As if Work Ain't stressin' Me Enuf, U Gotta Dump more Crap on Me

I guess Nick was right after all. I shdnt have come back. And i guess I was wrong after all. I shd never have returned. Stupid circumstances just make a fuckin mockery of my life right now. And i don't know where to start.

It really kills me that last sem's results wont be counted. AT ALL. "Last semester's results will be pushed one side. It won't be touched anymore. Monash will only look at your internal marks for entry" (Lee, 2009). And what counts now is what i can't do. or is struggling really hard with. it jus makes the reason for my return void. and work is piling so much im on the verge of just lettin it all go and flunkin everything. sigh.
stuck on Consumption function (or was it AE sth?) for 3 hrs today, and another 2 last nite. fuck econs. don even start on math. oh wait i cant. hah funnneeeee. i cant achieve wad u want me to achieve. i cant match their superior and high standards. accept it will ya and get over the fact im not a smartass like they are.

i could prolly have completed RP in sunway. and skip home. its startin all over again. im freakin 21. not 12. treat me like an adult. or at least do wad uve been doin for the better part of yr lives and ignore me. silence is golden. id rather have yr silence than derision. ive a limit to takin crap ok. i give u respect y cant u freakin hell do the same? wen i ask u for $, its cos i fuckin hell need it, not cos im money minded dammit. ive rarely asked u for money and fuck ive given u so much wen u needed it. and i din complain nor did i ask for it in return. cos yr my parent. but apparently i aint yr son. 300 lasts me just 2 weeks maybe. stop avoiding the qns and "see how" or "soon" answers. "soon" has been waitin since september last year. ive used almost all i have, and im down to the bare minimum. u want evidence? too see it with yr own eyes that im completely burnt b4 finally deciding to give me access to basic necessities? stop givin me things that i don need, and just give me wad i need. tts ALL i ask for. fuck ur controlling every friggin part of my life. y do u guys ease off on the others, and go all hard on me? u shd have access to this blog. maybe its the only way i can get thru to u. cos i don feel like yr son, and heaven forbid u aint actin like my parents. it cld be down to

1) me being adopted

2) me really being an alien (i tink its this one. how on earth can i stuff myself daily with all the junk in the world and LOSE 3 kg in 6 days?)

home feels like hell. sunway feels like hell. surely i can find one place of solitude to escape this crazy madness. its lame to blog abt it, but i jus need a friggin outlet. dun wanna bother ppl with self-pity emo-y grandmother stories. as of now the only thing i can hold on to are my sibs and frens. But even then things don stay good for long. in my case at least. thrs just no point. really.