So in abt 12 hrs plus I shd be on/in the bus on the wae back to KL..and i cant wait for that..I dunno if its jus me (yes i tink its jus me), but i cant wait to get back to KL and college..won't normal ppl jus wanna stay home and not go to school and all? ppl i know are alwaes wanting to go home and yet i had the luxury of havin an extended break, albiet unofficially,and im whining and crying (non literal) abt going back..yes im definitely alien..
Signs of me being an alien:
-One meal can last me 2 days
-Ppl drink 7-8 glasses of water a day, I drink one in 7 days (sometimes less)
-I rarely understand ppl's emotion
-I have weird emotions and way of thinking
-Lame and Retarded are my best friends (to the very extreme its disturbing)
-And perhaps the most obvious one of em is the 2 antennas on my head
Im sure there are many more signs but this is what i can rmb...
During the break (official one week one), I barely did any studying, no thx to my wound (which has kinda healed tremendously and i can now walk without lookin like an oldie), but i also din study durin the extended period..all i did was slack at home by random onlining...and so i begun to get really worried cos id never missed class prior to this and i have a problem of playin catch up (not cos of my wound...ok lame)..so i donno if missin three days of school will harm my momentum...well i think ive been doin kinda ok in school (as compared to sec school whr i jus fooled ard and basically din study) and im hopin i can cope..ppl keep insisting tt im smart and i can cope ezily and honestly i get a lil pissed at that..i know for a fact im not smart..i jus follow lectures and do hw.. with finals jus a month or less away god knows i cant afford to slack ard as much as i did b4..but damn were those times of endless hrs slackin in coll with foofoo and nunu fun...i make it seem as if it was a long time ago and tt itll nvr happen again..lol..oh, and i realised tt i never actually luff out loud, let alone luff, wen i type lol (does anyone ever?), so i decided to change lol to cis-cryin in softly..yes im that lame (refer to point 5 under Signs of me being alien)
I donno why i keep worrying and thinkin about every damn thing my pathetic brain can tink of and worry abt..i can never seem to relax and im sure theres some psychological problem with me..i alwaes believed i was dropped on my head wen i was born..either that or im really mentally retarded and not know it..(do mentally retarded ppl know theyre mentally retarded?)... and as if my deteriorating hearing isnt bad enuf, my once self-praised perfect eyesight has decided to join my hearing in being afflicted.. i have to wear specs..i look weird and i feel weirder..pretty soon my nose will get worse and so will my tongue...and finally ill lose my sense of touch.. then ill be a complete alien..oh i geddit now its all the process of Alienization (see how extremely lame i can get? it's worrying)
There's so many things running thru my mind and frankly its drivin me nuts..(i am mentally retarded)...i jus wish for ONCE i can stop worrying abt something but i guess its jus the way im wired..one thing that alwaes envelopes my mind is the thought of being nice to someone..if i SHD actually be nice to ppl..ive had this thing so many times where ppl take advantage of my niceness and walk all over me..I swear nvr to be nice to ppl but wat do u know? Somehow or other i end up bein nice to em..again its jus the way im wired.. does bein nice really pay? i mean yea niceness shd be sincere and blah blah but theres so much one person..or alien..can take.. ok now im being tad emo.. maybe more than tad...and this is jus ONE thing that perpetually bothers me..of coz there are other things like college and studies and still other things that take centrestage in my mind but i feel lazy to type em out..anywae its not like ppl will actually read this long shit or like advice will drop from the sky..even if it did i reckon it will miss my head and drop to the floor..
I really hope that i can regain my momentum in school and start puttin in more effort in studying and reduce the slacking, fun as it was..hopefully the reduced slacking doesnt ruffle some feathers...knowin things it prolly will...but i guess i have to deal with it wen..and IF..it happens..hopefully it duzn..i got too much crap to deal with already...im gonna start packin my stuff then wash up and head for bed..hopefully i get a good day tmr considerin the past few days have been pretty fucked up.. ciao...
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