Fark The Dark

So this had been my day to day activity BEFORE/DURING exams: Wake up, study/have exam, eat lunch, study/have exam, eat dinner, study, sleep.....This has been my current day to day activity AFTER exams: Wake up, online/swim, lunch, pool/Pyramid/swim, dinner, online, sleep. Dinner usually consisted of MacD, BK, Subway etc. Money flows out of me pocket like water while unhelathy crap flows into me tummy. Pretty soon im gonna turn into a fat piglet.

Yes, im so lame and pathetic that i have no life. After exams was sposed to be THE moment, but sadly, nothin went my way. Ok, not nothing. There were those odd times where i relived my old life with some other frens outside my regular circle. Those nights out were damn fun but they cldnt really be enjoyed cos of triffling irritants botherin my mind

Before exams, i had plans with my roomie to just slack and go out and spend money like crazy (not on food, tho that kinda took a large proportion of me $). Just after the exams, I kinda let my crazy retarded side out and i overreacted to a small issue that blew up. Guess my emotion was elastic- large change in emotions due to small issues. Ok cut the econs crap.

This was what happened: Couple of me frens, Anu and Angela planned to have lunch and go to ac with their frens (the bunch of ppl i drank and slacked with). They invited me, and apparently not my roomie (JB).I wasnt in the mood to hang out directly after econs, and so decided to go back with JB. He then persistently asked me y i din join em and stuff and i kept sayin i had no mood to go out. I then got mad at him for askin me so many times and i so agreed to go out just to shut him up. In the process i kinda gave him attitude...which lasted the entire day.. i came back at 10 and he asked me where i went. i was like "out" and ignored him. Pretty bitchy and unfair to him. After all he's my closest fren and ppl don usually treat frens like this. I guess im really an alien who jus duzn understand ppl's emotions. (one of my close frens back in spore said this..now i tink its true)..moreover my lil outbursts in the past have always ruffled feathers and caused unnecessary tension.. when the fark will i ever learn tt i gotta stop being so petulant...

So things between me and JB were kinda left cliffhanger-ish and it sux that the hols din go according to plan and i feel really bad that he had to waste few days cooped up in his room with nothin to do..oh well i cant turn back time can i..i hope i can turn my stinky attitude.. i dunno how ppl actually tolerate me..

So this is prolly one of the darkest ever phases of my life im going thru right now and its so apt that its during the hols..the irony... at least exams are over... and then theres the prob with my ex, anushya.. yea weve kinda broken up ages ago but im kinda dumbfounded y im still affected by wat she does... reading her blog and finding out shes 'dating' this so called fren of mine with really detailed descriptions of their smses and actions was like being stabbed in my head and heart... yes, we're no longer together but reading all that crazy shit just got to me..i donno y.. and it made me feel really pathetic and worthless..and, this sounds really bad, made her look like some cheap desperado.. oh well i don wanna start talking abt her..ok i kinda already did... and then theres the 'other' issue im not really sposed to talk abt... the most serious one of the three..but that one's completely outta my hands...

2dae's my last day in this hell hole and im while im glad to leave, im not really elated to be going home...prolly due to all the probs... i cant wait to meet all me frens back in spore and jus chill like old times..tho i really hope i don bring this side of me along..cos its only gonna hurt em and ive done enuf of that to last 2 lifetimes... im really amazed at my capacity to hold so much crap...and disseminating it as well.. im not sure if i wanna continue MUFY but like all other life issues its outta my hands and not my decision to make.. i should pay a visit to the legendary Bermuda Triangle and just disappear into oblivion forever..that should settle all problems and make everyone happy, especially me..

ok i just realised this post is the most emo one ive ever written..seriously what the hell's wrong with u dude...get a life... stop wallowing in self-pity...ok now im talkin and advising myself..i need to check into rehab...