Couple hrs to decide. after subtracting sleeping time. its now or never.the number of days spent tinking. decision still far from made. cmon man. someone jus slap me and tell me wad to do.
Yes
Get cert.
No
No more alien language (finally!).
Boring hostel life(emo-ing in room starin at walls).
Money won't flow out like water(save wadever cents i have left).
Well......
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Decode, Decide (2)
....Or maybe not..that was just one scenario. had a nightmare last night. ok it wasnt a nightmare, but it wasnt a pleasant dream. it was about the very near future, IF i return to snwy. The glimpse into the future wasnt very nice, and tt is how its gonna be from now on if i were to step foot thr again. dont tink ill be able to take all tt ever again. its really too much. and it was never my choice. so yeah. not heading back at all. id rather be w my bro. he just makes me feel like theres not a worry in the world, and i can picture myself just bein with him enjoyin life. wadever it is, ive abt 24 hrs to decide. tts not long.
Went back home again
This sucks gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on everything
"Mobile"- Avril Lavigne
Went back home again
This sucks gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on everything
"Mobile"- Avril Lavigne
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Decode, Decide
Jut one letter can mean so much. Change one letter and the meaning of the word is completely different. Sunway. Run(a)way. ok tts not really it but still applies. First word had been my home for the past 7 months. Second one means leaving tt goddamn shithole forever.
No one had mocked my hair. Ever. Ok there was once in sec school wen i was 14, had a crew cut and was fat. My buddy called me a monkey. Since then, Ive gotten much hotter. Haha wth. self praisin asshole me. So anywaes, of late my hair had garnered negative comments.my eldest bro said i currently look like a mophead. if he turned me upside down he can use my hair as a mop. wth. now i know how JB felt last sem, tho mine isnt so extreme. B4 this, Tom said i look like a coconut, hence the name coconut head was derived. sigh. prior to tt, JB's sis said i looked like a monkey, my hat hair not helpin. sigh. wtf man.
so anywaes, eldest bro went back aussie todae. felt so bloody sad. tho id not seen him in years, he jus possessed this magical quality tt endeared me to him so much. like he single handedly made us feel like a family. i cld talk to him so ezily. he really brightened up the past few days. and now hes gone. ppl alwaes leave.i guess i shd too.
Been really bothered abt my future. Stay? Go? This time, the decision was solely in my hands, and damn my indecisive nature. I needed sth to sway my decision. and sth did. and ultimately the decision was really easy. Chatted w JB online and he was askin me to stay and shit cos i tol him i wasn comin back at all. then i tot tt i can just tahan for another few months and complete mufy, then at least i can be with my bro in aussie with a full mufy cert, and not a half sem one. i wont lie. hostel life is gonna suck real bad, and im gonna miss JB n Nick crazy, but hey, another few months right. Wat the hell was i tinkin this whole time. Quitting and all. No way man. Ditto Nick. Sunway, here I come :)
No one had mocked my hair. Ever. Ok there was once in sec school wen i was 14, had a crew cut and was fat. My buddy called me a monkey. Since then, Ive gotten much hotter. Haha wth. self praisin asshole me. So anywaes, of late my hair had garnered negative comments.my eldest bro said i currently look like a mophead. if he turned me upside down he can use my hair as a mop. wth. now i know how JB felt last sem, tho mine isnt so extreme. B4 this, Tom said i look like a coconut, hence the name coconut head was derived. sigh. prior to tt, JB's sis said i looked like a monkey, my hat hair not helpin. sigh. wtf man.
so anywaes, eldest bro went back aussie todae. felt so bloody sad. tho id not seen him in years, he jus possessed this magical quality tt endeared me to him so much. like he single handedly made us feel like a family. i cld talk to him so ezily. he really brightened up the past few days. and now hes gone. ppl alwaes leave.i guess i shd too.
Been really bothered abt my future. Stay? Go? This time, the decision was solely in my hands, and damn my indecisive nature. I needed sth to sway my decision. and sth did. and ultimately the decision was really easy. Chatted w JB online and he was askin me to stay and shit cos i tol him i wasn comin back at all. then i tot tt i can just tahan for another few months and complete mufy, then at least i can be with my bro in aussie with a full mufy cert, and not a half sem one. i wont lie. hostel life is gonna suck real bad, and im gonna miss JB n Nick crazy, but hey, another few months right. Wat the hell was i tinkin this whole time. Quitting and all. No way man. Ditto Nick. Sunway, here I come :)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Broken Strings
Parents don't know everything. And what they do might not necessarily be right. Sometimes they just need sth to wake em up. ok, b4 being accused of generalising, the above was only aimed at my parents. tho the return of my bro from aussie coincided with us feelin like a family, my parents had to spoil tt. or mayb its just me.
its the 2nd day of cny, and from experience shops will still be closed. mom insisted tt theyll be open cos its already the 2nd day. so i was kinda forced to go, tho i adamantly insisted most shops wd be closed. i was right. but i cldn gloat in victory cos i was kinda pissed off at me parents. gazillionth time. i reallie tink im adopted. everyone in me family looks and acts normal. cept me. i don have any of my parents' traits. or my siblings. none of em are "emo". speakin of, nick gave me these 2 emo vids to watch. they were creepy. if tt defined emo, then im definitely not it. im not tt extreme. woah.
So on the way to the mall, my dad spots this malay couple sitting on a bench chit chatting. they looked teenager-ish. sadly i cant say the same for myself no more. then my dad made this ridiculous remark abt how malays are "stupid", getting attached so young and getting all their priorities wrong and stuff, and tt prompted my mom to add "yeah la smoke oso and all". First, stop living in the past. this is 2009, not 1950. just cos ppl are hooking up duzn mean they are misprioritizing. wth. so all teenagers who have bfs/gfs are bad ppl/made wrong decisions? fuck, i dated anu twice. i wonder wad theyd say if they knew tt. if i had my dads ego i can tell him i dated anu and shove my xm results in his face. tt shd shut him up.
2nd, they gotta stop with the bloody misconception that smokers are bad ppl, and im not saying tt jus cos i do. tts one bloody mindset i want obliterated. if what my parents tink is true then me and my bro are indeed evil ppl. jus made me realise my parents dont know alot abt all of us after all, tinkin we're all angels. and my dad keeps preaching abt moral and religion and all when he himself doesnt practice what he preaches. bloody hypocrite. i sure hope i don grow up to be like him. oh well, ill prolly be a sad emo loner livin by myself peddling drugs. that or a terrorist.
During lunch/dinner, bro was talking abt aussie life. suddenly it din seem so appealing. then again, he seems to enjoy life there alot. but then againnnn, hes completely diff from me. hes sociable, acclimatizes and adapts to change easily and is optimistic. so i donno. i really donno what to do. another day passed, and my mind is no less clearer. im still confused as hell. i just need tt single breakthru in my mind tt will point the way for me. sian.
on the way back a couple of chinese boys were playing fireworks. mom mentioned y there arent reports of ppl gettin injured by fireworks during cny but yet durin hari raya many ppl do. hmmm.
its the 2nd day of cny, and from experience shops will still be closed. mom insisted tt theyll be open cos its already the 2nd day. so i was kinda forced to go, tho i adamantly insisted most shops wd be closed. i was right. but i cldn gloat in victory cos i was kinda pissed off at me parents. gazillionth time. i reallie tink im adopted. everyone in me family looks and acts normal. cept me. i don have any of my parents' traits. or my siblings. none of em are "emo". speakin of, nick gave me these 2 emo vids to watch. they were creepy. if tt defined emo, then im definitely not it. im not tt extreme. woah.
So on the way to the mall, my dad spots this malay couple sitting on a bench chit chatting. they looked teenager-ish. sadly i cant say the same for myself no more. then my dad made this ridiculous remark abt how malays are "stupid", getting attached so young and getting all their priorities wrong and stuff, and tt prompted my mom to add "yeah la smoke oso and all". First, stop living in the past. this is 2009, not 1950. just cos ppl are hooking up duzn mean they are misprioritizing. wth. so all teenagers who have bfs/gfs are bad ppl/made wrong decisions? fuck, i dated anu twice. i wonder wad theyd say if they knew tt. if i had my dads ego i can tell him i dated anu and shove my xm results in his face. tt shd shut him up.
2nd, they gotta stop with the bloody misconception that smokers are bad ppl, and im not saying tt jus cos i do. tts one bloody mindset i want obliterated. if what my parents tink is true then me and my bro are indeed evil ppl. jus made me realise my parents dont know alot abt all of us after all, tinkin we're all angels. and my dad keeps preaching abt moral and religion and all when he himself doesnt practice what he preaches. bloody hypocrite. i sure hope i don grow up to be like him. oh well, ill prolly be a sad emo loner livin by myself peddling drugs. that or a terrorist.
