"Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep comin' around
Hey What do I want from me?"
Seriously, Ive no idea what I want from myself. For myself. Sometimes, the greatest pressure doesn't come from your parents or peers, but from yourself, and I guess that's what's happening to me right now. Perhaps I'm putting too much pressure on myself to succeed. And Lord knows it has backfired.
Random thought. It's been 4-5 weeks in uni. And I've realised that I don't really have a "guy" clique. Usually guys have their whole buncha friends from their hometowns or wadever. And for me, I'm usually always with a buncha girls. Not that it's a bad thing. But it ain't sucha good thing either. It just made me realise I've never had a whole bunch of guy friends ever since I set foot in Sunway 2 years ago.
Monash has screwed us over. Yet again. It's getting sickening. And yes I'm pissed cos they just messed up with our futures. Ok not so for mine cos I never really thought about it, but my friend had, so thats reason enough for me to be mad at Monash. And now I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Being indecisive has alot of disadvantages. What happens from here on? Do we just go along with what our families have decided for us, even though we don't want to? Do we take the most convenient path? Perhaps we head to the place we really want to go despite all the difficulties of obtaining it. Or maybe, we just follow our friends wherever they go, since they're doing the same thing as us and we don't know what we want for ourselves. What do I want from me?
One prob that has plagued me since the beginning of time has to be the whole 'nice' issue. At times, I find myself being the nicest person I can be, cos that's who I generally am. Helping ppl and being nice makes u feel good. Yet, the downside is being unappreciated or taken advantage of. And then when I decide enough is enough and have that "fuck lah u assholes who keep using me" feeling, I shut them out. And they have the perception of u having attitude, forgetting all the good you've done. It's getting tiring. And I'm tired of complaining. And you're tired of me complaining. Lol. Guess I ain't the only one feeling like this.
"I am glad I finally decided to let go of a friendship that is brain draining.. I am dead tired trying to be who I am not, and thinking that I am always the one at fault.. I deserve so much better!!"
Friend's Facebook Status
What are u supposed to do? What do I want from me?
There are ppl who are born smart. And there are ppl like me who have to study. And I guess I've had enough. Enough of studying like a crazy nerd everyday, forsaking my social life and every little bit of pleasure in the process, and seeing all that hard work and effort not pay off. Its physically and mentally tiring. Of course I don't expect instant yields per se. But seeing that my constant nerding still makes me a clueless ass about everything and having disappointing returns week in week out just makes me wanna not try so hard anymore. So much input, no output. And others who seem to not give a damn about studies reap all the rewards they never sowed. It ain't about jealousy. Just unfairness. I'm too tired of everything. I just feel like giving up.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Lost Then Found...and Lost again
Yours truly is back. I've finally decided to heed the calls of my hundreds of loyal fans and return to cyberspace. Ok I lied i dun have hundreds of fans. Maybe only 2 or 3. :P . So bloody much has happened since uni started. Gosh where do I start. Uni. It's mind- boggling how I've been studying everyday for hours and yet I can never seem to keep pace with the schedule; I'm always 1/2 weeks behind. And certain ppl in Monash really shd take certain courses to enable them to be more proficient in specific fields. Not gonna name anyone cos I dun wanna get sued for sedition lol. BUT!
Someone has to stop saying "can you see or not" every 30 seconds.
Someone has to pronounce individual as "individual" and not "individiu".
Someone has to stop saying that the unit she is lecturing is boring. What kinda lecturer derides her own unit?
Whoever wrote the AFW1002 textbook should be sued (but I tink they're dead already). So many bloody mistakes. Glaring ones like "appplied".
=============================================
* Saw someone in lecture that looks like a freakin hybrid of me and another friend. Of cos that fella was good looking, tho his dress sense needs a lil twerkin. Lol.
*Getting creeped out by somene's supposed physicness. It's like our minds are completely connected.
* Made the biggest mistake I've ever made this year.
* What happened to sexyback? Well, I know she was My Love, but I doubt it was just a Summer Love, but maybe What Goes Around Comes Around and although I may still be Lovestoned this love aint gonna last Until The End Of Time:(
=============================================
My new room. Ok I didn't shift places. And its stupid to say new cos thrs no old pics to compare it with. But those of u who knows what my room looked like before will know the diff. Actually thr's not much.
