Couple hrs to decide. after subtracting sleeping time. its now or never.the number of days spent tinking. decision still far from made. cmon man. someone jus slap me and tell me wad to do.
Yes
Get cert.
No
No more alien language (finally!).
Boring hostel life(emo-ing in room starin at walls).
Money won't flow out like water(save wadever cents i have left).
Well......
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Decode, Decide (2)
....Or maybe not..that was just one scenario. had a nightmare last night. ok it wasnt a nightmare, but it wasnt a pleasant dream. it was about the very near future, IF i return to snwy. The glimpse into the future wasnt very nice, and tt is how its gonna be from now on if i were to step foot thr again. dont tink ill be able to take all tt ever again. its really too much. and it was never my choice. so yeah. not heading back at all. id rather be w my bro. he just makes me feel like theres not a worry in the world, and i can picture myself just bein with him enjoyin life. wadever it is, ive abt 24 hrs to decide. tts not long.
Went back home again
This sucks gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on everything
"Mobile"- Avril Lavigne
Went back home again
This sucks gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on everything
"Mobile"- Avril Lavigne
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Decode, Decide
Jut one letter can mean so much. Change one letter and the meaning of the word is completely different. Sunway. Run(a)way. ok tts not really it but still applies. First word had been my home for the past 7 months. Second one means leaving tt goddamn shithole forever.
No one had mocked my hair. Ever. Ok there was once in sec school wen i was 14, had a crew cut and was fat. My buddy called me a monkey. Since then, Ive gotten much hotter. Haha wth. self praisin asshole me. So anywaes, of late my hair had garnered negative comments.my eldest bro said i currently look like a mophead. if he turned me upside down he can use my hair as a mop. wth. now i know how JB felt last sem, tho mine isnt so extreme. B4 this, Tom said i look like a coconut, hence the name coconut head was derived. sigh. prior to tt, JB's sis said i looked like a monkey, my hat hair not helpin. sigh. wtf man.
so anywaes, eldest bro went back aussie todae. felt so bloody sad. tho id not seen him in years, he jus possessed this magical quality tt endeared me to him so much. like he single handedly made us feel like a family. i cld talk to him so ezily. he really brightened up the past few days. and now hes gone. ppl alwaes leave.i guess i shd too.
Been really bothered abt my future. Stay? Go? This time, the decision was solely in my hands, and damn my indecisive nature. I needed sth to sway my decision. and sth did. and ultimately the decision was really easy. Chatted w JB online and he was askin me to stay and shit cos i tol him i wasn comin back at all. then i tot tt i can just tahan for another few months and complete mufy, then at least i can be with my bro in aussie with a full mufy cert, and not a half sem one. i wont lie. hostel life is gonna suck real bad, and im gonna miss JB n Nick crazy, but hey, another few months right. Wat the hell was i tinkin this whole time. Quitting and all. No way man. Ditto Nick. Sunway, here I come :)
No one had mocked my hair. Ever. Ok there was once in sec school wen i was 14, had a crew cut and was fat. My buddy called me a monkey. Since then, Ive gotten much hotter. Haha wth. self praisin asshole me. So anywaes, of late my hair had garnered negative comments.my eldest bro said i currently look like a mophead. if he turned me upside down he can use my hair as a mop. wth. now i know how JB felt last sem, tho mine isnt so extreme. B4 this, Tom said i look like a coconut, hence the name coconut head was derived. sigh. prior to tt, JB's sis said i looked like a monkey, my hat hair not helpin. sigh. wtf man.
so anywaes, eldest bro went back aussie todae. felt so bloody sad. tho id not seen him in years, he jus possessed this magical quality tt endeared me to him so much. like he single handedly made us feel like a family. i cld talk to him so ezily. he really brightened up the past few days. and now hes gone. ppl alwaes leave.i guess i shd too.
