am for an 830am lecture, supposed to end at 10am, but ended at 915am. I took longer getting ready than the lecture itself.

= I used liquid paper to correct a word I wrote wrongly. After it dried I wrote the same wrong word.

= A friend postponed her flight back to her hometown, supposedly because of me. I finally felt important in someone's life.

= The last day of sem was all I could ask for. Finally doing well for management, getting good grades for econs and having a blast after uni.

*********************************************
Shaheen wants to know:

#Why ppl in sunway drive like crazy bitches, speeding like shit even in the tightest of spaces.

# Why the inventor of the MGW1010 exam is so spastic. If they know from experience that students can hardly finish the paper, why allocate so little time? Isn't the purpose of this exam to test our knowledge and understanding of the subject and not our speed-writing skills?

# Why some people are complete assholes. Or pussies.

# Why he just can never be neutral at some point, and towards certain issues.

# Why he always has dreams of his friends dying.

# Why the hell he is speaking as a 3rd person about himself.

*********************************************
I am on the verge of being the biggest laughing stock in the entire Monash University. Why? Cos I've been studying so friggin much, so much that Im so nerd that even a nerd would laugh at me (sorry to all "nerds"), that everyone is expecting me to ace the exams, and Ive a lil feeling that Im gonna implode during the exams and flunk. And everyones gonna luff at me for studying so hard for nothing. damn.
Tutorials finally ended. One full week to revise and competely finish everything. and i hope I can. tahan another 21 more days, and I have 3 months plus to freak out. but cant tink of that as of now. Sien.

GOALS: To complete revision for Management and Business & Economic Stats and re-revision for Accounts and Econs.

Planning: Specific Plans with strict adherence to created timelines and division of work.

ORGANISING: Divisional Structure of time and effort. Both must be coordinated to accomplish the specific tasks of assigned chapters of managements.

MOTIVATING:

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

Physiological Needs: nice food and enough sleep

Safety Needs: Security and Protection from emotional scarring of studying too much

Social Needs: Occasional outings to relax mind

Esteem needs: Be glad in the knowledge hard work wont be futile

Self-actualisation Needs: Achieving my potential and realising all this will aid in exams

CONTROLLING: Bureaucratic control with rigid rules implemented for me to follow to not divert from the tasks that is to study and complete assigned chapters.

OMFG see how much management has already screwed me up. Last time was econs tt i kept applying to daily life and now its management. Im in need of serious help. My brain is going dead, my eyes are failing to function properly and my other senses seek to refuse cooperation. Haih. Ive blown so many ppl off cos Ive been studying like crazy and hence Ive pissed them off. Jus try to understand aite. I got exams coming up, you ppl may/may not have exams I dunno. Wadever u wanna do with yr time is up to u but i need to study, so don get pissed off/upset I cant go out. I WANT to, but i CANNOT. Understand those two terms before u launch into some verbal/emotional tirade of anger or sorrow. Other than studies I have my own shits to deal with so lay off. Uve probably seen me being tad diff these past few days and tts purely cos of exam stress so jus tahan a bit more. If u cant then i got nothin more to say. ("you" refer generally not specific).

Seems that of late I've "shifted" out of my own room and conquered the hall. Made it my own and turned it into one giant mess of all my studying shit.

Anu's econs mcq test sheet. cldn stop laughing at this. But feel damn proud of her for her Econs Ass 2. She beat all us supposed "smarties" in econs. Not to say shes not smart. She jus isnt 'experienced' as us, i supose. Congrats Minachi. :) So very globoldolic of you. Today's been a good day on the whole. Need to prepare for the very hellacious week ahead, by which all revision shdve been completed.
Din realise this so called random post wd be so long. But it was random! LOL.

Insecurities

2009-10-16T23:04:00.003+08:00

Insecurities exist EVERYTIME and EVERYWHERE. theres just no escaping it. even the most superconfident of ppl will have some sort of insecurity within them. they just mask it and don show it. wen yr in primary school [7-12], ull wanna make frens, and face the fear of not havin frens or fitting in. In high school its worse. Teen years are perhaps the most complicated phase of one's life. Its like everything's working in tandem to make yr life one giant mess within those 4-5 yrs - wanting to fit in with a clique, insecurity of not being wanted or appreciated, facing acne and feeling insecure abt how u look or wad ppl will think of u, relationship issues, and of cos the fear of that end of year major exams. Ppl say that as u grow older and mature, u tend to lose insecurities. True, yet not exactly. You lose THESE insecurities, as in the ones in yr teenage life, but not insecurities in general. You just face new ones. Graduates are insecure abt job prospects, men are insecure abt retrenchment, wives fear extra marital affairs from their husbands and the elderly face the insecurity of death knockin on their doors. Hence, everyone is insecure in one way or other. Its part of life. Its normal. Just dont let it overwhelm u. I have my insecurities too, and yes sometimes I let em bother me till I go crazy. But now, I'm jus gonna ignore em and focus on studies. Speakin of....

Exams are in 18 days. Yes, 18. Theres so much to do Im afraid I cant cover everything in time. Furthermore weve not had the opportunity to practice writing and testing our time management, unlike MUFY. Ppl keep saying ive studied so much i dun need to worry and stuff. What they fail to realise is that i still have to 're-revise' wad ive learnt cos i cant fully rmb every single damn thing from now till the exam period. I have to refresh my memory. So its not like revise then chuck one side till finals. Dunno why we're still having hw, specially management. Sian.

Think I've seriously been studying too much. I can feel my body jus breaking down. Too much lack of sleep. Went Pyramid and WATCHED A MOVIE after dunno how bloody long. Im sucha nerd I dun even know thr were changes to Pyramid. Lol. Felt so good to finally get my mind off studies. Seriously need a friggin rest. Hence for once Im not gonna study on a Friday night. jus gonna rest my body and mind and resume tmr. I foresee if i continue this intense studying lifestyle im gonna break down eventually, like yesterday. Slept at 5 studying accts and woke up at 830. can die like nobodys biz. Shd start takin care of my body. Hence Im gonna sleep early today, and sleep long. So that I can wake up early tmr to study. lol. I seriously have no life.