The overall 'modifications' and 'renovations' of the room included that young boy sleeping. He was part of the renovation package. That's me roomie. :) Housemate turned Roommate turned Stranger turned Crashmate and now back to Roommate again. Got more scandalous pix of this fella but the pix are copyrighted so cant post anyhow and anywhere.
=============================================
* Personal talks seem harder with you now. There seems to be a wall between us, and any effort made to break it down always fails.. Trust is decreasing. The fun times are there, but so are the 'shit' ones. You seem to value nothing and no one, other than yourself.
* You tend to bullshit alot. Then again who doesn't. Called me your "best friend" once. [LOL]. You just seem to be changing perpetually, and it gves rise to the notion that you are fake. Then again, maybe its just my imagination.
* There's all the hoping and waiting and patience. And in the end nothing ever seems to materialise. Like the first one, there seems to be no problems with us because we've not been close enough.
* I've overlooked what everyone's been dishing about you - all the crap, shit, derisive comments- because you're close to me. Friends give and take, and accept each other's flaws. But sometimes, you just have to overdo it, and your mannerisms can irk even the most patient and kind of hearts. I prefer you acting 'old'.
* You used to be a saviour to me. Now, you just seem to be a nobody.
Everyone has their bad points. Heck, I'm emo, display attitude etc. And yes I love my friends but as mentioned, I always look on the dark side of life. I'm still wondering how I should be....
Someone has to stop saying "can you see or not" every 30 seconds.
Someone has to pronounce individual as "individual" and not "individiu".
Someone has to stop saying that the unit she is lecturing is boring. What kinda lecturer derides her own unit?
Whoever wrote the AFW1002 textbook should be sued (but I tink they're dead already). So many bloody mistakes. Glaring ones like "appplied".
=============================================
* Saw someone in lecture that looks like a freakin hybrid of me and another friend. Of cos that fella was good looking, tho his dress sense needs a lil twerkin. Lol.
*Getting creeped out by somene's supposed physicness. It's like our minds are completely connected.
* Made the biggest mistake I've ever made this year.
* What happened to sexyback? Well, I know she was My Love, but I doubt it was just a Summer Love, but maybe What Goes Around Comes Around and although I may still be Lovestoned this love aint gonna last Until The End Of Time:(
=============================================
My new room. Ok I didn't shift places. And its stupid to say new cos thrs no old pics to compare it with. But those of u who knows what my room looked like before will know the diff. Actually thr's not much.
The overall 'modifications' and 'renovations' of the room included that young boy sleeping. He was part of the renovation package. That's me roomie. :) Housemate turned Roommate turned Stranger turned Crashmate and now back to Roommate again. Got more scandalous pix of this fella but the pix are copyrighted so cant post anyhow and anywhere.=============================================
What's the diff between a bitch and a pessimist? A bitch just talks shit about ppl beind their backs cos they're bored of their own lame lives and their sole misson in life is to destroy the lives of others. A pessimist just sees the bad/darker side of things, but he/she may be a good person.
Being a pessimist, I tend to always look on the dark side of life; every aspect of it. I don't hate things. I just see the bad in things, even the good ones. Like friends....
* You and I had not had any probs/bust-ups for ages. That's a good thing. But it probably is because we have not been close enough recently to have any disagreements. Yes, we've drifted.
* Personal talks seem harder with you now. There seems to be a wall between us, and any effort made to break it down always fails.. Trust is decreasing. The fun times are there, but so are the 'shit' ones. You seem to value nothing and no one, other than yourself.
* You tend to bullshit alot. Then again who doesn't. Called me your "best friend" once. [LOL]. You just seem to be changing perpetually, and it gves rise to the notion that you are fake. Then again, maybe its just my imagination.
* There's all the hoping and waiting and patience. And in the end nothing ever seems to materialise. Like the first one, there seems to be no problems with us because we've not been close enough.