Been really bothered abt my future. Stay? Go? This time, the decision was solely in my hands, and damn my indecisive nature. I needed sth to sway my decision. and sth did. and ultimately the decision was really easy. Chatted w JB online and he was askin me to stay and shit cos i tol him i wasn comin back at all. then i tot tt i can just tahan for another few months and complete mufy, then at least i can be with my bro in aussie with a full mufy cert, and not a half sem one. i wont lie. hostel life is gonna suck real bad, and im gonna miss JB n Nick crazy, but hey, another few months right. Wat the hell was i tinkin this whole time. Quitting and all. No way man. Ditto Nick. Sunway, here I come :)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Broken Strings
Parents don't know everything. And what they do might not necessarily be right. Sometimes they just need sth to wake em up. ok, b4 being accused of generalising, the above was only aimed at my parents. tho the return of my bro from aussie coincided with us feelin like a family, my parents had to spoil tt. or mayb its just me.
its the 2nd day of cny, and from experience shops will still be closed. mom insisted tt theyll be open cos its already the 2nd day. so i was kinda forced to go, tho i adamantly insisted most shops wd be closed. i was right. but i cldn gloat in victory cos i was kinda pissed off at me parents. gazillionth time. i reallie tink im adopted. everyone in me family looks and acts normal. cept me. i don have any of my parents' traits. or my siblings. none of em are "emo". speakin of, nick gave me these 2 emo vids to watch. they were creepy. if tt defined emo, then im definitely not it. im not tt extreme. woah.
So on the way to the mall, my dad spots this malay couple sitting on a bench chit chatting. they looked teenager-ish. sadly i cant say the same for myself no more. then my dad made this ridiculous remark abt how malays are "stupid", getting attached so young and getting all their priorities wrong and stuff, and tt prompted my mom to add "yeah la smoke oso and all". First, stop living in the past. this is 2009, not 1950. just cos ppl are hooking up duzn mean they are misprioritizing. wth. so all teenagers who have bfs/gfs are bad ppl/made wrong decisions? fuck, i dated anu twice. i wonder wad theyd say if they knew tt. if i had my dads ego i can tell him i dated anu and shove my xm results in his face. tt shd shut him up.
2nd, they gotta stop with the bloody misconception that smokers are bad ppl, and im not saying tt jus cos i do. tts one bloody mindset i want obliterated. if what my parents tink is true then me and my bro are indeed evil ppl. jus made me realise my parents dont know alot abt all of us after all, tinkin we're all angels. and my dad keeps preaching abt moral and religion and all when he himself doesnt practice what he preaches. bloody hypocrite. i sure hope i don grow up to be like him. oh well, ill prolly be a sad emo loner livin by myself peddling drugs. that or a terrorist.
During lunch/dinner, bro was talking abt aussie life. suddenly it din seem so appealing. then again, he seems to enjoy life there alot. but then againnnn, hes completely diff from me. hes sociable, acclimatizes and adapts to change easily and is optimistic. so i donno. i really donno what to do. another day passed, and my mind is no less clearer. im still confused as hell. i just need tt single breakthru in my mind tt will point the way for me. sian.
on the way back a couple of chinese boys were playing fireworks. mom mentioned y there arent reports of ppl gettin injured by fireworks during cny but yet durin hari raya many ppl do. hmmm.
its the 2nd day of cny, and from experience shops will still be closed. mom insisted tt theyll be open cos its already the 2nd day. so i was kinda forced to go, tho i adamantly insisted most shops wd be closed. i was right. but i cldn gloat in victory cos i was kinda pissed off at me parents. gazillionth time. i reallie tink im adopted. everyone in me family looks and acts normal. cept me. i don have any of my parents' traits. or my siblings. none of em are "emo". speakin of, nick gave me these 2 emo vids to watch. they were creepy. if tt defined emo, then im definitely not it. im not tt extreme. woah.
