Unbelievable...

Can't believe nearly 22 years ago he saw the world.
Can't believe 16 years ago he left his hometown for a foreign land.
Can't believe 12 years ago he was abused for the first time.
Can't believe 10 years ago he broke family tradition, with devastating ramifications.
Can't believe only 5 short years ago he had his first real communication with the opposite sex.
Can't believe 4 years ago he weighed 70+ kg.
Can't believe 3 years ago he experienced the most enriching phase of his life.
Can't believe 3 years ago she left earth so unexpectedly; his heart still misses her to this day.
Can't believe it was only 2 years ago he met him; someone who added so much colour to his life, someone he looked upon as a brother, someone he feels he's known for life.
Can't believe it was only 2 years ago he met her; someone who managed to steal his emo heart, and fill it with unexplainable joy, who managed to extract the "L" word from his mouth.
Can't believe 1 year ago he went through his most emo phase in life.
Cant believe 5 months ago he made the biggest mistake of his life.
Can't believe it was only 3 weeks ago he made her the happiest person on earth, and subsequently made her the most emo person ever.
Can't believe he is blogging in this critical moment while his roommate his entertaining him with his nice singing voice.
Can't believe he's not studying with exams in 12 days.

Song Lessons

Ive crapped abt what tv shows have taught me. Now Im gonna crap abt what songs have taught me. One of the most hyped singer since his/her inception has to be without a doubt (no NOT justin bieber) but Lady Gaga. This is what her singles have taught me:

Just Dance - Sometimes in the midst of all the ongoing crap occuring in yr life, its good to just forget abt em and let loose
Poker Face - You cant really trust people cos they can backstab u. Oh, and those who appear straight may actually be gay. Lol.
LoveGame - A dick can be called a discostick.
Paparazzi - Loving someone too much may be dangerous
Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) - The time will come when people close to us start to leave, and we just have to accept it :(
Bad Romance - You do your best to please someone, to want their love, attention and affection, but all u get in return is entrapment in a loveless relationship/friendship.
Telephone - Household items with repetitions make very good songs. Like Rihanna's Umbrella. =.=

KE$HA's songs taught me that you can appear to be some slutty bimbo who prances around singing about the most pointless crap, but you will still be famous. Such is the sad scene of the music industry nowadays.

Ok lah. JUSTIN BIEBER. What have his songs taught me?
One Time : A boy and girl are meant to be an item. A pair. Not boy and boy or girl and girl. Provided the girl is not taller than the guy lah.
One Less Lonely Girl: Same thing.
Baby: Again the same thing. How much a girl means to a boy. He has to find girls shorter than him for his vids.
Eenie Meenie: Childhood nursery rhymes/songs can be made into meaningless songs nowadays, needing just an insanely catchy tune.

Current mood: So extremely dead tired
Current Songs:
What you waiting for - MizzNina feat Colby O
All night long - Alexandra Burke feat Pitbull
California Gurls - Katy Perry feat Snoopp Dogg
Alejandro - Lady Gaga

Rude Boy, Girl, Man, Woman.... =.=

Funny ain't it?

How close friends can turn to strangers.

How your closest friends always tear you down and seem to not care.

And those you thought weren't close to you are the ones that always had your back and supported you.

The beauty of relationships and friendships.

Life. Expect the unexpected. Expect nothing.

What do I do?

Each day brings new problems

Each problem does not come with new solutions

And each day brings different emotions to a particular issue

What do I do?

Carry on? Or just stop once and for all?

Driving me crazy. I wish i had the energy and strength

To let go once and for all

God why the frack am I so EMO??!!

Motherf*cker I'm Awesome No You're not Dude don't Lie

Things have been hectic. Crazy.
Assignments come and go. Mind's been hazy.
Can't handle uni work.
Seriously going berserk.
Revision momentum's been screwed.
Well, this is nothing new.
Emotional pain hurts more than the physical.
Whether it comes from your close friend or a girl.
They say if you love something,
You let it go and see if it comes running,
Back to you.
If it doesn't, what to do?
What if you give your all for a friend or a boy/girl u love,
But that person only gets on your nerve.
You invest so much time and emotions.
But there's no reciprocation.
Just give up. There's no point right? Don't give a damn.
They don't see us like how we see them.
We learn to let go.
They'll never know.
Guess this is how it finally goes down.
Without a smile, but only a frown.
Regret. Sorrow. The good memories gone by.
We live for ourselves. With ourselves. With me myself and I.
Shut the world out. And just focus on what counts,
Marketing, MoneyCaps, Biz Law and Accounts.

Current Mood: Emo, emo, emo, tired, emo, emo, emo
Current Songs:
Billionaire (Travie McCoy feat Bruno Mars)
I'm Awesome (Spose)
When I Look At You (Miley Cyrus)
All I Ever Wanted (Kelly Clarkson)
Your Love Is My Drug (Ke$ha)
Eenie Meenie (Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston)
Rude Boy (Rihanna)

What Do I Want From Me

"Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep comin' around
Hey What do I want from me?"

Seriously, Ive no idea what I want from myself. For myself. Sometimes, the greatest pressure doesn't come from your parents or peers, but from yourself, and I guess that's what's happening to me right now. Perhaps I'm putting too much pressure on myself to succeed. And Lord knows it has backfired.

Random thought. It's been 4-5 weeks in uni. And I've realised that I don't really have a "guy" clique. Usually guys have their whole buncha friends from their hometowns or wadever. And for me, I'm usually always with a buncha girls. Not that it's a bad thing. But it ain't sucha good thing either. It just made me realise I've never had a whole bunch of guy friends ever since I set foot in Sunway 2 years ago.

