Penderitaan Dalam Kesunyian....lol

In the past, whenever fights/arguments/misunderstandings occured, we always apologised first, whether we were right or wrong. Why? Because the value of the friendship/relationship was more than the value of our pride - it didn't matter that we "lose face" by apologising first, as long as it kept that friendship intact and strong. But not anymore. The days of us always apologising first has to go, and gone it has. It's not because the value of the friendship has decreased, or that the value of our pride has increased; it's simply cos constantly apologising will only cover the source of the real problem by making things seem as though they are okay again, when they really aren't. The message won't get across and people won't ever understand cos our apologies make them think that everything is ok and its been done and dusted. It's not, and the sad part is, it probably never will be.

It's impossible to give your attention to every single person in your life; those closer to you will indefinitely recieve more of yours, and those that aren't may receive less or none at all. You don't mean to be mean, but that's how it is. But sometimes pre-destined priorities or bonds that have been set make this rather tricky, complicated and ultimately frustrating. Someone may mean the world to you, but to that person, you are just "somebody else". They have a silent obligation, a "circle" in which they are forever bonded with and in, and we are forever on the outside, trying desperately to find a way to get in, but to no avail. Whatever we do for them only brings us to the surface of that circle, but never inside. While those on the inside remain inside even if they are complete assholes. There's just no way to break this circle, and that's the sorrowful deal we've been dealt. Talking to them about it won't do you any good. Why? Cos they'll deny it, an argument will break out, and you're forced to never bring it up again. So what do we do? We suffer in silence. BUT that does not mean we'll allow it. We just pick ourselves up and fight back. In silence. And the day that we are truly gone from your lives, you may not even care, or it will be the day you will finally realise and regret.