So on the way to the mall, my dad spots this malay couple sitting on a bench chit chatting. they looked teenager-ish. sadly i cant say the same for myself no more. then my dad made this ridiculous remark abt how malays are "stupid", getting attached so young and getting all their priorities wrong and stuff, and tt prompted my mom to add "yeah la smoke oso and all". First, stop living in the past. this is 2009, not 1950. just cos ppl are hooking up duzn mean they are misprioritizing. wth. so all teenagers who have bfs/gfs are bad ppl/made wrong decisions? fuck, i dated anu twice. i wonder wad theyd say if they knew tt. if i had my dads ego i can tell him i dated anu and shove my xm results in his face. tt shd shut him up.
2nd, they gotta stop with the bloody misconception that smokers are bad ppl, and im not saying tt jus cos i do. tts one bloody mindset i want obliterated. if what my parents tink is true then me and my bro are indeed evil ppl. jus made me realise my parents dont know alot abt all of us after all, tinkin we're all angels. and my dad keeps preaching abt moral and religion and all when he himself doesnt practice what he preaches. bloody hypocrite. i sure hope i don grow up to be like him. oh well, ill prolly be a sad emo loner livin by myself peddling drugs. that or a terrorist.
During lunch/dinner, bro was talking abt aussie life. suddenly it din seem so appealing. then again, he seems to enjoy life there alot. but then againnnn, hes completely diff from me. hes sociable, acclimatizes and adapts to change easily and is optimistic. so i donno. i really donno what to do. another day passed, and my mind is no less clearer. im still confused as hell. i just need tt single breakthru in my mind tt will point the way for me. sian.
on the way back a couple of chinese boys were playing fireworks. mom mentioned y there arent reports of ppl gettin injured by fireworks during cny but yet durin hari raya many ppl do. hmmm.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
Lady Gaga's album is pretty awesome. Most of her songs are nice. specially the above one. ok random.
Break is here, after so soon. Not tt im complaining. its a welcome relief after a really really heavy 3 weeks in school. but i guess i dont have to deal with tt anymore. cant bliv it. after months and months finally i have my way. but at times i still wonder. is this wat i really want? everytime i think of em my heart gets heavy. Been told to just finish it since im more than halfway done. true. but im never logical. and wenever i tink of me frens, i feel like returning. but i know once im there, im just gonna be pining to quit. wat the hell.
Everynight (or morning depending on wat time i sleep), i kinda spend hrs (yes, really) just thinkin. abt everything. especially my frens there. theres been a lot of downs lately but theyre still frens. and theyre really close. i guess cos i hang with em all the time theyre almost like a 2nd family (really weird chinese family with one malay dude). there's nick, whos been thru so much and at times got on my nerves really badly. but in the end he's still the same nick-the entertainer, guy who jus makes everything light. someone i look upon as my ygr bro. theres tsu ann and angela, lovely ladies who i can jus hang with and do nothin and still have fun. theres so many others who im indebted to. they know who they are. then there's JB. if i ever bliv in a best fren, hed be that person. actually he more or less is. hes never pissed me off, and alwaes makes my day better. i don tink ive ever been closer to anyone than him. theres so much more i can write but its just gonna go on and on and bore whoever reads this to death. Usually i don mention names in my posts but this time i just felt compelled to, i donno y.
The past two days have been pretty awesome, and its cos my eldest bro is back. after ages. for ONCE, we actually felt like a normal family. it was one of the greatest feelings ive ever felt. home was actually fun, dinner on sat was awesome. dinie came over last nite and joined us for supper. that was a blast. y cant everyday be like these 2 days. bros gonna head back to aussie on thurs. tts gonna be my destination too i guess.
i reckon the next few days are gonna be tough as hell. cos ill be wrestling my conscience. i donno y now that ive gotten exactly wad i wanted, i jus don feel overjoyed. c'mon man! be happy!....nope. sorry. it seems i cant please everyone, including meself. been doing some serious tinkin. i cant avoid studying forever. as much as i hate it. and if i complete mufy, ill prolly end up in aussie anywaes, just later. but to be in snwy and endure all tt? is it worth it? i don know. this is serious shit. and for once, the decision is in my hands cos all sides have given consent. its up to me now. i shd be pleased. but im not. its hard. and that sux.