Watch this vid. It's damn touching. Its about a love between a lion and 2 men.

[Current mood: really really tired]
[Current songs:
Broken hearted girl - beyonce
3 - britney spears
Meet me halfway - black eyed peas
Rule of the world - evermore
Sexy Bitch - david guetta feat akon]

My Life is Globoldolic

2009-10-12T20:10:00.002+08:00

dun even ask wad globoldolic is. because 1) its an inside thing. 2) i myself dun even know the meaning.

had a very very weird dream last few days. involved one very very very close fren of mine. every aspect of the dream was super weird. and he nearly died. why do i alwaes dream abt my frens dying? seriously... aint a gd thing.

= Was at office. Saw a fren. he saw me. he turned away jus as i waved at him. i pretended to stretch my fingers so i din look stupid.

= phil pointed out a potential mistake in our management assignment. i cleared it up with another fren and realised i was right. i double checked with the tutor and realised i was wrong. i had to change my assignment, which was due the next day. i had "finished" it a week ago.

=a fren chatted with me on msn. it was our first time. he asked how i was. i said fine. i asked him the same thing. he said ok. our convo ended.

= i was uploading photos on my blog. the picture was taking abnormally long. then i realised i hadnt pressed the 'upload' button.

= the bus i was in got involved in an accident. i smsed my mom. she called me askin if i was ok. i said kinda. she then asked me wad food i wanted for dinner.

= my younger bro had a personal prob. i spoke to him about it, and later saw him change his msn pm to "...thank god for brothers really". i felt like an older brother for once.

= the net in both homes (sunway and jb) was alwaes screwed up whenever i used it. then i realised it wasnt the wi-fi, but my laptop.

= ive been on a study 'roll' for the past month or so. exams are just ard the corner. ive lost all my momentum and passion to study.

= i realisd that wenever im not in sunway, theres alwaes some sort of party happening. i then tol anu im over that kind of life. she pointed out i never had that kind of life in the first place.

Shaheen has to learn:
- not to be so emo
- not to shriek/speak in a high pitched voice within hearing distance of others
- not to wear berms and sandals in freezing buses
- not to put his ipod on his lap in a speeding bus
- not to study when his laptop is around him
- to accept the consequences of his actions, whether his actions are nice or not.
- to be more assertive
- to try and refocus on studies and not about the social scene

[current mood: hollow, empty]
[current songs:
All the right moves - onerepublic
Sexy bitch - david guetta feat akon
How to save a life - the fray
Te amo - rihanna
Listen to your heart - DHT
I believe in you - il divo & celine dion
Meet me halfway - black eyed peas]

A Very Long Post

2009-10-07T20:42:00.013+08:00

Im puzzled by the term break/holiday wadsoever. its meant for us to relax and rest after all our intense exertions in uni. but apparently educators have other ideas, and decide to pile misery on us during hols by dumping not one but two frackin assgmts. how to enjoy hols like that? haih.. use yr logic yeah..go home and tink abt it (noraini, 2009).

Although break week was inundated with assignments, there was still traces of "holidayness". I got a lot of visits from ppl and kinda went out couple times too.

Nicholas Ivan. Crashed my room so many times. At least he was nice enuf to provide some sort of entertainment. Notice his sexy body. LOL.

Beh Jun Biao. Since I had invaded his "small territory" so many times b4, i guess its only fair for him to invade mine this time. Ever since he invaded my room he made one whole giant mess. lol. but what to do. assignments made everyone go crazy. especially management. notice his sexy legs. LOL.

See? do so much of research until he cant tahan. too tired he jus slept on the floor. quite pitiful lah but bed too messy so no choice.

Mich DJ. came couple times to do accts. kinda fun to have her ard. notice her sexy er, nose? LOL.

Evidence of mess made by JB. ok no lah this was mine. Management can seriously kill all of us like nobody's business. everyday do mgmt from 1/2pm to 4-5 am. no joke weii.

2 ppl struggling with management and this is the ensuing mess.

This was like 4 or 5 am, and this fella is still working hard to finish his assgmt while I was already going to sleep. notice the Qantas logo? LOL.
again...all the mess. bloody few days tt made our lives a living hell...

Well, thkfully, management assgmt is done but not completely dusted. Spent abt 5 days finishing it. Managed to do it b4 my proposed duration of one week. but kinda underestimated how time consuming it wd be on a day to day basis, hence my studies for other subs took a hit. guess gotta study all that backlogged work this week.

Got drunk on monday night. drank too much. apparently i did and said alot of things i shdnt have said. Woke up late on tues. missed accts lecture. of all the lectures to miss i missed a very impt one. damn smart.

So in the end both me and JB went to uni on tues for nothing since we kinda missed all the lectures. so decided to come back suri to complete mgmt and biz stats note takin. went medan to eat and end up watching Titanic. wth. *the scene whr Rose jumps of the lil boat back to the ship cos she cant bare to leave Jack*. Me - so touchin man. her love for him. Nick- sth similar to mine. JB- so stupid ah? LOL.

some random photo of poor JB's leg. kena whacked so hard by Nick for no reason. can actually see four finger marks. LOL.

finally, the last assgmt for the semester is done. but this doesnt mean we can rest. duh. exams are like 27 more days, and i still got so much to study. hopefully my mgmt assgmt is correct. put so much of effort in it. quite proud of JB's assgmt too. really hope we both do well.

stupid management assgmt made me lose my studying momentum, and now its hard for me to regain it. wad a time, with exams comin up. sian.

[Current Mood: pleased, tired.]

[Current Songs:

All the right moves - onerepublic

Crank it up - ashley tisdale

face drop - sean kingston

Hot mess - cobra starship

When love takes over - david guetta

3 - britney spears]

You & I in a diVERSE CITY.