During lunch/dinner, bro was talking abt aussie life. suddenly it din seem so appealing. then again, he seems to enjoy life there alot. but then againnnn, hes completely diff from me. hes sociable, acclimatizes and adapts to change easily and is optimistic. so i donno. i really donno what to do. another day passed, and my mind is no less clearer. im still confused as hell. i just need tt single breakthru in my mind tt will point the way for me. sian.
on the way back a couple of chinese boys were playing fireworks. mom mentioned y there arent reports of ppl gettin injured by fireworks during cny but yet durin hari raya many ppl do. hmmm.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
Lady Gaga's album is pretty awesome. Most of her songs are nice. specially the above one. ok random.
Break is here, after so soon. Not tt im complaining. its a welcome relief after a really really heavy 3 weeks in school. but i guess i dont have to deal with tt anymore. cant bliv it. after months and months finally i have my way. but at times i still wonder. is this wat i really want? everytime i think of em my heart gets heavy. Been told to just finish it since im more than halfway done. true. but im never logical. and wenever i tink of me frens, i feel like returning. but i know once im there, im just gonna be pining to quit. wat the hell.
Everynight (or morning depending on wat time i sleep), i kinda spend hrs (yes, really) just thinkin. abt everything. especially my frens there. theres been a lot of downs lately but theyre still frens. and theyre really close. i guess cos i hang with em all the time theyre almost like a 2nd family (really weird chinese family with one malay dude). there's nick, whos been thru so much and at times got on my nerves really badly. but in the end he's still the same nick-the entertainer, guy who jus makes everything light. someone i look upon as my ygr bro. theres tsu ann and angela, lovely ladies who i can jus hang with and do nothin and still have fun. theres so many others who im indebted to. they know who they are. then there's JB. if i ever bliv in a best fren, hed be that person. actually he more or less is. hes never pissed me off, and alwaes makes my day better. i don tink ive ever been closer to anyone than him. theres so much more i can write but its just gonna go on and on and bore whoever reads this to death. Usually i don mention names in my posts but this time i just felt compelled to, i donno y.
The past two days have been pretty awesome, and its cos my eldest bro is back. after ages. for ONCE, we actually felt like a normal family. it was one of the greatest feelings ive ever felt. home was actually fun, dinner on sat was awesome. dinie came over last nite and joined us for supper. that was a blast. y cant everyday be like these 2 days. bros gonna head back to aussie on thurs. tts gonna be my destination too i guess.
i reckon the next few days are gonna be tough as hell. cos ill be wrestling my conscience. i donno y now that ive gotten exactly wad i wanted, i jus don feel overjoyed. c'mon man! be happy!....nope. sorry. it seems i cant please everyone, including meself. been doing some serious tinkin. i cant avoid studying forever. as much as i hate it. and if i complete mufy, ill prolly end up in aussie anywaes, just later. but to be in snwy and endure all tt? is it worth it? i don know. this is serious shit. and for once, the decision is in my hands cos all sides have given consent. its up to me now. i shd be pleased. but im not. its hard. and that sux.
Break is here, after so soon. Not tt im complaining. its a welcome relief after a really really heavy 3 weeks in school. but i guess i dont have to deal with tt anymore. cant bliv it. after months and months finally i have my way. but at times i still wonder. is this wat i really want? everytime i think of em my heart gets heavy. Been told to just finish it since im more than halfway done. true. but im never logical. and wenever i tink of me frens, i feel like returning. but i know once im there, im just gonna be pining to quit. wat the hell.
Everynight (or morning depending on wat time i sleep), i kinda spend hrs (yes, really) just thinkin. abt everything. especially my frens there. theres been a lot of downs lately but theyre still frens. and theyre really close. i guess cos i hang with em all the time theyre almost like a 2nd family (really weird chinese family with one malay dude). there's nick, whos been thru so much and at times got on my nerves really badly. but in the end he's still the same nick-the entertainer, guy who jus makes everything light. someone i look upon as my ygr bro. theres tsu ann and angela, lovely ladies who i can jus hang with and do nothin and still have fun. theres so many others who im indebted to. they know who they are. then there's JB. if i ever bliv in a best fren, hed be that person. actually he more or less is. hes never pissed me off, and alwaes makes my day better. i don tink ive ever been closer to anyone than him. theres so much more i can write but its just gonna go on and on and bore whoever reads this to death. Usually i don mention names in my posts but this time i just felt compelled to, i donno y.
The past two days have been pretty awesome, and its cos my eldest bro is back. after ages. for ONCE, we actually felt like a normal family. it was one of the greatest feelings ive ever felt. home was actually fun, dinner on sat was awesome. dinie came over last nite and joined us for supper. that was a blast. y cant everyday be like these 2 days. bros gonna head back to aussie on thurs. tts gonna be my destination too i guess.
i reckon the next few days are gonna be tough as hell. cos ill be wrestling my conscience. i donno y now that ive gotten exactly wad i wanted, i jus don feel overjoyed. c'mon man! be happy!....nope. sorry. it seems i cant please everyone, including meself. been doing some serious tinkin. i cant avoid studying forever. as much as i hate it. and if i complete mufy, ill prolly end up in aussie anywaes, just later. but to be in snwy and endure all tt? is it worth it? i don know. this is serious shit. and for once, the decision is in my hands cos all sides have given consent. its up to me now. i shd be pleased. but im not. its hard. and that sux.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
*The Great Division
When Moses parted the Red Sea thousands of years ago, the miraculous act could have signified a great disparity in modern times-sexism, any apropos of blasphemy removed. Debates have raged over certain stereotypes-females are bad drivers, men are insensitive and emotionless, men are smarter than women, females are more prudent and the list is practically endless. Such division has led to a double-standard, where unfair advantages are handed out to one of the two sexes. While this commonly occurs in offices, traces of this are present elsewhere too. Whether it is as extreme is another matter altogether.
Just under a week had passed since Sanya Dival and Hans Basil's messy break-up, and it seems the mentality "one cannot be friends with their exes" is holding true, at least for Hans. Amazing how his attitude towards one can change in an instant, from loving and passionate to nonchalant and at times, tactlessly cold. While they dated, Hans showered Sanya with attention, love and warmth. Now, ignorance is bliss for him as he chooses his friends over hers, the mandatory greeting the only words shared between them. Is this the end for the two? Judging from Sanya's direct approach, where she straighforwardly announced a make-up is not on the cards, it looks as though the end has indeed arrived. Unless Hans plans to charm his way back into her heart and light up more than her life.
Boys vs Girls. Girls vs Boys. There are times when the battle of the sexes emerge in a very subtle, yet conspicuous way. Lunch has usually been a gathering between friends, whenever they could make it. Yet, for the first time, the 'sex' card was played, albeit unintentionally. Diane Shine had planned to join Hans, John Bow, Nick Ivans, Sue Anne and Dan Wise for the usual. But her new BFF, Angie Flo hijacked her plans and offered a trip to Sunway Pyramid for a supposed Girls Day Out. Diane agreed, forsaking her lunch date with the others and causing a mini chain reaction. In the end, Sue felt compelled to oblige, and parted ways with the guys. Just a mere one-off event, or a subtle display of feminist strength to tip the power-struggle in their favour?
Another aspect of tipping some sort of advantage in one's favour was Hans' reliance on Sue. The pair were the only ones within the 'C-Clique' not well versed with the supposed common language. Hans could draw comfort from the knowledge of that fact, but it seems when Sue got in and Hans went out, so did her reliability.
Sanya wasn't the only one feeling Hans' indifference. Nick felt it too. Perhaps Sue did as well. While she had always stuck by Hans, she now had her own voice, and her own opinions. Hans may have been affected by the language until it caused his change in attitude, but Sue was not going down the same path. She was never gonna deny herself fun just because Hans denied his.
Letting down her hair on her last night in Sunway, she decided to club with her girlfriends. Seems Hans was no longer a factor in her decision-making process. Then again, an outsider never has a say in anything.
Secrets are never kept long. Anywhere. Hans had weaved and manouvered, schemed and acted his way through until the first holidays of the semester had dawned. Unfortunately, he flawed his own secret by virtue of his own carelessness. With Angie now in the know, Hans had to do everything in his power to ensure the cat was not let out of the bag a second time. He stuck to it initially, but soon he betrayed himself.
The last night spent as roommates turned sour as Hans revealed his shocking secret to a completely unsuspecting John, whose response was one of shock and disbelief. Knowing Hans' planned had failed the first time, he hoped it would the second. Sadly for him, he'll only discover if it was fact or fiction when break ends and semester restarts.
