Suffer In Silence

Some bonds are unspoken
Some bonds are unbroken
They can't be penetrated
They leave you frustrated
What do we do?
We suffer in silence.

We give them our all
We're there when they fall
But once they get up
You find yourself shut out
What can we do?
We suffer in silence.

Words are shared and emotions run high
Yet everything ends with a sigh
Despite their faults and all your tries
Seen by all except their eyes
What's there to do?
We suffer in silence.

Priorities are set
Your expectations aren't met
They're most important to you
Yet they don't have a clue
What's left to do?
We suffer in silence.

Pointless arguments and stupid fights
About who is wrong and who is right
And yet nothing enters their heads
Because those bonds have made them dead
Screams reverberate inside
We suffer in silence.

Those bonds have higher value
Forces defeat for you
Hands tied and lips sealed
Given a very sorrowful deal
Nothing we can do
We suffer in silence

Once the dust settles
Your mind's going mental
Cos nothing you've done
Can change what's gone
And in the end
We suffer in silence.

This is dedicated to someone. You know who you are. Hope things get better.

S.I.G.H

Perhaps its watching too much of Survivor that made this hell of a home feel like a Survivor campsite - gotta be careful who u can trust, watch out for those who stab u in the back, those who bitch about u and u gotta pray u dont get targeted. Such is the state of hell I'm in right now that even when I cannot possibly lose anymore, things can still get worse and descend to levels I could never fathom. Home? Family? Sigh. Stupid Ignorant Gay House.

And its really troubling to know how assholic, repulsive and plain fucked up certain human beings can be. The following video is DISTURBING. Can cause your heart to break, and yr eyes to tear. I know mine nearly did. Completely inhumane.

This Lithuanian fucker had a problem with this dog, named Pepper, who had apparently disturbed his mother. He stole Pepper from his neighbour and wanted to prove that "dogs can fly" as revenge. Pepper miraculously survives, but unfortunately it succumbed to its massive injuries a week later. A global internet campaign to find and arrest this jackass proved successful after he was nabbed in Sweden. Sadly, he was only charged for animal cruelty and faced 1 year imprisonment. Jail is probably too good for this motherfucker of a human who should be thrown off the same bridge and have his body run over by a giant truck. ASSHOLE.

Automatic Systematic Problematic So Dramatic

The classic adage that "friends come and go but family remains forever" will always hold true to a certain extent, but personally, ive experienced enough to challenge this notion which i deem fallible. As independent as one may be, they will at some point need support - no one is omnipotent etc - and well, friends have basically provided that more than family has for the past few years. And there comes a point when even indifference cannot make the pain go away and the capacity to overlook everything is replete with and taken over by anger and hate. I cannot take anymore of all this shit. And its come to the point where Ive nothing else to say except I sincerely hate u.

Came across this article. One measure of judging how much u mean to someone or how close u are to them arises in the form of when u are facing a problem. Kinda coincidental cos I can pretty much relate to it right now. But its just a general concept since the fundamentals and dynamics of life cannot be grasped and understood easily.
If a friend knows you have a problem and responds with "I'm sorry to hear that", "Damn that sucks" or its apropos, chances are that person doesn't really care about the ongoings in your life and is probably not close with you at all. You don't mean much to him/her.
If that friend's response is "Wish I could help you" or anything related along that line, he/she is probably close and does care about you but not enough. The "wish" is merely a veneer to mask the fact that action speaks louder than words.
When a friend lets his/her action do the talking in the form of advice or material help, you probably mean a lot to that person for them to want to bail you out of the trouble you are having. He/she is probably a very close friend.

Having said that, the above measure may/may not be accurate and the only way u get to judge someone is once uve gotten to know em and all. An example is that a stranger may know your problem and may offer help. That does not make him/her yr close friend, but it does imply that he/she is a good person.

It sux tryna free yourself from a maze when every exit u find is immediately slammed shut in your face and ur back to where u started, only worse off cos there are fewer exits to escape from. But its nice to know that in the darkest of times, when all hope seems lost, there are certain people you know you can always turn to. (sounds like a Mariah Carey song...)
Been ever helpful. Jolly. Unwaveringly nice. Boy, I am omni-thankful. Little itsy me. Touched. Surprisingly united. Always nearly nutty. Alas, never getta mingle, interact. Nevermind, go slowly. Hopefully establish now.

I've found my avatar, XsXsX. And no "it" is not in Pandora.

I seriously need some light in this shitty hellhole. Im losing my mind. Thankfully there are few 'angels' keeping me sane. Needless to say I love em. But for one, without hugs and kisses. LOL.

Current Songs:
王妃 - Jam Hsiao
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Take It Off - Ke$ha
Hard - Rihanna
All Or Nothing - Jay Sean

Fark?

2009 Ended on a High. With Clubbing.
2010 Started ominously. With Death.
And as of 05 January 2010 1550hrs, I am in the worst place I've ever been. And there's no way back from this. It's a downward spiral from here on.

