Friday, September 4, 2009

This is dedicated to you and you only

Never done this. Will never do it again. Cos its lame. and gay. but its imperative i do this. feels like a must. This is for you (though u may never even read this in the first place. lol) Here goes...

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I'm sorry. I've said it once on msn. I've said it to you in person.
And yet it doesnt feel like its enough.
You deserve every bit of an explanation from me.
And yet I can't provide you with one.
Reason being the explanation is illogical.
My treatment was completely uncalled for.
It was tremendously unfair to you.
You didn't see it coming. You had to deal with it.
And I gave you hell for no reason at all.
When all you've done is be the closest friend I could ask for.
This vicious cycle continues all the time.
And you're always in the line of fire.
I desperately need to halt it.
But I let it control me.
I know you are sick of it.
And I'm sick of myself for it.
It's been happening too many times.
In all the 14 months I've known you.
Maybe you're right. Something's wrong with me.
Whatever the case, you still shouldn't have to bear with it.
It's unfair. Uncalled for. Rude.
You have other stuff to deal with.
And my attitude is the last thing you need.
And despite all this you're still there.
For now.
Keep this up and I may lose you.
And I don't want that to happen.
I hate myself.
But I love you.
You're like my brother.
You're like my family.
You know who you are.
I just wish I know myself.
Sorry again for all the shit I've caused.
May this time really be the last.
Cos I don't want a repeat.
You don't deserve that.
We've been through shit.
And still managed to stick it out.
Just hope it's not too late

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