The last day of school before the week-long holiday and festivities was surprisingly subdued and quiet, perhaps dissemination of Hans' secret a causing factor. Angie got emotional, her last interaction with Hans being a simple hug. John's coping mechanism was that of plain ignorance. Sue soon caught wind of the news, and the words "I hate you" aimed at Hans flew off, dripping with anger and hatred. Obviously the news was not received well with anyone. But they should be hopeful. Just. And Hans should scale down from cloud nine. Because, as Angie thoughtfully pointed out, all plans that Hans makes never ever work out. Will his streak continue? Or will he manage to break the trend for once?
From the looks of it, it seems the signs seem to point to the former. His exit from Sunway was peppered with problems of all sorts- from missing a train due to crowd issues, subsequent trains being delayed and services stopped. In the end, he managed a way out, and returned home, just like Sue, John, Nick and Diane. Time will tell if all plans made would materialise, and if one's absence from the social scene would be felt.
It seems the holidays are not welcomed by all, with a division of opinions and emotions. Hans Basil could not wait for it enough, while Nick Ivans wanted it to end even before it started, such was his desire for college due to the ability to meet and hang out with his friends. Diane shared the same sentiments, expressing the fact that she would miss her friends, though she did not mind the holidays. For the rest, the holidays represented a time to rest and recuperate, catch up with family and celebrate their respective festivals. Once the holidays end though, things would never be the same again. That, is certain. What would change though, is not.
Just under a week had passed since Sanya Dival and Hans Basil's messy break-up, and it seems the mentality "one cannot be friends with their exes" is holding true, at least for Hans. Amazing how his attitude towards one can change in an instant, from loving and passionate to nonchalant and at times, tactlessly cold. While they dated, Hans showered Sanya with attention, love and warmth. Now, ignorance is bliss for him as he chooses his friends over hers, the mandatory greeting the only words shared between them. Is this the end for the two? Judging from Sanya's direct approach, where she straighforwardly announced a make-up is not on the cards, it looks as though the end has indeed arrived. Unless Hans plans to charm his way back into her heart and light up more than her life.
Boys vs Girls. Girls vs Boys. There are times when the battle of the sexes emerge in a very subtle, yet conspicuous way. Lunch has usually been a gathering between friends, whenever they could make it. Yet, for the first time, the 'sex' card was played, albeit unintentionally. Diane Shine had planned to join Hans, John Bow, Nick Ivans, Sue Anne and Dan Wise for the usual. But her new BFF, Angie Flo hijacked her plans and offered a trip to Sunway Pyramid for a supposed Girls Day Out. Diane agreed, forsaking her lunch date with the others and causing a mini chain reaction. In the end, Sue felt compelled to oblige, and parted ways with the guys. Just a mere one-off event, or a subtle display of feminist strength to tip the power-struggle in their favour?
Another aspect of tipping some sort of advantage in one's favour was Hans' reliance on Sue. The pair were the only ones within the 'C-Clique' not well versed with the supposed common language. Hans could draw comfort from the knowledge of that fact, but it seems when Sue got in and Hans went out, so did her reliability.
Sanya wasn't the only one feeling Hans' indifference. Nick felt it too. Perhaps Sue did as well. While she had always stuck by Hans, she now had her own voice, and her own opinions. Hans may have been affected by the language until it caused his change in attitude, but Sue was not going down the same path. She was never gonna deny herself fun just because Hans denied his.
Letting down her hair on her last night in Sunway, she decided to club with her girlfriends. Seems Hans was no longer a factor in her decision-making process. Then again, an outsider never has a say in anything.
Secrets are never kept long. Anywhere. Hans had weaved and manouvered, schemed and acted his way through until the first holidays of the semester had dawned. Unfortunately, he flawed his own secret by virtue of his own carelessness. With Angie now in the know, Hans had to do everything in his power to ensure the cat was not let out of the bag a second time. He stuck to it initially, but soon he betrayed himself.
The last night spent as roommates turned sour as Hans revealed his shocking secret to a completely unsuspecting John, whose response was one of shock and disbelief. Knowing Hans' planned had failed the first time, he hoped it would the second. Sadly for him, he'll only discover if it was fact or fiction when break ends and semester restarts.
The last day of school before the week-long holiday and festivities was surprisingly subdued and quiet, perhaps dissemination of Hans' secret a causing factor. Angie got emotional, her last interaction with Hans being a simple hug. John's coping mechanism was that of plain ignorance. Sue soon caught wind of the news, and the words "I hate you" aimed at Hans flew off, dripping with anger and hatred. Obviously the news was not received well with anyone. But they should be hopeful. Just. And Hans should scale down from cloud nine. Because, as Angie thoughtfully pointed out, all plans that Hans makes never ever work out. Will his streak continue? Or will he manage to break the trend for once?
From the looks of it, it seems the signs seem to point to the former. His exit from Sunway was peppered with problems of all sorts- from missing a train due to crowd issues, subsequent trains being delayed and services stopped. In the end, he managed a way out, and returned home, just like Sue, John, Nick and Diane. Time will tell if all plans made would materialise, and if one's absence from the social scene would be felt.
It seems the holidays are not welcomed by all, with a division of opinions and emotions. Hans Basil could not wait for it enough, while Nick Ivans wanted it to end even before it started, such was his desire for college due to the ability to meet and hang out with his friends. Diane shared the same sentiments, expressing the fact that she would miss her friends, though she did not mind the holidays. For the rest, the holidays represented a time to rest and recuperate, catch up with family and celebrate their respective festivals. Once the holidays end though, things would never be the same again. That, is certain. What would change though, is not.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
*Reminder
Posts with a * are based on true occurences, but not everything is fact. Those that are indeed factual may be exaggarated to a certain extent. It is advisable to not believe everything and read the posts purely for fun, laughter, peace and joy. Seriously.
*The Divine Relation-slips
Hans Basil & Sanya Dival. Sue Anne & Dan Wise. Theo Oscar & Angie Flo? Nick Ivans & Sanya Dival. John Bow & Hans Basil? Diane Shine & Nick Ivans? John Bow & Diane Shine? Sue Anne & Hans Basil? Sanya Dival & Angie Flo?
Relationships are probably the best, and sometimes worst, things in life. It can lead to a lifetime of bliss and happiness, or miss and subsequent crappiness. It is common knowledge that love is blind, and that the heart does not work in tandem with the head. While this is true for relationships apropos of romance, other types of relationships may differ- family, friends and colleagues. Sometimes, one is forced to accept a relationship, but more often than not, the outcome is based on one's own choice. The decision made usually yields the intended results. But not always.
Angie Flo and Sanya Dival's friendship had blossomed so much last year until it attracted unwanted attention and tongues started wagging about their sexuality, especially Angie's. This year however, an invisible hand seemed to have gotten in-between them. This time, it wasn't caused by a change in behaviour in Sanya, but the 'arrival' of someone, who seemed to have caused ripples- Diane Shine.
Rumour has it few of Sunway's males had fallen head over heels for her, the fact that she had already been snagged not a barrier. Angie conformed to that category, albeit not in the same manner. It seems fate brought them together- as if having the same birthday was not evident enough, their parents had similar connections as well. Over the course of the week, Diane and Angie had grown closer, shopping trips and movie outings strengthening their friendship. Private informations and secrets had already been revealed between them. Will this put a strain on Sanya, who already has problems of her own to deal with? As if losing her boyfriend was not bad enough, she now faces the prospect of losing her best friend.
Another being facing the same prospect is Hans Basil, albeit in a different aspect. For the past few days, Hans and John Bow had been having personal conversations, which under normal circumstances would unify and strengthen any relationship. As D-day for Hans looms, he seems to have wrapped himself in a shroud, lying to himself that the future would not look dark. The change could not have come at a worse time for the pair. Surely Hans has enough experience and mental capacity to deal with it. Maybe not. So affected by the alien language was he that he abstained from the norm group outing-a first. Was this a sign of things to come for him?
While Hans battles his social status problems, Sue Anne seems to be riding the crest of the relationship wave, shifting some of the spotlight on herself. Usually seen as the outsider of the "Sunway C-Clique", she apparently managed to sneak herself in. Whether her entry caused Hans to be pushed out is anyone's guess.
Daily meals and conversations with Dan Wise and beloved step-brother Theo Oscar had added a certain glow to Sue's face. Together with the trio of Hans, Angie and Theo, Sue had escaped the bondage of college where they spent their money to fill their tummies. And their ears too. Angie filled Hans on some potentially explosive news, while the siblings engaged in disturbing dirty talk.
Diane Shine had the best interests of her four friends- Nick Ivans, Sue, John and Hans- when she invited them over for her church party. While she wanted them to have fun and enjoy themselves, Hans felt completely overwhelmed, his complicated past crashing into his mind. His faith and trust in the divine had faltered and deteriorated alarmingly of late. Could this innocuous invitation have been a sign from above? The answer he had always longed for but never recieved? By the end of the celebration, Hans felt more confused than joyous. But the others didn't suffer the same fate. Yet.