* I've overlooked what everyone's been dishing about you - all the crap, shit, derisive comments- because you're close to me. Friends give and take, and accept each other's flaws. But sometimes, you just have to overdo it, and your mannerisms can irk even the most patient and kind of hearts. I prefer you acting 'old'.
* You used to be a saviour to me. Now, you just seem to be a nobody.
Everyone has their bad points. Heck, I'm emo, display attitude etc. And yes I love my friends but as mentioned, I always look on the dark side of life. I'm still wondering how I should be....
Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Songs:
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
According To You - Orianthi
Uprising - Muse
Today Was A Fairytale - Taylor Swift
Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston
Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore
Solo - IYAZ
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Universe-City
Hols officially ended. Uni's started. I'm not pleased.
First day of Uni. Wanted to study. No material to use. I'm not pleased.
Books are friggin expensive. I'm not pleased.
I still have no friends in Uni. Except for my occasional hot friends. hahaha. I'm not pleased.
Wasted the first night of sem doing nothing. And by nothing I mean listening to music, watching cartoons, cocking around, having pillowfights etc. (yes, pillowfights). I'm not pleased.
Actually went to gym! And have been the butt of someone's jokes since forever. I'm not pleased.
Dunno how to find work to earn money. I'm not pleased.
Currently "half" succeeding with my 'operation'. I'm not pleased.
The net has been MIA since forever. I'm not pleased. (but its back now. =.=)
Timetable aint the exact way I planned it to be. I'm not pleased.
Future is still nebulous. I'm not pleased.
Some people are secret assholes. I'm not pleased.
Someone said I'm boring. Boring! I know I'm boring, but no one has ever said that before. I'm not pleased.
I am always not pleased. I'm not pleased that I'm always not pleased.
Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Songs:
Baby - Justin Bieber Feat Ludacris
Lost Then Found - Leona Lewis Feat OneRepublic
Cry Me Out - Pixie Lott
Telephone - Lady Gaga Feat Beyonce
Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas
First day of Uni. Wanted to study. No material to use. I'm not pleased.
Books are friggin expensive. I'm not pleased.
I still have no friends in Uni. Except for my occasional hot friends. hahaha. I'm not pleased.
Wasted the first night of sem doing nothing. And by nothing I mean listening to music, watching cartoons, cocking around, having pillowfights etc. (yes, pillowfights). I'm not pleased.
Actually went to gym! And have been the butt of someone's jokes since forever. I'm not pleased.
Dunno how to find work to earn money. I'm not pleased.
Currently "half" succeeding with my 'operation'. I'm not pleased.
The net has been MIA since forever. I'm not pleased. (but its back now. =.=)
Timetable aint the exact way I planned it to be. I'm not pleased.
Future is still nebulous. I'm not pleased.
Some people are secret assholes. I'm not pleased.
Someone said I'm boring. Boring! I know I'm boring, but no one has ever said that before. I'm not pleased.
I am always not pleased. I'm not pleased that I'm always not pleased.
Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Songs:
Baby - Justin Bieber Feat Ludacris
Lost Then Found - Leona Lewis Feat OneRepublic
Cry Me Out - Pixie Lott
Telephone - Lady Gaga Feat Beyonce
Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas
Sunday, February 21, 2010
End of Hols, End of Hell? (as i know it)
So hols are drawing to a close, and 3.5 months have just zoomed past like nobody's business. And its weird when you realise the upcoming sem is about the same duration with the hols we just had. Time to bid adieu to home sweet home, and say hello to bright sunny Sunway. Here's what I've learnt in the past few months or so (not that you'd care lol but I aint askin for yr permission).
* its better to ask for forgiveness than for permission
* some people are just a waste of time to have in your life. its better to just cut them out.
* the time will come when u have to finally step up and take a stand on yr own life. and not follow what ppl always tell u to do. if not, you'll be living THEIR lives, not YOURS.
* boredom has its own benefits. sometimes.
* holidays doesnt necessarily equate to good times. yours truly found out the extremely painful way.
* if ppl cant accept u for who u are, then they dun really care abt u. of course, some have their own standards and principles and stuff, but every relationship has certain "gives and takes". u cant expect someone to change their behaviour just because someone else doesnt like it.