2009-09-30T19:18:00.009+08:00

*6.19pm. Doing Accounts. Felt room shaking. Sat on the bed. Bed was spinning. Thot was my head from studying/onlining too much. Called Nick. He felt it too. Apparently there was a 7.9 earthquake in Sumatra. Woah. My first tremors lol. Pretty cool experience.

Anyway, after a lil bit of "different" posts of late, I've decided to revert to the more traditional route of 'updating' my ongoings. Could get pretty wordy and long...

Week 10 of uni. its break week, thk God. I'm gonna try and surmise my entire 10 weeks in this post. (gasp!). First few weeks were the 'adjustment' period- tryin to adjust from mufy to uni. it was pretty hard. Lectures and tutorials were rather alien. Din know we had to read the unit guides ourselves and do the tutorials corresponding to the weeks, until JB tol me abt it. Tutors and lecturers din say anything. Apparently due to the concept of 'Independent Learning' where we do everything ourselves, including assignments. So from weeks 1-4, I was a blur zombie unawares of what the hell was going on and playing catch up. Tutorials were done by just highlighting the damn book and attempting the questions. After that all info went out my head. Heck this can't be the way to study in uni...

The decisive moment came somewhere in week 5 or 6 where we had simultaneous assignments due, econs and accounts. That prompted me to start on them quickly, and in order to do so, I had to actually STUDY the relevant chapters instead of just completing tutorials for the sake of. So there came my plan on how to actually study...

In MUFY, I kinda made notes for everything (sans English), which was like a detailed summary of our books, and basically studied from there. Initially I thot why not do the same with Uni? After all this method served me well in MUFY. But after seeing the books, Im like hell no. Well, I realised there are lecture notes for every subject. So I decided ok, use that to study instead. JB printed the first lecture notes for me (accts). So after the first lecture, went back to study it. The lecture notes are meant to be concise, but perhaps tad too concise, cos it wasnt that detailed, and I had to refer back to the text. That got me thinking, Why read the notes if its kinda incomplete? If i've to read the textbook, then its as good as studying twice. And I dun have the time or energy to study every chapter of every unit twice. Which was then I decided to go all out and resurrect my MUFY style of studying. So now, after every lecture (without lecture notes), I just listen to what the lecturer says, go back and read that chapter, and make my own notes on it. Then I do the tutorial. Its a longer process, but at least theres information retention. So this is how I've been studying for the past 4-5 weeks. Call me crazy/nerdy, but studying's kinda been the only activity I've been doing of late. It's like an addiction. I've not gone out for bloody long, and my social life has been very stagnant. A senior once told me in uni, u'll face a trade-off between yr social life and yr studies. If you wanna excel, you gotta cut down alot on yr social life. You wanna keep your social life, your studies will suffer. From wat I've experienced so far, her words seem to hold some truth to it. Alot actually.

Well, as mentioned earlier, break is here. Finally. After a very stressful week [studies, assignments and fights]. It's retarded, but the happiest I am about this break is that I finally have the time to catch up and revise all chapters I din really understand earlier. Only prob is the 2 assignments that I gotta do as well. And this is where I became most freaky. I actually made a daily plan of all the work I would for the break period. Kinda helps me keep track and maintain my focus so I don't stray off.

Accounts

Chapters 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, ~~tutorial 10~~

~~Assignment 2~~

Econs

Chapters 10, 11, 14, 21

Business Econs Stats

Topic 1

Management

Assignment 2:

~~Print and read 7 articles~~

Title Page

Table of Contents

~~Executive Summary~~

Introduction

Report

Conclusion & Recommendation

References

Appendix

So this is what I plan to accomplish during break. I know, Im sucha nerd. So far progress looks ok. Just that certain unforeseen circumstances might cause my daily plans to go off track. Like today. FINALLY WENT OUT. after a month i tink. relived old times with anu and lala. hit pyramid. it was fun, just like old times. One year on, Im still old, lala is still blur (AND CLUMSY) and anu is ~~fat~~ well, anu. There shd be more of today.

I guess this 'lifestyle' could suit me- making studies my main priority and spending most of my time just concentrating on studies. Yeah we shd have a balance right, study and play. But there just seems to be so much drama on a daily basis. How to play? So instead of worrying about all that, might as well just spend the time and energy studying. I dun care if I'm labelled a nerd or wadever, as long as it helps me get good grades for uni. Dang Ive never studied so bloody much in my life for consecutive weeks. So proud of myself. Lol so perasan.

Study at my table...

Study on my bed

And even on my floor. Thats how much of a nerd I've turned into.

See how much studies ruin our health? Poor anu study so much till she had to sleep in the library.

Would be good to take a break too though. Sigh. Just one thing annoying me is food. In uni its just cafeteria food, which is overpriced and underquality. And now durin hols, its the same prob each day. What to eat. Mamak, Pyramid, fast food. Sigh. It's expensive and Im gettin sick of it. I need to go back home. Bloody assignments. Lets see what next week has in store for us all.

(if u managed to make it through this post up to this point, and ur brain dead, dun say I din warn u)

F*ck, My Life Is Average

2009-09-27T17:30:00.006+08:00

. I added a girl I liked on Facebook. So did my friend. She accepted his request. She rejected mine.

. Anu and I saw a poster of this malay guy in uni. I said "he looks just like a typical malay Singaporean". Anu replied "Most malays in Singapore look like that?" I said "no".

. I decided not to go back during the break cos I have 2 assignments due the week after and I "may have to go to the library to print stuff I need for my assignments". Found out library will be closed during break.

. Anu asked me to talk to Aaron on the phone. She passed it to me. I said "hello?". The phone was still ringing.

. I've been doing my Econs tutorials every week without fail. The only one time I did not (due to bloody management), I got picked to answer a question, which I obviously couldnt answer.

. I brought all my textbooks on Friday for tutorials. After reaching the first class I realised I left them in Anu's car.

. I left my ipod on the toilet shelf and nearly knocked it down. I shrieked in a high pitched voice. It's ok cos no one heard.

. I was doing management homework with Anu in Shimi's place. He tripped my laptop wire and it unplugged. It's ok cos I was using battery.

