分裂 / 离开

Dear God,
It does seem that all good things do come to an end after all. Right now, I hate this part; I hate the sound of silence, it makes my mind go into disturbia. Hell no I'm not having the time of my life. I gotta feeling that uni is like a battlefield or circus, a boulevard of broken dreams, but never a funhouse - it's like an invitation that screams 'Welcome to the Black Parade'. We don't know who has a poker face, and who's the hero/heroine. All these rumours that are rollin' from supposed 'paparazzi' have to stop; don't turn this into a public affair ok. If I had 21 guns I'll shoot you busybodies senseless, but they'll say you have to know your enemy first. But we are human after all, not superhuman, and no one wears a halo; none of us are an angel. I planned to breakaway, say goodbye, and go M.I.A., escape to somewhere I belong. Who knew that what goes around comes around, that in the end, karma would bite me so hard? I'm hatin' on the club, and I so wanna get out of this club, but it seems like I'm just dead and gone. I wanna evacuate the dancefloor and just dance, tell myself it's alright, it's ok, but I know it's not. I'm going under, and someone, who knows how to save a life, needs to bring me to life. I always apologize, and I said never again, but oops... I did it again. Why am I so complicated? Maybe it's just the way I are. Perhaps I should ring the alarm and just listen, since this is a friggin wake up call for me. What about now? Now that he's already gone, it's easy to say that my life would suck without you, you being a stranger. I won't go deeper, or people will tell me "ur so gay". Our friendship has been damaged; we are broken strings. Can it be repaired one step at a time? Or is it too little too late? Keeps getting better and better in time? I hate this new divide, but really, it's no surprise. I shouldn't bottle it up; I should have come clean with the reason instead of my wordplay. My hot n cold attitude always gives you hell amidst claims that you use somebody. He is so sick of it, saying "eh eh there's nothing else I can say", telling himself don't trust me and don't waste your time. Just so you know, I'm tired of being sorry, but, sorry, blame it on me. This is the purest of pain, that everything gets harder everyday and it cuts like a knife. Then it's about a girl, miss independent, the supposed good girl gone bad who's daddy's little girl. People wonder about that girl; she's beautiful, but they can't decode her because these words are unwritten. She's just screaming "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, I just wanna live", but nobody understands. Big girls don't cry, and cry she doesn't, but she has to choose between labels or love. She's not like most girls; she'll say "leave me alone" although her heart says "i'm lonely". Others, like lala, nick and anu, who know my dirty little secret(s), ask me to shake it off or keep holding on, cause they don't want me to fall to pieces. But for how long? Until the end of time? Am I just chasing cars or chasing pavements? If there's an answer, give it to me. Thanks God.

*name all the singers of the songs and I shall treat you to an above-average meal. LOL.