A massive 'after-party' ensued, where strangers became friends and pictures captured the moments. Not all moments were joyous though. While Hans felt puzzled at the end of the service, Nick let go a vicious cloud of anger towards a bewildered John and Hans on arrival back home. His shocking outburst was unexplained, and neither Hans nor John could interpret it.
As the holidays beckons, things definitely look bleak for most of Sunway's mixed. Sanya and Hans continue playing hide-and-seek, leaving issues unresolved. Nick's emotions continue to undulate with each passing day, as he and John prepare for their departure. It is unclear how Hans would deal with it, but whatever coping mechanism he applies look set to have no effect. Not after Angie stumbled upon his disturbing secret, by virtue of he himself slipping up. Yes, the immediate future looks very bleak indeed.
Relationships are probably the best, and sometimes worst, things in life. It can lead to a lifetime of bliss and happiness, or miss and subsequent crappiness. It is common knowledge that love is blind, and that the heart does not work in tandem with the head. While this is true for relationships apropos of romance, other types of relationships may differ- family, friends and colleagues. Sometimes, one is forced to accept a relationship, but more often than not, the outcome is based on one's own choice. The decision made usually yields the intended results. But not always.
Angie Flo and Sanya Dival's friendship had blossomed so much last year until it attracted unwanted attention and tongues started wagging about their sexuality, especially Angie's. This year however, an invisible hand seemed to have gotten in-between them. This time, it wasn't caused by a change in behaviour in Sanya, but the 'arrival' of someone, who seemed to have caused ripples- Diane Shine.
Rumour has it few of Sunway's males had fallen head over heels for her, the fact that she had already been snagged not a barrier. Angie conformed to that category, albeit not in the same manner. It seems fate brought them together- as if having the same birthday was not evident enough, their parents had similar connections as well. Over the course of the week, Diane and Angie had grown closer, shopping trips and movie outings strengthening their friendship. Private informations and secrets had already been revealed between them. Will this put a strain on Sanya, who already has problems of her own to deal with? As if losing her boyfriend was not bad enough, she now faces the prospect of losing her best friend.
Another being facing the same prospect is Hans Basil, albeit in a different aspect. For the past few days, Hans and John Bow had been having personal conversations, which under normal circumstances would unify and strengthen any relationship. As D-day for Hans looms, he seems to have wrapped himself in a shroud, lying to himself that the future would not look dark. The change could not have come at a worse time for the pair. Surely Hans has enough experience and mental capacity to deal with it. Maybe not. So affected by the alien language was he that he abstained from the norm group outing-a first. Was this a sign of things to come for him?
While Hans battles his social status problems, Sue Anne seems to be riding the crest of the relationship wave, shifting some of the spotlight on herself. Usually seen as the outsider of the "Sunway C-Clique", she apparently managed to sneak herself in. Whether her entry caused Hans to be pushed out is anyone's guess.
Daily meals and conversations with Dan Wise and beloved step-brother Theo Oscar had added a certain glow to Sue's face. Together with the trio of Hans, Angie and Theo, Sue had escaped the bondage of college where they spent their money to fill their tummies. And their ears too. Angie filled Hans on some potentially explosive news, while the siblings engaged in disturbing dirty talk.
Diane Shine had the best interests of her four friends- Nick Ivans, Sue, John and Hans- when she invited them over for her church party. While she wanted them to have fun and enjoy themselves, Hans felt completely overwhelmed, his complicated past crashing into his mind. His faith and trust in the divine had faltered and deteriorated alarmingly of late. Could this innocuous invitation have been a sign from above? The answer he had always longed for but never recieved? By the end of the celebration, Hans felt more confused than joyous. But the others didn't suffer the same fate. Yet.
A massive 'after-party' ensued, where strangers became friends and pictures captured the moments. Not all moments were joyous though. While Hans felt puzzled at the end of the service, Nick let go a vicious cloud of anger towards a bewildered John and Hans on arrival back home. His shocking outburst was unexplained, and neither Hans nor John could interpret it.
As the holidays beckons, things definitely look bleak for most of Sunway's mixed. Sanya and Hans continue playing hide-and-seek, leaving issues unresolved. Nick's emotions continue to undulate with each passing day, as he and John prepare for their departure. It is unclear how Hans would deal with it, but whatever coping mechanism he applies look set to have no effect. Not after Angie stumbled upon his disturbing secret, by virtue of he himself slipping up. Yes, the immediate future looks very bleak indeed.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
*The Numbers Game
Dan Wise
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"Miss Mysterious" Diane Shine
==========================================================Numbers are ubiquitious. Without numbers, there's no life. Numbers denote almost everything in life,from the insignificant to the fundamental. To some, numbers are just pure numbers, existing for no particular rhyme or reason. For others, numbers are their life, for example, in their line of work. Is it possible however, for numbers to play an even more significant, maybe even frightening, role- to determine certain outcomes in your life?
Nick Ivans and Hans Basil had endured a rocky past few days, their friendship stretched and tested after several misunderstandings which placed their trust in each other in jeapordy. After days of treating Hans like a complete stranger, Nick finally relented and resumed normal service. For Hans though, he was well aware that the damage caused could not be fully repaired immediately, but he gladly welcomed back his friend. And their first step in the rehabilitation of their relationship was the one activity they enjoyed most-pool. That broke the ice of awkwardness, and the "after-party" ensured great leaps were made in the recovery process.
Ordering in supper, the pair crashed Nick's hostel, and that was when Nick started becoming intrigued by a certain set of numbers. Agglomerating all his past failures in relationships, he started discovering a common link with a set of numbers. The more he thought about it, the more these numbers coincided with things- from random items like an iron and a rice cooker to the more significant like his unit floor and room number. Even the place where his fag ash was laid had a significant link. Initially, Hans found it amusing, but little did he know that Nick's little 'obsession' with the numbers were about to take a more terrifying turn.
Almost everything present in Nick's life seemed to have a link with the numbers, and it started bothering Hans, who felt bewildered himself. But the one that took the cake was when the numbers apparently led to the morbid topic of death. Meddling with his fag box, which also had a number link, a conclusion was derived that March 2010 was a significant time in his life- apparently it was the time he would meet his maker, his life stopped short by the element of fire. Hans started feeling worried at Nick's belief in the message conveyed through the numbers. Did Nick have a solid case in believing that these numbers could actually plot his destiny? Or was it just a severe case of paranoia?
While wish number 1 worked out well for Sanya Dival, it seemed her second one bombed horribly, and that her actions failed to conform to her words. Promises to herself were reneged, and it was as if she herself made a mockery of them. Truancy last semester had costed her much, and yet in 3 short week, history had repeated itself, ridding herself the opportunity of fulfilling her promises. Whether this insidious enemy would dent her reputation and affect her greatly remains to be seen, but her steady progress back to the summit looks like it will not be a one way trip.
Mathematics & Accounts- two subjects based on and revolving around numbers. Two subjects Sue Anne finds herself stuck unhappily in. In both scenarios, the lecturers seem to be the cause of eradicating the joy from the subjects. While the teaching method of the Accounts' one irked her, the Math one just drove her up the wall. Sue never had to endure the misfortune of being mistaken as one with a disability. Unfortunately for her, her Math lecturer had other ideas, wrongly getting the impression Sue was a slow learner. And no one gets a second shot at a first impression. Poor Sue. It seems her hot streak of luck gained last semester had finally run out.
John Bow and Hans Basil bonded pretty well for two people with different backgrounds, but the former possessed one potentially fatal trait of the latter- indecisiveness. The two roommates, set to part in a matter of days, had been engaging in deep conversations of late, the last occuring outside their home amidst the wind and rain. During the course of their talks, they discovered they shared much more common traits and backgrounds, and one of them, as earlier mentioned, was indecisiveness. While Hans' life decisions had usually been made by others, John's weren't, but his lacked direction. So it was apt that the pair thrashed out their future education plans, each hoping the other could shed some light on the matter. Sadly, they remained stuck, and it led to nowhere. Seems the only place John was heading to was away, threatening to knock the final nail in Hans' coffin as he struggles to comprehend his 'outsider' satus.
Everything's more fun at night. Perhaps Nick had this in mind when he invited John, Hans and Diane to explore Sunway University College at night. Rumours were rife that ghostly sightings had been made when darkness took over. Armed with excitement and consternation, the four students found the college in different light in all its nightly splendour. After two fun-filled hours of exploring, they rested in the dark where jokes and random topics were strewn across. The night was getting more fun, but not for Hans, as the dreaded alien language made its way out yet again. He decided to call it a night, storming off back home, leaving the other three surprised. Unknown to him, his departure sparked off the retreat of the language, where the universal one awoke. Serious issues were debated and shared among the triumvirate, which only served to bring them closer. Poor Hans was not there to enjoy the bonding. Apparently he left just when the real fun started.