Break is here, after so soon. Not tt im complaining. its a welcome relief after a really really heavy 3 weeks in school. but i guess i dont have to deal with tt anymore. cant bliv it. after months and months finally i have my way. but at times i still wonder. is this wat i really want? everytime i think of em my heart gets heavy. Been told to just finish it since im more than halfway done. true. but im never logical. and wenever i tink of me frens, i feel like returning. but i know once im there, im just gonna be pining to quit. wat the hell.
Everynight (or morning depending on wat time i sleep), i kinda spend hrs (yes, really) just thinkin. abt everything. especially my frens there. theres been a lot of downs lately but theyre still frens. and theyre really close. i guess cos i hang with em all the time theyre almost like a 2nd family (really weird chinese family with one malay dude). there's nick, whos been thru so much and at times got on my nerves really badly. but in the end he's still the same nick-the entertainer, guy who jus makes everything light. someone i look upon as my ygr bro. theres tsu ann and angela, lovely ladies who i can jus hang with and do nothin and still have fun. theres so many others who im indebted to. they know who they are. then there's JB. if i ever bliv in a best fren, hed be that person. actually he more or less is. hes never pissed me off, and alwaes makes my day better. i don tink ive ever been closer to anyone than him. theres so much more i can write but its just gonna go on and on and bore whoever reads this to death. Usually i don mention names in my posts but this time i just felt compelled to, i donno y.
The past two days have been pretty awesome, and its cos my eldest bro is back. after ages. for ONCE, we actually felt like a normal family. it was one of the greatest feelings ive ever felt. home was actually fun, dinner on sat was awesome. dinie came over last nite and joined us for supper. that was a blast. y cant everyday be like these 2 days. bros gonna head back to aussie on thurs. tts gonna be my destination too i guess.
i reckon the next few days are gonna be tough as hell. cos ill be wrestling my conscience. i donno y now that ive gotten exactly wad i wanted, i jus don feel overjoyed. c'mon man! be happy!....nope. sorry. it seems i cant please everyone, including meself. been doing some serious tinkin. i cant avoid studying forever. as much as i hate it. and if i complete mufy, ill prolly end up in aussie anywaes, just later. but to be in snwy and endure all tt? is it worth it? i don know. this is serious shit. and for once, the decision is in my hands cos all sides have given consent. its up to me now. i shd be pleased. but im not. its hard. and that sux.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
*The Great Division
When Moses parted the Red Sea thousands of years ago, the miraculous act could have signified a great disparity in modern times-sexism, any apropos of blasphemy removed. Debates have raged over certain stereotypes-females are bad drivers, men are insensitive and emotionless, men are smarter than women, females are more prudent and the list is practically endless. Such division has led to a double-standard, where unfair advantages are handed out to one of the two sexes. While this commonly occurs in offices, traces of this are present elsewhere too. Whether it is as extreme is another matter altogether.
Just under a week had passed since Sanya Dival and Hans Basil's messy break-up, and it seems the mentality "one cannot be friends with their exes" is holding true, at least for Hans. Amazing how his attitude towards one can change in an instant, from loving and passionate to nonchalant and at times, tactlessly cold. While they dated, Hans showered Sanya with attention, love and warmth. Now, ignorance is bliss for him as he chooses his friends over hers, the mandatory greeting the only words shared between them. Is this the end for the two? Judging from Sanya's direct approach, where she straighforwardly announced a make-up is not on the cards, it looks as though the end has indeed arrived. Unless Hans plans to charm his way back into her heart and light up more than her life.