Goodbye 2009

Yet another year is on the brink of being history as we usher in the year 2010. This would probably be the last post of 2009 for me, and Id like to take a look at the highs and lows of a rather tumultuous year.

* Most Embarrassing moment:
Without a doubt, having my privates exposed and seen by someone. TWICE.

* Most Emo moment:
2 I can remember among many, but prolly has to be the late Jan-March period. Wont go into detail.

* Most Hyper moment:
Guess it has to be any of the Bohos we had. Specially with Mich.

* Most Angry moment:
Accounts Exam in Monash. Lol

* Most Happy moment:
August. The month seemed drama-free. And also a certain week of January.

* Most Lame moment:
There are gazillions, but the lamest has to be the secretive convos and "thpathtic" times with Ann.

* Most Nerd moment:
Sep- Nov. DUH.

* Most Nice moment:
Helpin someone with Research Paper and assignment. There's something about seeing your help not get wasted and eventually paying off for that someone. Feels good.

* Most Evil moment:
Giving unnecessary attitude to 2 ppl. One during MUFY another in Monash.

* Most Memorable moment:
Same as the embarrassing moment. Having my d*** seen at CLOSE RANGE for few seconds. As bloody embarrassing as it was, it was an awkwardly funny moment and one hard to forget too.

* Most Emo Song:
No doubt Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone

* Most Catchy Song:
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

* Most Happy Song:
Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

* Most Peaceful Song
Owl City - Fireflies

Lessons learnt in 2009:
* When you get beaten down, fight to pick yourself up no matter how hard it is, or how bad the situation is.
* Choose friendships wisely. Friends are one of the vital pillars and aspects of our lives, and not having proper friends can be dangerous. Keep your good friends close.
* Do not be generous with kindness. Too little is not good for others, but too much is not good for yourself.

Hēi Sè Yōu Mò

Thrs been one song that has been stuck in my head for few weeks now already. If you'd noticed, sometimes Id have a lil "current songs" section in me posts. these are the songs that are stuck in my head for that period of time. But this one song really caught my attention. Its not catchy, and thrs no like super audio effects or wadever. You might even call it boring. and, its not even in english. Well, the song is the title of this post. By Jay Chou. Means Black Humour. I think. The song has alot of raw emotions, and i guess, me being emo, tts y it attracted me. Anywaes, the lyrics are pretty meaningful. Kinda applies to certain aspects of my life right now.

難過
是因為悶了很久
是因為想了太多
是心理起了作用
你說 苦笑常常陪著你
在一起有點勉強
該不該現在休了我
不想太多
我想一定是我
聽錯弄錯搞錯
拜託 我想是你的腦袋有問題
隨便說說
其實我早已經猜透看透不想多說
只是我怕眼淚撐不住
不懂 你的黑色幽默
想通 卻又再考倒我
說散 你想很久了吧
我不想拆穿你
當作 是你開的玩笑
想通 卻又再考倒我
說散 你想很久了吧
敗給你的黑色幽默
說散 你想很久了吧
我的認真敗給黑色幽默

First, I aint sure if the chinese characters are right. C'mon I don read/write chinese.

Second, I dont tink this is the full song cos thrs a repeat in the verse.

Third, Im not gonna translate it if u cant read chinese/mandarin. If u wanna know go bother findin out yrself lol (and i know u wont bother haha)

No song has got me "emotionally attached" [sounds really gay] like this song. Other songs that had were An Jing (oso Jay Chou) and Already Gone (Kelly Clarkson)

Other Current Songs:

I See You (Leona Lewis)

Hard (Rihanna Feat Jeezy)

Heaven Can Wait (We The Kings)

Morning After Dark/If We Ever Meet Again (Timbaland)

Love Me/One Less Lonely Girl (Justin Bieber)

Straight Through My Heart (Backstreet Boys)

In My Head (Jason DeRulo)

Rock That Body (Black Eyed Peas)

Rights

Just cos we're hot/gd-looking does it give us the right to say others are ugly?
Just cos we're smart does it give us the right to say others are stupid?
Just cos we're tall does it give us the right to say others are short?
Just cos we're slim does it give us the right to say others are fat?
Just cos we're rich does it give us the right to say others are poor?
It doesn't.

Just cos we're older than others does it give them the right to say we're old?
Jus cos we hang out alot with the opposite sex does it give others the right to label us playboy/flirt?
Just cos we wear short skirts and high heels does it give others the right to call us prostitutes?
Just cos we had several boyfriends in a year does it give others the right to say we're sluts?
Just cos we wear specs and don have cool spunky hair does it give others the right to label us nerds?
Just cos we're not acutely aware of our surroundings and ongoings does it give others the right to claim that we're dumb?
Just cos we're not friendly does it give others the right to say that we're arrogant?
It doesn't.

Quit Labelling. And narrow perspectives. It does more than just make u look like an ass.