One year. Two semesters. Three Weeks passed. Four individuals struggling with studies. Five months to the end. Six complicated lives. Seven days for rest and refuel. Eight people. Nine stories.
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Monday, January 19, 2009
*The Outsider
Outsider. Defined as "someone who does not belong to a particular group or organisation". In today's more practical world, an outsider is an individual who is eschewed by society, viewed as a reclusive hermit with no friends to his/her name, engaging in activities alone. Going through the mundane day-to-day activities with the only present yet intangible being that would accompany the outsider-his shadow. Alas, even the shadow isn't there 24/7. And the one danger that everyone faces? Being an outsider. One may be the social king or queen, their social status protected by the plethora of friends and their popularity skyrocketing through the roof. But all that can change in an instant. Hans Basil should know this, for he had just experienced it.
A few days ago, Hans Basil had finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel he had been trapped in for the past few months. The light had gotten brighter and brighter, and Hans believed he could finally pull himself through and break free. But unfortunately, the light was transient, snuffed out before he could escape.
A mere 24 hours witnessed the spectacular implosion and fall from grace of Sunway's once "in" kids, swiftly revoking all 'possessions' he had held dear. Where he had his close friends and a girlfriend one day, it seemed the intangible was hell-bent on making a mockery of his life, all the before-mentioned gone the very next. Plunged back underground, slapped by a double-whammy. Now with two of his closest friends set to depart, and his girlfriend nothing but a name, will Hans rise against the odds and battle back? Or will he buckle under the inability to accept the inevitable and just give up?
Last year saw the fall of his girlfriend. Now, himself. Something he could never envisage had materialised- he had become an outsider.
At the tender age of 206 months, Nick Ivans was the beacon of a normal teenager's life- hanging around with friends, being into girls, studying in college and basically enjoying what life had to offer. Undulations in one's life is normal, and more often than not, Nick weathered the storm well. The only one that had him affected badly was the failure of a romantic link with Sanya Dival. Perhaps it was his sub-concious mind that informed him he was over her, for his inability to actually forget her had caused a mini rift between himself and Hans. After being pressured by Hans into admission, Nick then described his side of the story in a bid to soften the blows for his friend. Whether it did was anyone's guess, but it seems that life for these two look set to be different.
It seems that finally one wish came true, with no complications or sick twists. Wanting to be independent, Sanya Dival could now be that, after her shocking break up with Hans. The pair had reunited for only a week, and could be portrayed as the epitome of bliss. With their relationship breaking boundaries and ascending levels, it seemed that Hans' joke to Angie Flo regarding the time he would last with Sanya blasted back in his face. Two attempts, two failures. Surely the signs are there that this relationship would just never work. With Hans and Sanya acting chummy and Sue Anne and Dan Wise enduring nightly fights, whoever thought the bickering couple could last longer than the loving ones.
With Hans needing to adjust to life as the abhorred outsider, he could take comfort in the knowledge that he's not the only one. At least on weekends. While college classes are on break, so are the lives of Theo Oscar, Sue Anne and Angie Flo. Putting his mind to rest, Theo substituted his brawn to work, replacing studies with work. While her brother learns the physical rudiments of business, Sue experiences the other aspect, strolling alone during a shopping trip, emptying her purse on possessions that provide temporary joy and satisfaction. As for Angie, she learnt the lesson that Hans had learnt long ago-kindness does not pay. The irony in her situation could not have been caused by someone more apt-Hans himself. Perhaps he forgot to treat others the same way he wanted to be treated. A simple gesture and question to display her value as a friend to Hans resulted in the latter completely blowing up and storming off, leaving poor Angie shell-shocked. Would she pile more misery on Hans by being the latest person to leave, or would she fight for him the way she did for Sanya last semester?
One thing is certain. Nothing, absolutely nothing is secure. Friends can turn into enemies in an instant, backstabbing one another. Lies come in place of truth, with facades on display. It seems in this shallow world of manipulative scheming and payback, trust is something no longer of value. And without trust, how then, can anyone survive.
A few days ago, Hans Basil had finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel he had been trapped in for the past few months. The light had gotten brighter and brighter, and Hans believed he could finally pull himself through and break free. But unfortunately, the light was transient, snuffed out before he could escape.
A mere 24 hours witnessed the spectacular implosion and fall from grace of Sunway's once "in" kids, swiftly revoking all 'possessions' he had held dear. Where he had his close friends and a girlfriend one day, it seemed the intangible was hell-bent on making a mockery of his life, all the before-mentioned gone the very next. Plunged back underground, slapped by a double-whammy. Now with two of his closest friends set to depart, and his girlfriend nothing but a name, will Hans rise against the odds and battle back? Or will he buckle under the inability to accept the inevitable and just give up?
Last year saw the fall of his girlfriend. Now, himself. Something he could never envisage had materialised- he had become an outsider.
At the tender age of 206 months, Nick Ivans was the beacon of a normal teenager's life- hanging around with friends, being into girls, studying in college and basically enjoying what life had to offer. Undulations in one's life is normal, and more often than not, Nick weathered the storm well. The only one that had him affected badly was the failure of a romantic link with Sanya Dival. Perhaps it was his sub-concious mind that informed him he was over her, for his inability to actually forget her had caused a mini rift between himself and Hans. After being pressured by Hans into admission, Nick then described his side of the story in a bid to soften the blows for his friend. Whether it did was anyone's guess, but it seems that life for these two look set to be different.
It seems that finally one wish came true, with no complications or sick twists. Wanting to be independent, Sanya Dival could now be that, after her shocking break up with Hans. The pair had reunited for only a week, and could be portrayed as the epitome of bliss. With their relationship breaking boundaries and ascending levels, it seemed that Hans' joke to Angie Flo regarding the time he would last with Sanya blasted back in his face. Two attempts, two failures. Surely the signs are there that this relationship would just never work. With Hans and Sanya acting chummy and Sue Anne and Dan Wise enduring nightly fights, whoever thought the bickering couple could last longer than the loving ones.
With Hans needing to adjust to life as the abhorred outsider, he could take comfort in the knowledge that he's not the only one. At least on weekends. While college classes are on break, so are the lives of Theo Oscar, Sue Anne and Angie Flo. Putting his mind to rest, Theo substituted his brawn to work, replacing studies with work. While her brother learns the physical rudiments of business, Sue experiences the other aspect, strolling alone during a shopping trip, emptying her purse on possessions that provide temporary joy and satisfaction. As for Angie, she learnt the lesson that Hans had learnt long ago-kindness does not pay. The irony in her situation could not have been caused by someone more apt-Hans himself. Perhaps he forgot to treat others the same way he wanted to be treated. A simple gesture and question to display her value as a friend to Hans resulted in the latter completely blowing up and storming off, leaving poor Angie shell-shocked. Would she pile more misery on Hans by being the latest person to leave, or would she fight for him the way she did for Sanya last semester?
One thing is certain. Nothing, absolutely nothing is secure. Friends can turn into enemies in an instant, backstabbing one another. Lies come in place of truth, with facades on display. It seems in this shallow world of manipulative scheming and payback, trust is something no longer of value. And without trust, how then, can anyone survive.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
* The Wishful Thinking
'Be careful what you wish for' is a phrase that has been around for aeons, albeit often being an understatement. People usually utter "I wish" followed by an object or intention of desire, usually misjudging the seriousness of the ramifications that one statement could bring. And when that wish comes true, it materialises in a dark, twisted way that makes you regret even making it in the first place, seemingly a slap on the face. Yes, that wish came true. Just not in the way you expected it to. Beware the dark forces roaming this earth, for your eyes see what you don't wish to see, your mouth utters words that shouldn't be spoken, and your mind thinks of that which ought not be thought of.
In the space of a few short days, Sue Anne's life had roller-coastered uncontrollably. On the inside. Hooking up with Dan Wise, followed by the shocking truth about her step-brother Theo Oscar. While things with Theo were good, it caused an adverse effect on hers with her boyfriend. Odds were high that their week long relationship would crumble after nights of fights, but apparently, Dan managed to clean himself and lift the rocks that had emerged into their union. Playful teasing and online chats seem to have done the trick.
With her relationship issues looking brighter, Sue could focus on the more important-studies. After her undulating results last semester, she wished for better lecturers. And she got them. At least for Accounts. Yes, the lecturer may be more au-fait than Miss Susie, but apparently her teaching style and attitude got under Sue's skin, which has now become an irritant. Be careful what you wish for.
Despite his ability to make girls go weak in their knees and their hearts to skip beats, John Bow preferred to fly solo and chill with his friends, avoiding the possibility of entangling himself with messy issues pertinent to relationships. Perhaps fate had other ideas for him as random meetings with a certain lady brought them closer.