Boys vs Girls. Girls vs Boys. There are times when the battle of the sexes emerge in a very subtle, yet conspicuous way. Lunch has usually been a gathering between friends, whenever they could make it. Yet, for the first time, the 'sex' card was played, albeit unintentionally. Diane Shine had planned to join Hans, John Bow, Nick Ivans, Sue Anne and Dan Wise for the usual. But her new BFF, Angie Flo hijacked her plans and offered a trip to Sunway Pyramid for a supposed Girls Day Out. Diane agreed, forsaking her lunch date with the others and causing a mini chain reaction. In the end, Sue felt compelled to oblige, and parted ways with the guys. Just a mere one-off event, or a subtle display of feminist strength to tip the power-struggle in their favour?
Another aspect of tipping some sort of advantage in one's favour was Hans' reliance on Sue. The pair were the only ones within the 'C-Clique' not well versed with the supposed common language. Hans could draw comfort from the knowledge of that fact, but it seems when Sue got in and Hans went out, so did her reliability.
Sanya wasn't the only one feeling Hans' indifference. Nick felt it too. Perhaps Sue did as well. While she had always stuck by Hans, she now had her own voice, and her own opinions. Hans may have been affected by the language until it caused his change in attitude, but Sue was not going down the same path. She was never gonna deny herself fun just because Hans denied his.
Letting down her hair on her last night in Sunway, she decided to club with her girlfriends. Seems Hans was no longer a factor in her decision-making process. Then again, an outsider never has a say in anything.
Secrets are never kept long. Anywhere. Hans had weaved and manouvered, schemed and acted his way through until the first holidays of the semester had dawned. Unfortunately, he flawed his own secret by virtue of his own carelessness. With Angie now in the know, Hans had to do everything in his power to ensure the cat was not let out of the bag a second time. He stuck to it initially, but soon he betrayed himself.
The last night spent as roommates turned sour as Hans revealed his shocking secret to a completely unsuspecting John, whose response was one of shock and disbelief. Knowing Hans' planned had failed the first time, he hoped it would the second. Sadly for him, he'll only discover if it was fact or fiction when break ends and semester restarts.
The last day of school before the week-long holiday and festivities was surprisingly subdued and quiet, perhaps dissemination of Hans' secret a causing factor. Angie got emotional, her last interaction with Hans being a simple hug. John's coping mechanism was that of plain ignorance. Sue soon caught wind of the news, and the words "I hate you" aimed at Hans flew off, dripping with anger and hatred. Obviously the news was not received well with anyone. But they should be hopeful. Just. And Hans should scale down from cloud nine. Because, as Angie thoughtfully pointed out, all plans that Hans makes never ever work out. Will his streak continue? Or will he manage to break the trend for once?
From the looks of it, it seems the signs seem to point to the former. His exit from Sunway was peppered with problems of all sorts- from missing a train due to crowd issues, subsequent trains being delayed and services stopped. In the end, he managed a way out, and returned home, just like Sue, John, Nick and Diane. Time will tell if all plans made would materialise, and if one's absence from the social scene would be felt.
It seems the holidays are not welcomed by all, with a division of opinions and emotions. Hans Basil could not wait for it enough, while Nick Ivans wanted it to end even before it started, such was his desire for college due to the ability to meet and hang out with his friends. Diane shared the same sentiments, expressing the fact that she would miss her friends, though she did not mind the holidays. For the rest, the holidays represented a time to rest and recuperate, catch up with family and celebrate their respective festivals. Once the holidays end though, things would never be the same again. That, is certain. What would change though, is not.
Just under a week had passed since Sanya Dival and Hans Basil's messy break-up, and it seems the mentality "one cannot be friends with their exes" is holding true, at least for Hans. Amazing how his attitude towards one can change in an instant, from loving and passionate to nonchalant and at times, tactlessly cold. While they dated, Hans showered Sanya with attention, love and warmth. Now, ignorance is bliss for him as he chooses his friends over hers, the mandatory greeting the only words shared between them. Is this the end for the two? Judging from Sanya's direct approach, where she straighforwardly announced a make-up is not on the cards, it looks as though the end has indeed arrived. Unless Hans plans to charm his way back into her heart and light up more than her life.