. Anu had 4 notifications on Facebook for the day. I had 51. I felt popular.

. After 2 successive weeks of sleeping 3-4 hours a day, I was in desperate need of sleep. Went back and decided to sleep immediately. Friends decided to call me at that precise moment.

. I have the room to myself for a week, for once. I thought of all the privacy I could get, then realised I was happiest at the thought of being able to study peacefully.

. This girl in our biz stats class walked past me, anu and ann. She smiled at who I presumed to be was anu, so I din do anything. Anu din do anything cos she claimed she din know the girl. The girl must either feel very embarrassed, or tink that Anu and I are stuck up bitches.

. I realised I'm in need of more female friends on facebook, but more male friends in real life.

. I had just made up with a friend after a big fight. We were having lunch and the mood was still pretty awkward. I suddenly thought of an inside joke and tried to stifle my laughter. I ended up making weird noises through my nose.

. Went to the bookshop to buy chocs. There was a long queue of ppl wanting to bind their assignments, so all the staff were busy and there was no one at the counter. I felt stupid waiting, so I pretended to text.

[current mood = satisfied]
[current song(s)
= it's alright, it's ok (ashley tisdale)
= sex on fire (kings of leon)
= use somebody (kings of leon)
= happy (leona lewis)
= evacuate the dancefloor (cascada)
= run this town (jay-z)]

分裂 / 离开

2009-09-21T19:02:00.012+08:00

Dear God,
It does seem that all good things do come to an end after all. Right now, I hate this part; I hate the sound of silence, it makes my mind go into disturbia. Hell no I'm not having the time of my life. I gotta feeling that uni is like a battlefield or circus, a boulevard of broken dreams, but never a funhouse - it's like an invitation that screams 'Welcome to the Black Parade'. We don't know who has a poker face, and who's the hero/heroine. All these rumours that are rollin' from supposed 'paparazzi' have to stop; don't turn this into a public affair ok. If I had 21 guns I'll shoot you busybodies senseless, but they'll say you have to know your enemy first. But we are human after all, not superhuman, and no one wears a halo; none of us are an angel. I planned to breakaway, say goodbye, and go M.I.A., escape to somewhere I belong. Who knew that what goes around comes around, that in the end, karma would bite me so hard? I'm hatin' on the club, and I so wanna get out of this club, but it seems like I'm just dead and gone. I wanna evacuate the dancefloor and just dance, tell myself it's alright, it's ok, but I know it's not. I'm going under, and someone, who knows how to save a life, needs to bring me to life. I always apologize, and I said never again, but oops... I did it again. Why am I so complicated? Maybe it's just the way I are. Perhaps I should ring the alarm and just listen, since this is a friggin wake up call for me. What about now? Now that he's already gone, it's easy to say that my life would suck without you, you being a stranger. I won't go deeper, or people will tell me "ur so gay". Our friendship has been damaged; we are broken strings. Can it be repaired one step at a time? Or is it too little too late? Keeps getting better and better in time? I hate this new divide, but really, it's no surprise. I shouldn't bottle it up; I should have come clean with the reason instead of my wordplay. My hot n cold attitude always gives you hell amidst claims that you use somebody. He is so sick of it, saying "eh eh there's nothing else I can say", telling himself don't trust me and don't waste your time. Just so you know, I'm tired of being sorry, but, sorry, blame it on me. This is the purest of pain, that everything gets harder everyday and it cuts like a knife. Then it's about a girl, miss independent, the supposed good girl gone bad who's daddy's little girl. People wonder about that girl; she's beautiful, but they can't decode her because these words are unwritten. She's just screaming "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, I just wanna live", but nobody understands. Big girls don't cry, and cry she doesn't, but she has to choose between labels or love. She's not like most girls; she'll say "leave me alone" although her heart says "i'm lonely". Others, like lala, nick and anu, who know my dirty little secret(s), ask me to shake it off or keep holding on, cause they don't want me to fall to pieces. But for how long? Until the end of time? Am I just chasing cars or chasing pavements? If there's an answer, give it to me. Thanks God.

*name all the singers of the songs and I shall treat you to an above-average meal. LOL.

Fuck (Insert Name Here)'s Life

2009-09-19T19:42:00.004+08:00

=I finished an assignment that usually takes a few days in 5-7 hours. I felt proud of myself. Then I realised I did it wrongly. FML.

=After finally completing the assignment, i brought my pendrive to uni to print. I didn't save the correct file. FML

=Person S spent the whole night driving around and when he came home he found his dad smartly dressed in front of his computer. He didn't realise it was his dad's birthday. His dad had waited to have dinner with him. FS'sDad'sL.

=Person J was making weird "1,2" signals to Person A. Person A responded with the same signals, without getting it. This went on for a while, until Person A realised Person J was talking to someone behind her. FA'sL

=Person N had wanted to pay the electricity bill for some time, just that the money hadn't been collected. After finally getting the money, he went to Pyramid to pay. He then realised he forgot to bring the bill. FN'sL

=My younger bro warned me to have some sort of entertainment during the Hari Raya trip to Spore, citing the jam. I told him I've my ipod, which I listen to all the time. Upon returning home I realised my battery was low, and I forgot to bring the cable back home. FML.

=Person T went to Econs class in the hopes of seeing a cute boy. She sat herself where he usually sat, with an empty seat beside her. Not only did someone else sit beside her, but the cute boy did not show up. FT'sL.

=Person N blogged about Person T about her 'change'. Person T read about it, got upset and cleared things up with Person N. I blogged about Person B, stating issues I had. He read it, became pissed and subsequently ended our friendship. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFML

The End of a Friendship, the Beginning of Love

2009-09-15T20:02:00.004+08:00

In the midst of this emotional turmoil at having to deal with one of the most hurtful and painful phases that had unexpectedly [or maybe expectedly?] occured [which I'm so hoping can be cleared though the pessimist in me say that this time it's over for good], I came across a very insightful note that ought to turn u guys a lil more introspective and think for a bit. It's very wordy, and it can give u a headache at first glance, but if u bother, u will find it to be very meaningful.