Hans Basil had made a bold decision in a bid to make a stand, and unknown to him, it backfired so spectacularly in a conglomeration of all past tragedies that he gained much more than he asked for and now cannot handle it. Boldly declaring to Nick one night of his intentions, due to the alien language, which he did stick to initially, it seems fate had played a very cruel trick on him which only made Hans look like the biggest fool with an equally big mouth. He made his own wish come true, but destiny added to it. And it seems his road to recovery has been temporary, with the latest setback now crushing his morale and plunging him back to the dark depths which he barely crawled out of just a few days ago.What happens to him next?
One ought to watch their tongue, for they never know when the words they speak can spring to life and haunt them in the most gruesome way they never thought possible.
In the space of a few short days, Sue Anne's life had roller-coastered uncontrollably. On the inside. Hooking up with Dan Wise, followed by the shocking truth about her step-brother Theo Oscar. While things with Theo were good, it caused an adverse effect on hers with her boyfriend. Odds were high that their week long relationship would crumble after nights of fights, but apparently, Dan managed to clean himself and lift the rocks that had emerged into their union. Playful teasing and online chats seem to have done the trick.
With her relationship issues looking brighter, Sue could focus on the more important-studies. After her undulating results last semester, she wished for better lecturers. And she got them. At least for Accounts. Yes, the lecturer may be more au-fait than Miss Susie, but apparently her teaching style and attitude got under Sue's skin, which has now become an irritant. Be careful what you wish for.
Despite his ability to make girls go weak in their knees and their hearts to skip beats, John Bow preferred to fly solo and chill with his friends, avoiding the possibility of entangling himself with messy issues pertinent to relationships. Perhaps fate had other ideas for him as random meetings with a certain lady brought them closer.
For once, John felt that there could be something, his 'resume' on relationships no longer a complete blank. He did not wish for anything, yet it was delivered on his doorstep. But John should hold his horse. Word has it Miss Mysterious is already attached. Surely there's no such thing as a free gift in this fiercely competitive world.
After the dark holidays that had Nick Ivans completely transformed due to a string of mishaps, he had gallantly vowed never to immerse himself romantically with the opposite sex, preferring to stand on his own two feet first and let life guide him through tribulations and tests. After being guided through several "tags", it seemed his wish came true with no black strings attached- focusing on friends and the good memories they brought him. It certainly lifted his spirits and morale, eradicating the darkness that had been enveloping him of late. For his sake, hopefully there aren't any twists.
Wishes do come true, often manipulated and contorted. Sometimes, they don't at all. And that was the case for Sanya Dival. Having wished to focus on her studies this semester and to be independent sans boys, she was adamant in making them work. Unfortunately for her, both failed miserably. Two weeks into the semester and her efforts to study are strongly being crushed by multiple distractions, one of which being Hans Basil, the cause of her other failed wish. If she had thoughts of remaining single, she could have fooled anyone. The heat that emanated from Sanya and Hans at a friend's barbequeue was more than enough to burn the food.Hans Basil had made a bold decision in a bid to make a stand, and unknown to him, it backfired so spectacularly in a conglomeration of all past tragedies that he gained much more than he asked for and now cannot handle it. Boldly declaring to Nick one night of his intentions, due to the alien language, which he did stick to initially, it seems fate had played a very cruel trick on him which only made Hans look like the biggest fool with an equally big mouth. He made his own wish come true, but destiny added to it. And it seems his road to recovery has been temporary, with the latest setback now crushing his morale and plunging him back to the dark depths which he barely crawled out of just a few days ago.What happens to him next?
One ought to watch their tongue, for they never know when the words they speak can spring to life and haunt them in the most gruesome way they never thought possible.
*Reminder
Posts with a * are based on true occurences, but not everything is fact. Those that are indeed factual may be exaggarated to a certain extent. It is advisable to not believe everything and read the posts purely for fun, laughter, peace and joy. Seriously.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
*The Insiders
"The people you start hanging out with during the first few days and weeks of college will not necessarily be the people you hang out with throughout the rest of the collegiate semester. You only stick with them for a sense of belonging and security, because you are new in a foreign place, and don't want to feel alone. Once you become familiar with the place and make more friends, you start to hang around with people who are more of your kind."
Blood is thicker than water. This must have been what Sue Anne had in mind as she accepted Theo Oscar as her step-brother, pulverizing murmers of discomfort and uneasiness. The pair were seen fraternizing smoothly and were easy-going with each other, almost inseperable. The only downside? Her 4-day relationship with Dan Wise seems to have turned rocky, with petty squabbles and fights peppered between lunches and dinners. Rumour has it Dan's eyes had been roaming too often around college. Now that she has a blood bond by her side, will she kick Dan outside?
Loss is something no one ever wants to experience, no matter how big or small it may be. Sanya Dival nearly experienced it last week, with her handphone being the object of a would-be thief's affection. Lucky for her, best friend Angie Flo was there to save the day. If that was any indication of things to come, no one saw it.
Angie's carelessness and fallible nature had perpetually caused her problems, but the latest one to occur was perhaps the hardest, for she endured the agony of losing her handphone. With all the information stored inside, one knows it will take time to regain everything lost. A valuable lesson learnt. While Angie could play heroine for others, she couldn't save herself.
It was finally out. The worst kept secret in Sunway University College: The reunion of Hans Basil and Sanya Dival. It seemed their chemistry was too strong for others to attempt trying to alter it. Initially keeping their relationship on the low, they have now come out in full force. And what force- intense public displays of 'sexation', stemmed from nights of hot and heavy dreams. If there ever were such a thing as text sex, their phones would be steaming.
Transitions usually occur within several days and weeks, but for Nick Ivans, it seems the word transcends time. Fresh from being labelled a playboy after his stint as 'Goth Boy', Nick was in for a nasty surprise.
Fagging with Hans outside the hostel had become a nightly routine for them both. Immersed in their relaxing activity, Nick was singing his emotions, while Hans was ruminating the results of his attitude the last time he handed it to John, contemplating if it was worth it this time round. Nick and Hans' little bubble was soon invaded by three gentlemen, also on a fag break. Three strangers became acquaintances and perhaps took to it too fast. Nick engaged in a certain sensitive issue with one of them, leading to the latter slapping the former with the disparaging title of 'gay'. With his sexuality on the line, Nick made a desperate bid to plead his case. He only managed to exacerbate the situation. Whistling at a man whom he thought was a lady only served to compound his misery.
Insiders. People who are the core of a clique, mistakes and wrong-doing never an issue, their place and status cemented. But at times, these insiders take their position for granted. Sanya fell off her throne last semester, and managed to regain it. John endured a torrid time after his hair-cut last year, though his current style has garnered rave comments. Nick Ivans lost himself after several heartbreaks, but fought to redeem himself, even in the face of adversity. Sue may be on the verge of a messy break up, but she gained a brother. Hans probably suffered the most due to the intensity of his emotions, but he seemed to be dealt a lucky hand in English, given a topic he is well-versed in. History looks set to be repeated for him. Hopefully for his high marks, and not his embarrassing blunder. As for Angie, it seems she has finally managed to shake off the doubts regarding her sexuality and attraction towards the same sex, with rumours that shook Sunway now dead. But here, it is known nothing stays quiet for long. With whispers of a new person batting for the other team on the horizon, dissemination of this news is sure to rock Sunway University College to its core.
-This was mentioned by a Sunway College University lecturer during the first semester orientation last year. It may be true, but for Hans Basil and John Bow, they neglected to heed the lecturer's words.
Hans and John had met on the first day of semester 1 last year, and subsequently went through ups and downs together, strengthening their friendship in the process. While certain downs battered their friendship and threatened to rip it to shreds, ironically, it also aided in learning lessons for Hans to control his attitude and temper. And last night provided the first test.
A simple request by Hans was flatly turned down by John, a first, and resulted in the umpteenth fight between the duo. Hans stormed out and eased his mind via fagging with Nick Ivans. While "Emo Hans" would have prolonged the dishes of attitude, it seems the revitalised Hans brushed the incident off and cleared things up with John. And with an accidental incident sparking an inside joke between them, it seems they are on the road to recovery. One wonders if John's departure will hamper it.
Blood is thicker than water. This must have been what Sue Anne had in mind as she accepted Theo Oscar as her step-brother, pulverizing murmers of discomfort and uneasiness. The pair were seen fraternizing smoothly and were easy-going with each other, almost inseperable. The only downside? Her 4-day relationship with Dan Wise seems to have turned rocky, with petty squabbles and fights peppered between lunches and dinners. Rumour has it Dan's eyes had been roaming too often around college. Now that she has a blood bond by her side, will she kick Dan outside?Loss is something no one ever wants to experience, no matter how big or small it may be. Sanya Dival nearly experienced it last week, with her handphone being the object of a would-be thief's affection. Lucky for her, best friend Angie Flo was there to save the day. If that was any indication of things to come, no one saw it.