Boys vs Girls. Girls vs Boys. There are times when the battle of the sexes emerge in a very subtle, yet conspicuous way. Lunch has usually been a gathering between friends, whenever they could make it. Yet, for the first time, the 'sex' card was played, albeit unintentionally. Diane Shine had planned to join Hans, John Bow, Nick Ivans, Sue Anne and Dan Wise for the usual. But her new BFF, Angie Flo hijacked her plans and offered a trip to Sunway Pyramid for a supposed Girls Day Out. Diane agreed, forsaking her lunch date with the others and causing a mini chain reaction. In the end, Sue felt compelled to oblige, and parted ways with the guys. Just a mere one-off event, or a subtle display of feminist strength to tip the power-struggle in their favour?
Another aspect of tipping some sort of advantage in one's favour was Hans' reliance on Sue. The pair were the only ones within the 'C-Clique' not well versed with the supposed common language. Hans could draw comfort from the knowledge of that fact, but it seems when Sue got in and Hans went out, so did her reliability.
Sanya wasn't the only one feeling Hans' indifference. Nick felt it too. Perhaps Sue did as well. While she had always stuck by Hans, she now had her own voice, and her own opinions. Hans may have been affected by the language until it caused his change in attitude, but Sue was not going down the same path. She was never gonna deny herself fun just because Hans denied his.
Letting down her hair on her last night in Sunway, she decided to club with her girlfriends. Seems Hans was no longer a factor in her decision-making process. Then again, an outsider never has a say in anything.
Secrets are never kept long. Anywhere. Hans had weaved and manouvered, schemed and acted his way through until the first holidays of the semester had dawned. Unfortunately, he flawed his own secret by virtue of his own carelessness. With Angie now in the know, Hans had to do everything in his power to ensure the cat was not let out of the bag a second time. He stuck to it initially, but soon he betrayed himself.
The last night spent as roommates turned sour as Hans revealed his shocking secret to a completely unsuspecting John, whose response was one of shock and disbelief. Knowing Hans' planned had failed the first time, he hoped it would the second. Sadly for him, he'll only discover if it was fact or fiction when break ends and semester restarts.
The last day of school before the week-long holiday and festivities was surprisingly subdued and quiet, perhaps dissemination of Hans' secret a causing factor. Angie got emotional, her last interaction with Hans being a simple hug. John's coping mechanism was that of plain ignorance. Sue soon caught wind of the news, and the words "I hate you" aimed at Hans flew off, dripping with anger and hatred. Obviously the news was not received well with anyone. But they should be hopeful. Just. And Hans should scale down from cloud nine. Because, as Angie thoughtfully pointed out, all plans that Hans makes never ever work out. Will his streak continue? Or will he manage to break the trend for once?
From the looks of it, it seems the signs seem to point to the former. His exit from Sunway was peppered with problems of all sorts- from missing a train due to crowd issues, subsequent trains being delayed and services stopped. In the end, he managed a way out, and returned home, just like Sue, John, Nick and Diane. Time will tell if all plans made would materialise, and if one's absence from the social scene would be felt.
It seems the holidays are not welcomed by all, with a division of opinions and emotions. Hans Basil could not wait for it enough, while Nick Ivans wanted it to end even before it started, such was his desire for college due to the ability to meet and hang out with his friends. Diane shared the same sentiments, expressing the fact that she would miss her friends, though she did not mind the holidays. For the rest, the holidays represented a time to rest and recuperate, catch up with family and celebrate their respective festivals. Once the holidays end though, things would never be the same again. That, is certain. What would change though, is not.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
*Reminder
Posts with a * are based on true occurences, but not everything is fact. Those that are indeed factual may be exaggarated to a certain extent. It is advisable to not believe everything and read the posts purely for fun, laughter, peace and joy. Seriously.
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