Monash has screwed us over. Yet again. It's getting sickening. And yes I'm pissed cos they just messed up with our futures. Ok not so for mine cos I never really thought about it, but my friend had, so thats reason enough for me to be mad at Monash. And now I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Being indecisive has alot of disadvantages. What happens from here on? Do we just go along with what our families have decided for us, even though we don't want to? Do we take the most convenient path? Perhaps we head to the place we really want to go despite all the difficulties of obtaining it. Or maybe, we just follow our friends wherever they go, since they're doing the same thing as us and we don't know what we want for ourselves. What do I want from me?

One prob that has plagued me since the beginning of time has to be the whole 'nice' issue. At times, I find myself being the nicest person I can be, cos that's who I generally am. Helping ppl and being nice makes u feel good. Yet, the downside is being unappreciated or taken advantage of. And then when I decide enough is enough and have that "fuck lah u assholes who keep using me" feeling, I shut them out. And they have the perception of u having attitude, forgetting all the good you've done. It's getting tiring. And I'm tired of complaining. And you're tired of me complaining. Lol. Guess I ain't the only one feeling like this.
"I am glad I finally decided to let go of a friendship that is brain draining.. I am dead tired trying to be who I am not, and thinking that I am always the one at fault.. I deserve so much better!!"
Friend's Facebook Status
What are u supposed to do? What do I want from me?

There are ppl who are born smart. And there are ppl like me who have to study. And I guess I've had enough. Enough of studying like a crazy nerd everyday, forsaking my social life and every little bit of pleasure in the process, and seeing all that hard work and effort not pay off. Its physically and mentally tiring. Of course I don't expect instant yields per se. But seeing that my constant nerding still makes me a clueless ass about everything and having disappointing returns week in week out just makes me wanna not try so hard anymore. So much input, no output. And others who seem to not give a damn about studies reap all the rewards they never sowed. It ain't about jealousy. Just unfairness. I'm too tired of everything. I just feel like giving up.

Lost Then Found...and Lost again

Yours truly is back. I've finally decided to heed the calls of my hundreds of loyal fans and return to cyberspace. Ok I lied i dun have hundreds of fans. Maybe only 2 or 3. :P . So bloody much has happened since uni started. Gosh where do I start. Uni. It's mind- boggling how I've been studying everyday for hours and yet I can never seem to keep pace with the schedule; I'm always 1/2 weeks behind. And certain ppl in Monash really shd take certain courses to enable them to be more proficient in specific fields. Not gonna name anyone cos I dun wanna get sued for sedition lol. BUT!

Someone has to stop saying "can you see or not" every 30 seconds.
Someone has to pronounce individual as "individual" and not "individiu".
Someone has to stop saying that the unit she is lecturing is boring. What kinda lecturer derides her own unit?
Whoever wrote the AFW1002 textbook should be sued (but I tink they're dead already). So many bloody mistakes. Glaring ones like "appplied".

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* Saw someone in lecture that looks like a freakin hybrid of me and another friend. Of cos that fella was good looking, tho his dress sense needs a lil twerkin. Lol.

*Getting creeped out by somene's supposed physicness. It's like our minds are completely connected.

* Made the biggest mistake I've ever made this year.

* What happened to sexyback? Well, I know she was My Love, but I doubt it was just a Summer Love, but maybe What Goes Around Comes Around and although I may still be Lovestoned this love aint gonna last Until The End Of Time:(

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My new room. Ok I didn't shift places. And its stupid to say new cos thrs no old pics to compare it with. But those of u who knows what my room looked like before will know the diff. Actually thr's not much.




The overall 'modifications' and 'renovations' of the room included that young boy sleeping. He was part of the renovation package. That's me roomie. :) Housemate turned Roommate turned Stranger turned Crashmate and now back to Roommate again. Got more scandalous pix of this fella but the pix are copyrighted so cant post anyhow and anywhere.

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What's the diff between a bitch and a pessimist? A bitch just talks shit about ppl beind their backs cos they're bored of their own lame lives and their sole misson in life is to destroy the lives of others. A pessimist just sees the bad/darker side of things, but he/she may be a good person.

Being a pessimist, I tend to always look on the dark side of life; every aspect of it. I don't hate things. I just see the bad in things, even the good ones. Like friends....

* You and I had not had any probs/bust-ups for ages. That's a good thing. But it probably is because we have not been close enough recently to have any disagreements. Yes, we've drifted.

* Personal talks seem harder with you now. There seems to be a wall between us, and any effort made to break it down always fails.. Trust is decreasing. The fun times are there, but so are the 'shit' ones. You seem to value nothing and no one, other than yourself.

* You tend to bullshit alot. Then again who doesn't. Called me your "best friend" once. [LOL]. You just seem to be changing perpetually, and it gves rise to the notion that you are fake. Then again, maybe its just my imagination.

* There's all the hoping and waiting and patience. And in the end nothing ever seems to materialise. Like the first one, there seems to be no problems with us because we've not been close enough.

* I've overlooked what everyone's been dishing about you - all the crap, shit, derisive comments- because you're close to me. Friends give and take, and accept each other's flaws. But sometimes, you just have to overdo it, and your mannerisms can irk even the most patient and kind of hearts. I prefer you acting 'old'.

* You used to be a saviour to me. Now, you just seem to be a nobody.

Everyone has their bad points. Heck, I'm emo, display attitude etc. And yes I love my friends but as mentioned, I always look on the dark side of life. I'm still wondering how I should be....

Current Mood: Frustrated

Current Songs:

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

According To You - Orianthi

Uprising - Muse

Today Was A Fairytale - Taylor Swift

Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston

Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore

Solo - IYAZ