"Funny how life works out, we're preached about destiny,fate, religion, morals etc. But really life doesnt just work out does it? Maybe life really is what we make of it, what you lose.. what you gain.. it's all due to a choice you made either now or a long time ago. We like to claim how people change over the years, but do they really? We might change how we look on the outside but arent we still the same on the inside? Does it mean that cause we're all different from each other that we have to use it as a reason to not like each other? Maybe its just the environment we live in, maybe its just human mentality, maybe its just that we overthink whats right and whats wrong too much. It's a lovely sunday morning, as i look out the window i see the lil kids swimming in the pool, the old aunty and uncle having a walk around the condo.. The mother and father pushing their kid on the swing. Look out the window, but clear your mind before you do that. Just have a look around.. Maybe youll see that life isnt as bad as you think it is. Maybe youll figure that maybe one day when you grow up youll have the answer to all your questions. Maybe, youve just been looking in the wrong places for those answers. Maybe one day you;ll appreciate what you have. Maybe, just maybe..only.. maybe.. Will you realise that, what really matters is never ever giving up. We meet lots of people along the way, some of whom we never see again and some who we never ever dare to imagine never seeing again. All of us have people who mean tons to us, we gotta hold them close, cuz when all else comes crashin down we know, that they'll still be there for us, helping us get through it as best as they can. I never really thanked my lucky star for the amazing friends that i have without whom id be so lost. Have you ever really sat down and thought where youd be without them? haha all those times at kfc/macs.. all the times theyve come over and youve went over to their crib, the times when you did the arab money dance haha, carrying your drunk friend everywhere to find him a place to crash, chilling at fort canning looking up at the sky, all the times u decided to be a typical mat and slack under a void deck hahha, those times when u look over to your friend trying to blow smoke rings with sheesha haha and thinking hes super cool cause hes the " ringmastaaaa", ALL THOSE TIMES YOU CAMWHORED EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE!!!!! (\m/) but most importantly all those times when you were just together, smiling and laughing. If you love someone stay true to it if you really believe in what you have, cause love isnt just about being with that person, its not about how much you see each other, the number of gifs you buy them, its not abt wht goes on behind cloosed doors, i believe its about having someone that you know, you can be totally helpless with. Love's about the small little things like when you look in that persons eyes n see your reflection, its that feeling you get when when that persons in your arms, love is about.. just wanting the be the best you can be for the other person and love is also about sacrifice. I think i finally know what that sacrifice means, its about not holding the other person back from the best he/she can be. Its about letting go when you have to and holding them tight when you need to.. because no matter how far that person may be from you, theyre still thinking about you, holding their pillow.. wishing that you were there too. W're never alone, theres always someone out there thinking of you. Cherish every moment youve had or have with that person and hold it close to your heart , because no matter what love has a way of finding its way back to you just as long as you have faith in each other."

Certain things may not apply to you[like the camwhoring/arab money dance etc], but the essence of this post shd still get u ppl thinking.
Written by Immy YoursTruly Sexcy [some dude]. Used without permission.

Stupid Stupid Stupid

2009-09-08T17:02:00.005+08:00

Things were hectic. Became calm. And its about to get hectic again. And I'm not just talkin abt studies. Get to that later. I just realised I'm perhaps the single biggest idiot in the whole of Monash, if not the world. Time and time again I keep making the same mistakes. What's a confused young adult to do in a situation where he loses on both fronts? I dun mind helping people. Just don use me. I hate it. I've been guilty of it myself. I've stopped. You ppl shd too. Its sickening beyond description. The number of ppl Ive never spoken to in my life suddenly smsing/calling/msning demanding for my econs/accts assignments. WTF. Like I said I dont mind helping. At least help yourself first.

Realisation sunk in yesterday while studying management. Something that had caused a lot of discomfort in my mind for months finally hit me last night. The difference between real and fake. Well my lil ignorant-emo stint only served to cause hurt and unnecessary anguish. But I doubt it'll ever end. Not cos of me this time. It's tiring to be used. Actions speak louder than words. Words can lie. Actions rarely. I'm not gonna be blasting off at ppl anymore. Its lame and just childish, I realised. But I've kinda lost myself already. And it's hard to find myself back. Only certain ppl can see how I was before. Lame, Hyper, Retarded.That so called "emotional connection". Not cause they earned it, or that they deserve to. Hell, I aint some mighty Lord. Its just cause it is. I've tried too hard. Mentioned it once. Convinced myself it was real. That you were real. But I guess it was pretty much a lie. Damn why am I so emo???????

Nick once said "You cant keep depending on frens. Soon theyll start having their own lives and theyre gonna leave, and then youll be all alone."
True that. I try to bliv that certain frens will last, that they can somehow end up as lifelong frens, but i know it wont happen, and I dun bliv Ill ever get married. Im destined to live a sad lonely life lol. Maybe the path is already set. Kinda feelin it now already.

Anu said "Whats the point of scoring so high in MUFY? Its the score in uni that counts, right?"
True that as well. I may have scored so darn high in MUFY but in uni im being owned like nobody's business. Failed first biz stats "test" and barely passed econs assignment 1.

But I guess this is one area the onus is on me to change the current situation. I cant change how people behave, or how they treat you, but I can change how I'm faring in my studies. Ive no idea if its seeing Ian's constant Facebook stats abt him being a supposed workaholic or what but of late I've just felt the mood to study. The energy and drive. Maybe it was the accts and econs assignments that spurred me to finally start studying (not just finishing hw). Last weekend was perhaps my most productive one. Actually studied everything, including that horrible Biz Stats (which is pretty ok actually). Well I can feel this drive wont fade anytime soon, and I guess its better to prioritise my studies and focus on it instead of always worrying about friends who may not even be real frens or frens who are yr frens only becos they wanna use you for something.

Well life's unfair. Life's A bitch. Theres nothing we can do about it.

