I asked thrice. 2nd was Invisible (Ashlee Simpson), 3rd was Hit Me With Your Light (Ryan Cabrera). lets ask a fourth and see if it really works... Stop This World (Ne-Yo)..sigh...(u assholes who don get wad im talkin abt can jus fuck off). i cant continue complaining and talking abt IT (actually I can but thing is theres no point.) wads the use if the person who u intend to tell it to doesnt listen.furthermore theres no opp to tell it. its pointless. this is by far the worst feeling ive ever felt.no one had managed to make me damn upset like this. its so damn diff from last yr and its killing me so bloody much. i really don tink i can continue the facade any longer. its damn hard to look and feel happy wen that THING is bothering me so much. how fast can things change man? i feel like a freakin stranger (secondhand serenade confirmed it).or maybe its jus me. mayb i brot it upon myself. i dont know. i jus know i wanna talk it out with that person but...sian..i just cant.. since wen did it become like this...so hard to talk?wen that whole move occured? definitely. no one has ever had an effect on me like this ever...i really shd stop this crap and study..right thats another issue...
Since sem 2 started ive not gotten my momentum going and im barely finishing hw, barely understanding anything and not studying. i cant catch up the shit i missed and paying attention in class doesnt do any good cos everythings confusing. which brings me to the point tt i shd never have returned at all. im jus gonna flunk all my tests and exams and shit. why why why. its all going back to sec school all over again.
went to palmville again and this time it was better. thks to Nick. Right now he's one of the ppl keeping me sane. swam with him for abt an hr and it was awesome just talking and bonding with him. haven really done that since ages after a couple of things happened and all. whole feeling was great but at the same time it cant really cure the shit feeling i have inside regarding the other person. and it got worse there. like a confirmation. i was just feelin like fuck. and im helpless. in truth now more than ever everything mentioned b4 looked like lies. i tell myself its not. but the way he acts is so damn diff man tt i jus dont know wad to do anymore. he used to be the only one keepin me going. now hes the only one makin me emo and shit. fuck man.
"She was lost
In so many different ways
Out in the darkness with no guide
I know the cost of a losing hand
Never for the grace of God
I've been alone
When I'm surrounded by friends
How could the silence be so loud
But I still go home knowing that I've got you
There's only us when lights go down
Sometimes love can come and pass you by
While your busy making plans
Suddenly hit you and then you realize
It's out of your hands
Baby you got to understand"
"Ave Maria"- Beyoncé
"And I wanna believe you
When you tell me
That it'll be ok
Yeah I try to believe you
But I don't
When you say that it's gonna be
It always turns out to be a different way
I try to believe you
Not today today today today today
I don't know how I'll feel
Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
Is a different day
It's always been up to you
It's turning around it's up to me
I'm gonna do what I have to do
Just don't
Give me a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe it's not too late
Not today today today today today
Tomorrow it may change"
"Tomorrow"- Avril Lavigne
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