Angie's carelessness and fallible nature had perpetually caused her problems, but the latest one to occur was perhaps the hardest, for she endured the agony of losing her handphone. With all the information stored inside, one knows it will take time to regain everything lost. A valuable lesson learnt. While Angie could play heroine for others, she couldn't save herself.
It was finally out. The worst kept secret in Sunway University College: The reunion of Hans Basil and Sanya Dival. It seemed their chemistry was too strong for others to attempt trying to alter it. Initially keeping their relationship on the low, they have now come out in full force. And what force- intense public displays of 'sexation', stemmed from nights of hot and heavy dreams. If there ever were such a thing as text sex, their phones would be steaming.
Transitions usually occur within several days and weeks, but for Nick Ivans, it seems the word transcends time. Fresh from being labelled a playboy after his stint as 'Goth Boy', Nick was in for a nasty surprise.
Fagging with Hans outside the hostel had become a nightly routine for them both. Immersed in their relaxing activity, Nick was singing his emotions, while Hans was ruminating the results of his attitude the last time he handed it to John, contemplating if it was worth it this time round. Nick and Hans' little bubble was soon invaded by three gentlemen, also on a fag break. Three strangers became acquaintances and perhaps took to it too fast. Nick engaged in a certain sensitive issue with one of them, leading to the latter slapping the former with the disparaging title of 'gay'. With his sexuality on the line, Nick made a desperate bid to plead his case. He only managed to exacerbate the situation. Whistling at a man whom he thought was a lady only served to compound his misery.
Insiders. People who are the core of a clique, mistakes and wrong-doing never an issue, their place and status cemented. But at times, these insiders take their position for granted. Sanya fell off her throne last semester, and managed to regain it. John endured a torrid time after his hair-cut last year, though his current style has garnered rave comments. Nick Ivans lost himself after several heartbreaks, but fought to redeem himself, even in the face of adversity. Sue may be on the verge of a messy break up, but she gained a brother. Hans probably suffered the most due to the intensity of his emotions, but he seemed to be dealt a lucky hand in English, given a topic he is well-versed in. History looks set to be repeated for him. Hopefully for his high marks, and not his embarrassing blunder. As for Angie, it seems she has finally managed to shake off the doubts regarding her sexuality and attraction towards the same sex, with rumours that shook Sunway now dead. But here, it is known nothing stays quiet for long. With whispers of a new person batting for the other team on the horizon, dissemination of this news is sure to rock Sunway University College to its core.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
*The Little Miss Independent
Independence. The state of not depending on another for anything, relying solely on oneself. This had served Sue Anne in good stead throughout most of her life, eliminating possibilities of sudden shortages of helplines or assistance. Of late however, she had let down her tight guard amidst news of her sudden union with Dan Wise. And as if to coincide with her letdown, she discovered a shocking truth that she never knew existed.
Theo Oscar
Theo Oscar, one to take after Hans Basil's lame antics, had been good friends with Hans and John Bow last semester, and became acquainted with Sue via Hans. He was also one of the many guys who had been romantically linked to her. As luck would have it, nothing materialised between them, sparing them the agony and subsequent incestual tag seeing the blood link they discovered they shared.
As if late night fights with boyfriend Dan Wise weren't bothering Sue's suddenly fragile mind, she received a bombshell late in the day- college friend Theo Oscar was more than a just a friend. In fact, he was her step-brother. While both had been close peers in college, their sudden thrust into a deeper relationship would surely cause some disturbance and unnerve them. How would either take the shocking truth? Can Little Miss Independent Sue accept the fact and accept her brother? Or will she discard the blood ties in similar fashion to ditching her boyfriend at dinner?
Enveloped with relationship problems, Sue, together with Angie Flo and Hans, escaped college into the vast darkness of a movie theatre, allowing their respective minds to ease and relax. Unknown to Hans and Sue, Angie was also encountering problems pertaining to matters of the heart, a first for her. Angie had never been taken for a joy ride, but of late, her heart had been on a roller-coaster. She felt strongly for someone who's reputation as a notorious playboy preceded him. Though his intentions were fake, her heart's emotions weren't. Forever the lampost, Angie had now been stirred into the relationship cauldron. Will her heart's wishes be granted, or will self-independence be her rule of life?
Faster than Hans Basil could be tagged "Something Boy", Nick Ivans became the second person to betray his personal mantra. His efforts to shove thoughts of relationships aside lasted all of one day, as he set his sights on another, and seem to be making remarkable progress with this mystery person. After a string of heartbreak and failure, one wonders if the 17 year old is making a bright move with the huge risks involved. And one wonders too, if Nick Ivans had usurped Hans Basil as 'Playboy'.
Is it possible that fate actually determines the destiny of certain individuals? That all the signs, from the obvious to the plain bizarre, point to the unlikely union of two people, no matter how weird circumstances may be, though society at large is still undecided about the pertinent sensitive issue? For two certain Sunway residents, it just might.
Monday, January 12, 2009
*The Betrayal
Holidays have ended for over a week, but the repercussions of the occurences during that period still remain, affecting several individuals. While boredom has been eradicated as the main theme, it has been conquered by another- betrayal. Traitors were usually killed under certain practices, but in the conniving modern world of today, punishment was usually handed out discreetly and in subtle fashion.
Petulant back-stabbing and bitching had been the topic of Hans' life before his advent in Sunway, and he had not expected it to come alive again. Unfortunately for him, it did, albeit during the holidays. Close friend John Bow had been mercilessly mind-tricked by a cunning 'friend' of his and Hans' to shift his accomodation location, a move which triggered an initial eruption of shock and rage within Hans that threatened to derail his progress to not only stabilise his mess of a life but his friendship with his roommate as well. With the initially nebulous idea now a hard fact, time will tell if Hans can brush off the inevitable or if he will struggle to accept the cold fact.
Nick Ivans was perhaps the one single individual who went through the most transitions during the holidays, going from 'Joker' to 'Lovesick' to 'Emo/Goth' and now, self-proclaimed Mr Happy-Go-Lucky without a worry to his name. Suffering a second phase of heartbreak after his inital getting over Sanya, he promised to himself that he would no longer get enmeshed in all that, declaring that his mantra "bros before hos" was now "bros never hos", and that he would stick by it vehemently. Unknown to him, someone had betrayed it. Now that three magical words with eight letters had been mentioned, would it lead to a chain reaction that would witness the mental obliteration of a certain individual, or would it merely be what they were in the first place, just words?
What is worse than being betrayed by another is perhaps being betrayed by oneself. Sanya Dival and Angie Flo made the bold decision of leaving last semester's antics behind and look for a fresh start in their pursuit of academic excellence. Leave the slacking and start the studying, they willed. Unfortunately, they caught Hans' 'Plan-Failing' bug, as one week into the new term, and they had already rehashed Semester 1. Hopefully neither make the same mistakes of last year and realise the importance of their plan, before it's too late.
Living in solitude without male dependence had been Sue Anne's personal motto for years. Unluckily for her, the hot-headed boys of Sunway University College had not heard of it, and did not heed her defensive attitude. While rumours circulated last year about certain flings with Hans and Dan Wise, the proverbial college hunk, this time though, rumours were fact, substantiated by witnesses and evidence. It seems Dan Wise had finally managed to court and land the ever-protected Sue, their late meals and exercise routines giving a cause for tongues to wag. Their apparent distant and nonchalant attitude in college may put off many, but not all. Will snagging Sunway's 'Hunk' elevate her status in college?
Ten days into the new term, and already, lies and secrets have emerged, threatening to wreak havoc if discovered. Though new secrets exist, it is the old one that Hans Basil is most fearful of, for if ever ressurected and brought to light, his social existence would be shoved into the dark. Can Sanya and Angie get their act together? Will Nick Ivans' new-look attitude be one of delusion? Personal strength of mind and character play a huge part in answering these questions, and hopefully none betrays themself, or another. As for Sue, it seems her life is destined to be a whirlwind as she has to accept a shocking truth she never knew at all.
Petulant back-stabbing and bitching had been the topic of Hans' life before his advent in Sunway, and he had not expected it to come alive again. Unfortunately for him, it did, albeit during the holidays. Close friend John Bow had been mercilessly mind-tricked by a cunning 'friend' of his and Hans' to shift his accomodation location, a move which triggered an initial eruption of shock and rage within Hans that threatened to derail his progress to not only stabilise his mess of a life but his friendship with his roommate as well. With the initially nebulous idea now a hard fact, time will tell if Hans can brush off the inevitable or if he will struggle to accept the cold fact.