This is dedicated to you and you only

2009-09-04T01:48:00.004+08:00

Never done this. Will never do it again. Cos its lame. and gay. but its imperative i do this. feels like a must. This is for you (though u may never even read this in the first place. lol) Here goes...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm sorry. I've said it once on msn. I've said it to you in person.
And yet it doesnt feel like its enough.
You deserve every bit of an explanation from me.
And yet I can't provide you with one.
Reason being the explanation is illogical.
My treatment was completely uncalled for.
It was tremendously unfair to you.
You didn't see it coming. You had to deal with it.
And I gave you hell for no reason at all.
When all you've done is be the closest friend I could ask for.
This vicious cycle continues all the time.
And you're always in the line of fire.
I desperately need to halt it.
But I let it control me.
I know you are sick of it.
And I'm sick of myself for it.
It's been happening too many times.
In all the 14 months I've known you.
Maybe you're right. Something's wrong with me.
Whatever the case, you still shouldn't have to bear with it.
It's unfair. Uncalled for. Rude.
You have other stuff to deal with.
And my attitude is the last thing you need.
And despite all this you're still there.
For now.
Keep this up and I may lose you.
And I don't want that to happen.
I hate myself.
But I love you.
You're like my brother.
You're like my family.
You know who you are.
I just wish I know myself.
Sorry again for all the shit I've caused.
May this time really be the last.
Cos I don't want a repeat.
You don't deserve that.
We've been through shit.
And still managed to stick it out.
Just hope it's not too late

I'm Sorry II

2009-08-30T17:21:00.002+08:00

"The happiest people on the outside are sometimes the saddest on the inside"

Heard that once before. Not sure if its true. Doesn't matter. For me its not true. Cos i know im never happy on the inside. and hell no im never happy on the outside. Just on certain days u may be lucky and catch a glimpse of me smiling, laughing, crapping. But, I gotta feeling (not that tonight's gonna be a good good night) that this will all end. Stated previously, Im tad bipolar. Seriously though, all those "happy" moments are prolly used as a tool to mask my real self. A meer veneer.

Past few days has been a real pain. And it coincided with me conciously disconnecting myself from the world. From people. From friends. But I guess this makes it easier. For them. For me. And lame as it is to 'blog' abt it, its better than having to explain over n over to those who ask. Friends no longer have to deal with the emotional "stunts" I pull, and I dont have to care or concern myself too much with them. Cos all that culminates from this is pain. From being used. Being lied to. Lying to. And the list is endless. This way is easier. Im no longer human. Just an empty shell wandering the corridors of Uni, attending lectures, stoning etc. There is no more connection. I'm in a bubble.

When I look at you, when I speak with you, I will be emotionless. And unfortunately, it will seem like I do not care. Like I have attitude. You're right. And wrong as well. I dont care, only because I care too much. And I cant keep doing this. Hence the retreat into my oasis of solitude and emo-ness. Everything ends now. And everything begins now as well. Don't ask, for the answers have already been given. Can't keep dealing with this over n over. Yes, I'm weak. Deal with it. Oh wait, u no longer have to.

I'm Sorry

2009-08-27T21:55:00.004+08:00

Holy month of fasting has dawned upon us all. And fasting I am. Yes, I am, despite all u ppl thinkin i aint. And in this holy month Yours Truly has decided to be tad more introspective (more than he already is)

Skipped Business Econs Stats class (or half of it rather). First time skipping a class. Cant understand shit about it. Attend lectures. Read the notes. And I still cant get it. Its damn frustrating. I really feel like tearing the damn book and burning it. And I just wanna drop this stupid subject. Spoke to the tutor, and he insinuated that Anu and I are stupid idiots who dun study and just club all day. Bloody hell. Tryna put in so much effort for something u really wanna learn and do, and u cant do it by yrself, and no one can help u. Sian. What's left to do? Just continue skipping and fail the damn thing? Its better than wasting 2 hrs every Thursday staring at the com or projection screen stupidly not knowing what the hell is going on.

I'm bipolar.
One minute im happy/high/lame/retarded/joking/smiling/laughing.
The next I'm emo/moody/pissy/angry/cold/full of attitude/nonchalant.

Sometimes with reason. Sometimes without.

I know its tiring to be around me. Having to deal with these so called "mood swings".
It's irritating. I get it. But I can't help it. I'm sorry.

Random Updates

2009-08-23T02:38:00.003+08:00

This post is designed to keep u loyal readers updated about the life of Yours Truly. =.=

Cant get these songs outta my head:

Obsessed-Mariah Carey
Hotel Room Service-Pitbull
She Wolf-Shakira
Already Gone-Kelly Clarkson
小男人大男孩-Jam Hsiao (dont ask)
Goodbye-Kristinia DeBarge
Love Drunk-Boys Like Girls
Good Girls Go Bad-Cobra Starship Feat. Leighton Meester

Finally Back Home. After forever. Fasting month begins. Great. Weighed myself (really bimbo moment). 55kg. (cant be serious right? all that MacD, pizza, Jafaar suppers...). Damn pleased. Then sis tells me weighing machine is spoiled. pukimak.

Phil has dengue. wtf. told him to see doc like forever ago. stubborn as hell. just hope hes alrite.

Lala has alot of personal probs at d moment. Feel so bad for her. Feel bad for feeling helpless.

One stressful week of doing Management Assignment over. Now for Econs, Accounts and Business Stats Assignment. Can Seriously die man.

One MAJOR plan to accomplish in the next few days. Really hope I can pull it off.

Plan to cut this problematic hair tmr. Hope theres no mistakes whatsoever. *gulp*

Been feeling tad "confused" about a particular friend. Hard to explain.

Cant stop thinking of someone. A bit too much.

I guess thats about all I can remember.

[Im so fuckin in love with you. How do you stop yourself from loving someone you can never have?]