* talking about problems doesnt necessarily makes you feel better, given the saying "talking it out will make u feel better". [ok its not really a saying lah but u geddit]. while it may hold true at times, sometimes it doesnt cos the person u talk it out to doesnt actually care about it altho they persistently ask. they just wanna know for the sake of knowing.
* friends come and go. having good friends is healthy (yes it is). sadly, good friends are hard to find nowadays. and those friends that u tink are close to u may just be assholes in disguise, and cant be trusted.
* sleeping late and being haunted every night is very very unhealthy. messes alot with your mind and body.
* late night chats on the phone that last for hours are pretty fun. unless u hear a scary male voice on the line all of a sudden when you're talking to a girl.
* gaining weight is a surreptitious activity. u THINK u still weigh and look the same (ard there). next thing u know poof u gained 8kg.
* when ppl say "ill think abt it/i'll try/i'll see what i can do", most prolly they wont do nothing.
* tragedy can strike at any damn time. and they force u to tap into a side of yrself that u didnt know existed, and delve into the strange world of evil (as in behavioural evil, not Jennifer's Body evil)
* being chased by a huge ginormous flying insect for 10+ mins around yr house at 3am is really good exercise.
* when yr chamber of secrets has been opened and u are asked about it, just deny it [especially if its a secret u do not want known].
* Singapore is so much better than JB. Im so glad Im Sporean, altho JB will forever be my home.
* apparently ive been emo for wayyyyyy too long that now, when Im happy ppl think Im on drugs.
* Facebook is getting really boring. All people do nowadays are become fans of this and that and send really annoying invitations to be on their damn farm/aquarium/mafia.
* Sometimes u really cant read people at all. Those popular kids in school (those typical swimmer/sportsppl etc) may actually turn out to be "queer", and those shoved in the back who constantly get derided (being called gay, weirdo etc) may turn out to be popular in their later years.
7 days to March 1. To Sem. To nerding. To stress. May the Force be with us all. I am hoping so much that I do NOT get a repeat of first sem. that whole sem was a gigantic mess.
* its better to ask for forgiveness than for permission
* some people are just a waste of time to have in your life. its better to just cut them out.
* the time will come when u have to finally step up and take a stand on yr own life. and not follow what ppl always tell u to do. if not, you'll be living THEIR lives, not YOURS.
* boredom has its own benefits. sometimes.
* holidays doesnt necessarily equate to good times. yours truly found out the extremely painful way.
* if ppl cant accept u for who u are, then they dun really care abt u. of course, some have their own standards and principles and stuff, but every relationship has certain "gives and takes". u cant expect someone to change their behaviour just because someone else doesnt like it.
* talking about problems doesnt necessarily makes you feel better, given the saying "talking it out will make u feel better". [ok its not really a saying lah but u geddit]. while it may hold true at times, sometimes it doesnt cos the person u talk it out to doesnt actually care about it altho they persistently ask. they just wanna know for the sake of knowing.
* friends come and go. having good friends is healthy (yes it is). sadly, good friends are hard to find nowadays. and those friends that u tink are close to u may just be assholes in disguise, and cant be trusted.
* sleeping late and being haunted every night is very very unhealthy. messes alot with your mind and body.
* late night chats on the phone that last for hours are pretty fun. unless u hear a scary male voice on the line all of a sudden when you're talking to a girl.
* gaining weight is a surreptitious activity. u THINK u still weigh and look the same (ard there). next thing u know poof u gained 8kg.
* when ppl say "ill think abt it/i'll try/i'll see what i can do", most prolly they wont do nothing.
* tragedy can strike at any damn time. and they force u to tap into a side of yrself that u didnt know existed, and delve into the strange world of evil (as in behavioural evil, not Jennifer's Body evil)
* being chased by a huge ginormous flying insect for 10+ mins around yr house at 3am is really good exercise.
* when yr chamber of secrets has been opened and u are asked about it, just deny it [especially if its a secret u do not want known].
* Singapore is so much better than JB. Im so glad Im Sporean, altho JB will forever be my home.
* apparently ive been emo for wayyyyyy too long that now, when Im happy ppl think Im on drugs.
