Suffer In Silence

Some bonds are unspoken
Some bonds are unbroken
They can't be penetrated
They leave you frustrated
What do we do?
We suffer in silence.

We give them our all
We're there when they fall
But once they get up
You find yourself shut out
What can we do?
We suffer in silence.

Words are shared and emotions run high
Yet everything ends with a sigh
Despite their faults and all your tries
Seen by all except their eyes
What's there to do?
We suffer in silence.

Priorities are set
Your expectations aren't met
They're most important to you
Yet they don't have a clue
What's left to do?
We suffer in silence.

Pointless arguments and stupid fights
About who is wrong and who is right
And yet nothing enters their heads
Because those bonds have made them dead
Screams reverberate inside
We suffer in silence.

Those bonds have higher value
Forces defeat for you
Hands tied and lips sealed
Given a very sorrowful deal
Nothing we can do
We suffer in silence

Once the dust settles
Your mind's going mental
Cos nothing you've done
Can change what's gone
And in the end
We suffer in silence.

This is dedicated to someone. You know who you are. Hope things get better.

S.I.G.H

Perhaps its watching too much of Survivor that made this hell of a home feel like a Survivor campsite - gotta be careful who u can trust, watch out for those who stab u in the back, those who bitch about u and u gotta pray u dont get targeted. Such is the state of hell I'm in right now that even when I cannot possibly lose anymore, things can still get worse and descend to levels I could never fathom. Home? Family? Sigh. Stupid Ignorant Gay House.

And its really troubling to know how assholic, repulsive and plain fucked up certain human beings can be. The following video is DISTURBING. Can cause your heart to break, and yr eyes to tear. I know mine nearly did. Completely inhumane.

This Lithuanian fucker had a problem with this dog, named Pepper, who had apparently disturbed his mother. He stole Pepper from his neighbour and wanted to prove that "dogs can fly" as revenge. Pepper miraculously survives, but unfortunately it succumbed to its massive injuries a week later. A global internet campaign to find and arrest this jackass proved successful after he was nabbed in Sweden. Sadly, he was only charged for animal cruelty and faced 1 year imprisonment. Jail is probably too good for this motherfucker of a human who should be thrown off the same bridge and have his body run over by a giant truck. ASSHOLE.

Automatic Systematic Problematic So Dramatic

The classic adage that "friends come and go but family remains forever" will always hold true to a certain extent, but personally, ive experienced enough to challenge this notion which i deem fallible. As independent as one may be, they will at some point need support - no one is omnipotent etc - and well, friends have basically provided that more than family has for the past few years. And there comes a point when even indifference cannot make the pain go away and the capacity to overlook everything is replete with and taken over by anger and hate. I cannot take anymore of all this shit. And its come to the point where Ive nothing else to say except I sincerely hate u.

Came across this article. One measure of judging how much u mean to someone or how close u are to them arises in the form of when u are facing a problem. Kinda coincidental cos I can pretty much relate to it right now. But its just a general concept since the fundamentals and dynamics of life cannot be grasped and understood easily.
If a friend knows you have a problem and responds with "I'm sorry to hear that", "Damn that sucks" or its apropos, chances are that person doesn't really care about the ongoings in your life and is probably not close with you at all. You don't mean much to him/her.
If that friend's response is "Wish I could help you" or anything related along that line, he/she is probably close and does care about you but not enough. The "wish" is merely a veneer to mask the fact that action speaks louder than words.
When a friend lets his/her action do the talking in the form of advice or material help, you probably mean a lot to that person for them to want to bail you out of the trouble you are having. He/she is probably a very close friend.

Having said that, the above measure may/may not be accurate and the only way u get to judge someone is once uve gotten to know em and all. An example is that a stranger may know your problem and may offer help. That does not make him/her yr close friend, but it does imply that he/she is a good person.

It sux tryna free yourself from a maze when every exit u find is immediately slammed shut in your face and ur back to where u started, only worse off cos there are fewer exits to escape from. But its nice to know that in the darkest of times, when all hope seems lost, there are certain people you know you can always turn to. (sounds like a Mariah Carey song...)
Been ever helpful. Jolly. Unwaveringly nice. Boy, I am omni-thankful. Little itsy me. Touched. Surprisingly united. Always nearly nutty. Alas, never getta mingle, interact. Nevermind, go slowly. Hopefully establish now.

I've found my avatar, XsXsX. And no "it" is not in Pandora.

I seriously need some light in this shitty hellhole. Im losing my mind. Thankfully there are few 'angels' keeping me sane. Needless to say I love em. But for one, without hugs and kisses. LOL.

Current Songs:
王妃 - Jam Hsiao
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Take It Off - Ke$ha
Hard - Rihanna
All Or Nothing - Jay Sean

Fark?

2009 Ended on a High. With Clubbing.
2010 Started ominously. With Death.
And as of 05 January 2010 1550hrs, I am in the worst place I've ever been. And there's no way back from this. It's a downward spiral from here on.