YOU AND I

2009-08-16T15:19:00.003+08:00

Slopes, Graphs, Curves and Price
When Demand falls it increases the lies
Katz, dogs, Roles and Skills
Debit, Credit, Accounts and Bills
You learn that X and Y are variables
But then your X is no longer available
You strive to fight away your fears
Only for it to end in tears
We're from two different worlds but act as one
When Uni ends our friendship's done
You turn your back and face the world
Realized you've been a misunderstood girl
Suffer in tunnels and await that light
Find no reward for all you've tried
Put others first before thyself
You're just an item on the shelf
You heed their calls and fulfill their needs
And yet they bite the hand that feeds
You try too hard to please them all
But in the end you're the one to fall
Learn that trust is hard to come by
Don't ask who, don't ask why
We seem close, the best of friends
Yet we know all this will end
They say you changed; your acts and words
Yet all you feel is just deep hurt
You keep going one day a time
Feel hollow for no reason or rhyme
We talk, we laugh, we joke, we share
Display concern because we care
And yet despite the ties that bind
And open eyes but we're still blind
Cant figure if it's fiction or fact
If what you're showing is all an act
Lame, High, Drunk or Emo
You seek the truth you want to know
We think that we are all aware
Of our friends' feelings and thoughts
But ask yourself if you really do
Or what you know is all in naught
After all the darkness that you've been through
Hoping someone will come and save you
From Tutorials and Lectures, Liars and Bitches
Two-faced Assholes and shameless Leeches
Who comes to you only when they need you
You feel confused about what to do
And Yours Truly may seem like he doesn't care
But yet he feels he's always there
Tries his best but is only used
Nothing to win and everything to lose
But once the dust settles and night arrives
You start to realize these are part of our lives

10 Things I Hate About Today...

2009-08-10T00:50:00.002+08:00

1) Woke up with an irritated nose.
2)Ashwin invited us to swim. Swim! Unfortunately I already had plans...
3)To complete my Biz & Econs Stats Assignment. Which I was unclear about.
4)Met Midget who just somehow annoys me. Prolly cos of our "history".
5)Heard of Anu's lil incident. Made me scared for her.
6)Spent 8 clueless hours trying to do (3). All I managed to do was (a) of Part 1. Still got (b), (c), Part 2, Part 3 and Report.
7)Heart and Stomach decided to act up. At the same time.
8)Realized there is alot alot alot of work to be done in the coming days.
9)Man United looked like shit (performance wise. Not jersey wise. Or Dan Wise [inside joke])
10)Despite getting minimal work done I still could find time to blog.

....And the Day continues...

2009-08-07T22:51:00.009+08:00

=While highlighting key phrases in the Econs textbook, came across a section on tips to effective studying. One tip was to not just highlight. I highlighted that tip.

=I pondered for a drink to buy at PV’s convenience store, and after forever, settled for 100plus. Then JB tells me he has 100plus at home.

=I have no problem saying “I love you” to friends. I just can’t say it to the significant other. Oh and guy friends too.

=Philemon wore a jacket and jeans with fake ipod earphones dangling. He demanded I take a picture cos he ‘looked good’. Like wtf?

=I received decent female attention in MUFY. I receive zero attention from girls in Monash now. But I do attract the guys every now and then. WTF?

=Mich mentioned a name, and Anu linked it with this assholic guy with a punchable face. It turned out to be him. We felt so great. It got better cos his name could be made fun of. Perasan, Presentation…..(inside joke)

=Shimi played Jonas Brothers’ “When You Look Me In The Eyes” in Anu’s car. Everyone went “Whaaat???!!!” A minute later he and I were singing to the song, and the girls weren’t.

=While trying to get a pink lighter, I picked Ann’s pink container instead. She laughed. Hours later I asked her for a lighter. She passed me a blue pen. At least the container had a resemblance to the lighter.

=It had been torturously scorching the past weeks. And life in Uni was terrible. It was windy, cool and rainy on my birthday. And the day just kept on getting better. I felt it was a truly special day indeed.

04 August 2009.

2130+hrs: At Anu’s house. Sposed to interview her mom, ended up being interviewed instead. Sposed to get management work done, onlined instead.

2245hrs: In Anu’s room with Shimmi, Ahmed, Ann and Ashwin. They were jamming, blogging, reading… I was online.

2330hrs: Chatted with JB, and he had me super confused with his cryptic sms-es and convo. Said he had a surprise or something. Left me excited and tad anxious. I didn’t know what he was up to.

2358hrs: While onlining, lights suddenly went off. Anu and her sis Nim entered the room carrying something. Everyone started singing “Happy Birthday”. Someone was playing the birthday song on the organ thingy. I was completely overwhelmed and shocked. Probably didn’t react the way I was supposed to. But hell! It was good. Anu, Ann, Shimmi, Ahmed and Ash, I love u guys. Not just for that, but for being super cool friends. Seriously.

05 August 2009.

0000hrs: JB types “eh happy birthday” on MSN. I was like what that’s the surprise? Then he said “surprise! No surprise.” I was so =.=. Nick called and chatted a while. Bro called, and the messages came in.

0100hrs +: Anu sent us back, and Ahmed bitchslapped my face. It was the perfect start.
Econs lecture was manageable. Pretty good day so far. Best thing was the weather. Windy, chilly, cool. Perfect. After the long days of heat. During lecture break, Addy surprised me with a gift she had bought with Shen. WTH! I was super shocked. Could this day get any better? Apparently yes.

Was with JB during break. He sent me something on Bluetooth. It was the funniest yet most touching thing I’d ever seen. THAT was the surprise he wanted to give me. Couldn’t stop laughing and tearing. Never saw it coming. Love u man. Not just for that. But for being the best friend I could possibly have. Seriously.

JB went for class. I was hungry. So Anu, Ann and I went to Pink to eat. Ordered food while waiting for Lala who had break. Lala came, with Jarvis…and a whole bunch of ppl and a cake. A CAKE. WTH! Completely din see this coming. Phil, Mich, Joey, Andrew, Sung Jin, Andre and some other guy whose name I donno were there as well. Belted out that birthday song again. Loudly. OMG. Overwhelmed. Sppechless. DAMN! And Lala made this super cool card. MADE. Really touched me. Love u Lala. Not for the card and the whole celebration, but for being there all the time. Seriously.