* Facebook is getting really boring. All people do nowadays are become fans of this and that and send really annoying invitations to be on their damn farm/aquarium/mafia.
* Sometimes u really cant read people at all. Those popular kids in school (those typical swimmer/sportsppl etc) may actually turn out to be "queer", and those shoved in the back who constantly get derided (being called gay, weirdo etc) may turn out to be popular in their later years.
7 days to March 1. To Sem. To nerding. To stress. May the Force be with us all. I am hoping so much that I do NOT get a repeat of first sem. that whole sem was a gigantic mess.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Which One Are U?
"Please tell me what is taking place
Cos I can't seem to find a trace
Guess it must have got erased somehow
Can't help it if I space in a daze
My eyes tune out the other way
I may switch off and go in a day dream
In this head my thoughts are deep
Sometimes I can't even speak
Would someone be and not pretend
I'm off again in my world"
Avril Lavigne - My World
"You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you
All the things you had for me
All the shit that you do"
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
"You lookin' like a tool not a bawler
You're actin' like a chick why bother
I can find someone way hotter
With a bigger *wow*"
Ke$ha - Kiss N Tell
"That I just want you to know
I found out the reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I found out the reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you"
Hoobastank - The Reason
"Am I just some chick you placed beside you
To take somebody's place
When you turn around
Can you recognize my face
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere"
Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip
"My new nickname is you idiot (such an idiot)
Thats what my friens are calling me when
They see me yelling into my phone
They tellin' me let go
He is not the one
I thought I saw your potential
Guess thats what made me dumb
This is stupid I'm not stupid
Don't talk to me like I'm stupid
I still love you but I just cant do this
I may be dumb but I'm not stupid"
Rihanna - Stupid In Love
"Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down knocks you down"
Keri Hilson - Knock You Down
"The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games
You're insecure
You love me you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Doesn't know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing
I hate the most that you do
You make me love you"
Miley Cyrus - 7 things
"Sometimes I feel like I'm going out of my mind
Boy the way you do me is a damn crime
But then you smile at me and it's alright
With you there ain't no in between
Every time that I walk out the door
Tell myself I can't take it no more
There's a part of me won't let you go
I keep saying yes when my minds' saying no
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you"
The Saturdays - Issues
"There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time to criticize me
It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today
So shut up shut up shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out get out get out
Get out of my way
Step up step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down"
Simple Plan - Shut Up
"Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
You feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With the big fake smiles
And stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding"
Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life
... and a song that contains perhaps one of the most meaningful lyrics.....
"Sometimes we fall down can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done
Yeah we gotta start
Lookin' at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got then we gotta start thinkin'
If every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
If your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful
Who we left out of our lives
When we long for absolution
There'll be no one on the line
You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone"
Kris Allen - Live Like We're Dying
Current Songs:
Kiss N Tell, Blah Blah Blah (Ke$ha)
Love Me (Justin Bieber)
Live Like We're Dying (Kris Allen)
Time For Miracles, Whataya Want From Me (Adam Lambert)
Imma Be (Black Eyed Peas)
Young Forever (Jay-Z)
Cos I can't seem to find a trace
Guess it must have got erased somehow
Can't help it if I space in a daze
My eyes tune out the other way
I may switch off and go in a day dream
In this head my thoughts are deep
Sometimes I can't even speak
Would someone be and not pretend
I'm off again in my world"
Avril Lavigne - My World
"You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you
All the things you had for me
All the shit that you do"
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
"You lookin' like a tool not a bawler
You're actin' like a chick why bother
I can find someone way hotter
With a bigger *wow*"
Ke$ha - Kiss N Tell
"That I just want you to know
I found out the reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I found out the reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you"
Hoobastank - The Reason
"Am I just some chick you placed beside you
To take somebody's place
When you turn around
Can you recognize my face
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere"
Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip
"My new nickname is you idiot (such an idiot)
Thats what my friens are calling me when
They see me yelling into my phone
They tellin' me let go
He is not the one
I thought I saw your potential
Guess thats what made me dumb
This is stupid I'm not stupid
Don't talk to me like I'm stupid
I still love you but I just cant do this
I may be dumb but I'm not stupid"
Rihanna - Stupid In Love
"Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down knocks you down"
Keri Hilson - Knock You Down
"The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games
You're insecure
You love me you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Doesn't know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing
I hate the most that you do
You make me love you"
Miley Cyrus - 7 things
"Sometimes I feel like I'm going out of my mind
Boy the way you do me is a damn crime
But then you smile at me and it's alright
With you there ain't no in between
Every time that I walk out the door
Tell myself I can't take it no more
There's a part of me won't let you go
I keep saying yes when my minds' saying no
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you"
The Saturdays - Issues
"There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time to criticize me
It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today
So shut up shut up shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out get out get out
Get out of my way
Step up step up step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down"
Simple Plan - Shut Up
"Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
To be hurt to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
You feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With the big fake smiles
And stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding"
Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life
... and a song that contains perhaps one of the most meaningful lyrics.....