OK. This had to be it right. One old man couldn’t take so many surprises in one day. Well, maybe just one more. It wasn’t a surprise, cos this one came from me. Ipod Classic vs Ipod Touch. Settled for classic for rm 999. 120GB. FUCK! Definitely the best the day I’ve ever had in a freakin long time. Oh and the next morning, while walking out of Suria Mas, spotted this coffin looking crate near the stairs. Ann and I started laughing like nobody’s business. Again, its an inside joke. Blame yourself for not being inside. Lol.

To all those who made this day truly remarkable, thank you. It was amazing.

Two Ladies who made the day remarkable. Amazing.

Who needs a cake when you got this! Creative beyond creative! Who needs to cut cake when you can stab the apple! Fantastic!

Lala made this. MADE! Just look at it. To say I was touched would be an understatement. And her messsage inside was so sweet too.

"To my dearest 'Grandpa', HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again!! Really sorry bout not getting you any present but hope you'll like this card that I specially made for you. Plus, just wanna say thousands and millions BIG THANK YOU. Thanks for being such a nice fren to me. So proud to have you as my bestie. And I'll always be proud of it. So, all the best to you and do enjoy your B'day. HO HO HO! Now you can do anything you want due your an adult now =) xoxo, blurest girl (Angela)"

How can you not love her?

And to reward myself (for the first time),I bought an rm 999 iPod Classic with 120gb storage. Definitely the best day. BUT FUCK I DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR WHENI WAS CHARGING IT! JUST 2 DAYS AND ALREADY I DROPPED IT. WTFFF!!!

Final Words to close this post....

JB, Lala, Ann, Anu, Shimi, Ahmed,Ashwin, special reservation for u bunch of ppl. You know I love you guys. Seriously!

Birthday Management

2009-08-05T02:02:00.003+08:00

Principles of Management on Birthdays:

= Incorporate Surprise into existing plan of action.
= Act oblivious towards said activity.
= Isolate target to achieve organizational goal.
= Attain conceptual skills-> think outside the box and break tradition.
= Practice musical objective surreptitiously in presence of target
= Adopt Sudden Approach (eg-> switching off of lights and carrying a bowl of mnm's, hersheys and an apple)
= Organisational Unity-> Singing of Birthday Song
= Team Bonding session -> Group hugs and photo taking sessions (disclaimer= bones may be broken in process)

* Thx Anu, Ann, Shimi, Ahmed, Ash and Nim for possibly the best ever start to a birthday I could ever have. Didn't see it coming. Completely loved it. Even the bitch slap.

* Thx JB for all your crap. Still cant bliv all yr nonsense. lol.

* Thx everyone else so far....

[probably to be continued later today. What a great start.]

Seriously

2009-08-02T00:36:00.019+08:00

= Acktually, the probrem is the lecturer's charasteristics. Seriously.

= 12 hours spent on a 500 word essay. Seriously.

= Pre-conceived notion that (pardon me pls) Blacks are not nice people HAVE to be abolished. Seriously.

= I have an inner Shimi. We both take an hour to get ready. And we're both pretty. Seriously.

= I spent a night at my friend's place. He's a guy. My girl friends claim I had a happy 'morning-after' look. Like wtf?! Seriously.

= Sam gave me weird looks. I hated him. I gave him a chance. Became neutral. Learnt of his nature. Hate him to the core now. Seriously.

= Whoever said I'm emo? Seriously.

=Whoever thought JB was not a psychotic killer? Seriously.
=Whoever thought Tsu Ann would only pass out from drinking and not excess inhalation? Seriously.

=Whoever said I never study? Seriously.

=Whoever said JB never studied? Seriously.

=I've seriously HAD IT with GUYS coming on to me. Just few mins ago some random malay dude added me on FB, and I thought he was my bro's fren. I added him and asked my bro/sis, who did not know the guy. BIG MISTAKE. Again. Dude chatted me up on FB. Asked why I aint asleep. Said he liked my hair. Asked what shampoo I used. WTF!!! and he spoke to me in Malay. This really takes the cake. Seriously!

=Two girls told me they loved me. Sadly the one I want thinks I'm a joke. Seriously.

=Mom called during lecture. I ignored and told her I had a lecture. She told me to pick up, in case of an emergency. She called me again during tutorial. I picked up. She scolded me for picking up while havin class. Seriously WTH???

=My bro tol me we both attract guys. I said yeah, sadly. He added he also attracts chicks. I didn't reply cos I didn't. Seriously.

=I'm currently in JB's room. I'm blogging. He's blogging. This feels like an extremely gay moment. Or a chick moment. Seriously.

=Shimi wanted to cut his hair, but decided not to. He told Anu "babe im not gonna cut my hair". I didn't hear the 'babe' and replied "What! Why?". They looked at me weird. I felt stupid. Seriously.

=JB wanted to take a pic of his messy room. I told him I beat him to it. I started thinking if we shared some psychic connection. Then I ignored it. Seriously.

=I was looking forward to heading home this weekend. Cancelled last minute due to lack of studying opportunities at home. I felt depressed, but so proud of myself that I actually prioritised studies. Seriously!

=I chatted with my brother. Until I realised he was actually my sister. I felt stupid. Why am I always stupid? Seriously.

=It was Thursday. Tsu Ann didn't club, actually studied and did not go *amming. I actually felt proud of her and told her I'd treat her an ice-cream the next day. It was the most fatherly I've ever felt.Seriously.

=I've to interview Anu's mom on tuesday for my management assignment. I'm really scared. Seriously.

=Speaking of.. Anu and I were discussing who should interview her uncle and mom. She said she'd interview her uncle. Then I said "fine i'll do yr mom". Seriously.

=I told a girl I liked her. She laughed at my face. I don't know which hurts more. The fact she thinks it's a joke or she liking somebody else. Seriously.

MY LIFE IS AVERAGELY FUCKED. SERIOUSLY!