"Sometimes we fall down can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late it's not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done
Yeah we gotta start
Lookin' at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got then we gotta start thinkin'
If every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
If your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful
Who we left out of our lives
When we long for absolution
There'll be no one on the line
You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone"
Kris Allen - Live Like We're Dying
Current Songs:
Kiss N Tell, Blah Blah Blah (Ke$ha)
Love Me (Justin Bieber)
Live Like We're Dying (Kris Allen)
Time For Miracles, Whataya Want From Me (Adam Lambert)
Imma Be (Black Eyed Peas)
Young Forever (Jay-Z)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Penderitaan Dalam Kesunyian....lol
In the past, whenever fights/arguments/misunderstandings occured, we always apologised first, whether we were right or wrong. Why? Because the value of the friendship/relationship was more than the value of our pride - it didn't matter that we "lose face" by apologising first, as long as it kept that friendship intact and strong. But not anymore. The days of us always apologising first has to go, and gone it has. It's not because the value of the friendship has decreased, or that the value of our pride has increased; it's simply cos constantly apologising will only cover the source of the real problem by making things seem as though they are okay again, when they really aren't. The message won't get across and people won't ever understand cos our apologies make them think that everything is ok and its been done and dusted. It's not, and the sad part is, it probably never will be.
It's impossible to give your attention to every single person in your life; those closer to you will indefinitely recieve more of yours, and those that aren't may receive less or none at all. You don't mean to be mean, but that's how it is. But sometimes pre-destined priorities or bonds that have been set make this rather tricky, complicated and ultimately frustrating. Someone may mean the world to you, but to that person, you are just "somebody else". They have a silent obligation, a "circle" in which they are forever bonded with and in, and we are forever on the outside, trying desperately to find a way to get in, but to no avail. Whatever we do for them only brings us to the surface of that circle, but never inside. While those on the inside remain inside even if they are complete assholes. There's just no way to break this circle, and that's the sorrowful deal we've been dealt. Talking to them about it won't do you any good. Why? Cos they'll deny it, an argument will break out, and you're forced to never bring it up again. So what do we do? We suffer in silence. BUT that does not mean we'll allow it. We just pick ourselves up and fight back. In silence. And the day that we are truly gone from your lives, you may not even care, or it will be the day you will finally realise and regret.
It's impossible to give your attention to every single person in your life; those closer to you will indefinitely recieve more of yours, and those that aren't may receive less or none at all. You don't mean to be mean, but that's how it is. But sometimes pre-destined priorities or bonds that have been set make this rather tricky, complicated and ultimately frustrating. Someone may mean the world to you, but to that person, you are just "somebody else". They have a silent obligation, a "circle" in which they are forever bonded with and in, and we are forever on the outside, trying desperately to find a way to get in, but to no avail. Whatever we do for them only brings us to the surface of that circle, but never inside. While those on the inside remain inside even if they are complete assholes. There's just no way to break this circle, and that's the sorrowful deal we've been dealt. Talking to them about it won't do you any good. Why? Cos they'll deny it, an argument will break out, and you're forced to never bring it up again. So what do we do? We suffer in silence. BUT that does not mean we'll allow it. We just pick ourselves up and fight back. In silence. And the day that we are truly gone from your lives, you may not even care, or it will be the day you will finally realise and regret.
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