Nick Ivans was perhaps the one single individual who went through the most transitions during the holidays, going from 'Joker' to 'Lovesick' to 'Emo/Goth' and now, self-proclaimed Mr Happy-Go-Lucky without a worry to his name. Suffering a second phase of heartbreak after his inital getting over Sanya, he promised to himself that he would no longer get enmeshed in all that, declaring that his mantra "bros before hos" was now "bros never hos", and that he would stick by it vehemently. Unknown to him, someone had betrayed it. Now that three magical words with eight letters had been mentioned, would it lead to a chain reaction that would witness the mental obliteration of a certain individual, or would it merely be what they were in the first place, just words?
What is worse than being betrayed by another is perhaps being betrayed by oneself. Sanya Dival and Angie Flo made the bold decision of leaving last semester's antics behind and look for a fresh start in their pursuit of academic excellence. Leave the slacking and start the studying, they willed. Unfortunately, they caught Hans' 'Plan-Failing' bug, as one week into the new term, and they had already rehashed Semester 1. Hopefully neither make the same mistakes of last year and realise the importance of their plan, before it's too late.
Living in solitude without male dependence had been Sue Anne's personal motto for years. Unluckily for her, the hot-headed boys of Sunway University College had not heard of it, and did not heed her defensive attitude. While rumours circulated last year about certain flings with Hans and Dan Wise, the proverbial college hunk, this time though, rumours were fact, substantiated by witnesses and evidence. It seems Dan Wise had finally managed to court and land the ever-protected Sue, their late meals and exercise routines giving a cause for tongues to wag. Their apparent distant and nonchalant attitude in college may put off many, but not all. Will snagging Sunway's 'Hunk' elevate her status in college?
Ten days into the new term, and already, lies and secrets have emerged, threatening to wreak havoc if discovered. Though new secrets exist, it is the old one that Hans Basil is most fearful of, for if ever ressurected and brought to light, his social existence would be shoved into the dark. Can Sanya and Angie get their act together? Will Nick Ivans' new-look attitude be one of delusion? Personal strength of mind and character play a huge part in answering these questions, and hopefully none betrays themself, or another. As for Sue, it seems her life is destined to be a whirlwind as she has to accept a shocking truth she never knew at all.
*The Old Start
Hans Basil
John Bow
Sue Anne
Sanya Dival
Angie Flo
Nick Ivans
====================================================================
====================================================================7 weeks. 49 days. The 1176 hours spent away from the clutches of Sunway University College and its apropos now draws to a close, as the dawn of a new semester approaches. Realization descends upon all students that holidays are never permanent, and for some, not enjoyable.
The anomalies of holidays. Boredom dominated the break, with not one of Sunway's mixed having a 'decent' holiday. Vacations were strewn sporadically during the weeks, but boredom was still the name of the day. For others, it was socializing with their thoughts and silence. But none of these could match the headline of the hols, and that was Nick Ivans' & Sanya Dival's shocking Holiday Hook-Up. With Sanya's romantic ties with Hans Basil six feet underground and Dash Reagan's hopes for a relationship squashed due to the latter's philandering ways, Nick Ivans insidiously popped into the picture amidst realizing he carried a torch for Sunway's queen. The move destroyed Hans' remaining sanity as he withdrew into his dark shell where he turned reclusive and darker. While Nick and Sanya escaped for romantic getaways, Hans remained in his home-turned-hell contemplating his future.
Sue Anne and Angie Flo had no romantic plots planned during the holidays, and instead enjoyed 'vacations' with their respective families and friends. While the trips were a breath of fresh air considering the gloom that had enveloped the holidays, it did little to lift the overall mood, merely masking it. For the duo however, the theme of the hols did not seem to affect them as badly as some others. They should be aware that bad luck does not befall all at once. For John Bow, the holidays were perhaps the most mundane for him, with not a shred of significance. Probably the most interesting event for him was his sister's wedding.
Once the dust had settled after the vicious fight that occured last year, all hope seemed lost for a reconciliation between John and Hans. It seemed there was a ray of light smothered within the dark holidays though, as a series of intermittent text and online messages seemed to have salvaged their tattered friendship. Whether the new semester strengthens their bond or smashes it to smithereens remains to be seen.
With few days left before a new chapter opens, Nick Ivans had seen himself tread the same path as his good buddy Hans Basil, that is the path to darkness. His was more literal though, as his short-lived romance with Sanya resulted in him turning to the Goth side and experimenting with the never obsolete 'black'. It begs the question though: Does Sanya Dival destroy the lives she touches?
Semester 2 promises the potential for explosive situations and unpalatable impasse as each individual struggle to accept the impending hetic studious lifestyle and the reality of having to face each other after weeks of intertwining relationships and resulting repercussions. Having made his decision to continue, will it be one Hans Basil regrets? Is he even prepared for it given the troubles he's enmeshed in? Will Nick and Sanya think with their heads, or let their hearts' wishes prevail. Guess the answers will arrive soon. For now, the only thing that can be confirmed is the uncertainty of it all.
*Reminder
Following posts are based on true occurences, but not everything should be regarded as truth. Though the fiction is minimal
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Mind Trick
For the second night in a row i had a dream. again abt a friend. this time it was worse. he died. and dreams don make sense. i know this. cos he was killed by a ghost. the dream was fast paced and took place in so many locations (sounds like a james bond movie). its still stuck in my mind, tho i cant rmb everything exactly. i dun even know how it started.
basically there was this demonic ghost/creature that existed and terrorized ppl-killing them and stuff. looked sth like the Death Note thing. all of us (my current crop of guy frens here in sunway) were in some apartment or sth just chillin. in the dream we all knew this creature existed. X (i dun feel like naming the fren who died) was standing near the window. suddenly the demon appeared,cackled and pulled him out. X started screaming and after that they both disappeared. we all freaked and looked ard, realizing the whole city (cant rmb where we were) had been destroyed and thr were alot of dead ppl. X couldn be found. All of us jus started crying. then there were some scenes of a train, policemen and stuff. and in the dream i rmb me tellin myself it was a dream and tryin to wake up from it. X's death affected us really badly and i was tryin to make it go away by 'waking up'. but it din work. and i can so bloody feel my emotions in the dream. no guesses for the sheer relief wen i actually woke up in the afternoon and realised the whole thing was a dream.
Second weird dream in a row. i hope i don get a third. don tink i can take it. first was weird, second was intense. maybe sth's gonna happen to my frens. i don know. weird things have been happening of late.
basically there was this demonic ghost/creature that existed and terrorized ppl-killing them and stuff. looked sth like the Death Note thing. all of us (my current crop of guy frens here in sunway) were in some apartment or sth just chillin. in the dream we all knew this creature existed. X (i dun feel like naming the fren who died) was standing near the window. suddenly the demon appeared,cackled and pulled him out. X started screaming and after that they both disappeared. we all freaked and looked ard, realizing the whole city (cant rmb where we were) had been destroyed and thr were alot of dead ppl. X couldn be found. All of us jus started crying. then there were some scenes of a train, policemen and stuff. and in the dream i rmb me tellin myself it was a dream and tryin to wake up from it. X's death affected us really badly and i was tryin to make it go away by 'waking up'. but it din work. and i can so bloody feel my emotions in the dream. no guesses for the sheer relief wen i actually woke up in the afternoon and realised the whole thing was a dream.
Second weird dream in a row. i hope i don get a third. don tink i can take it. first was weird, second was intense. maybe sth's gonna happen to my frens. i don know. weird things have been happening of late.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Live Your Life
8 Jan 2009- 11pm+
Was watchin vids on me lappie when Nick crashed my room. he and jb then started causing a ruckus like a bunch of retarded monkeys. had no idea wad the fuck they were laughing and chinese-speaking about but i cldn care less cos they were makin it impossible for me to watch my vids. i was gettin pissed. and i showed a hint of my displeasure to nick by askin him to shut up and stuff. din work. dragged on and it boiled my blood. cldn go on. and i had no idea wad took over. i went over to nick, punched him straight in his face and slammed jb's lappie shut b4 sliding it onto the floor. silence. both looked at me shocked b4 curses were strewn. Nick went over to my table and slammed my lappie onto the floor. i got more angry and just messed up jb's table and it resulted in a petulant war between the three of us. i was damn shocked cos id never done sth like this. and the other 2 definitely din expect it. we actually came to blows. physical blows. wtf. halfway thru the melee, i suddenly heard T.I. and Rihanna's "Live Your Life" playing, really softly. Then it got louder but i cldn place the source. it then got really loud and i realised it was my phone alarm. I got up. it was 9:45am. wth. felt so real. hope itll never happen.
Was watchin vids on me lappie when Nick crashed my room. he and jb then started causing a ruckus like a bunch of retarded monkeys. had no idea wad the fuck they were laughing and chinese-speaking about but i cldn care less cos they were makin it impossible for me to watch my vids. i was gettin pissed. and i showed a hint of my displeasure to nick by askin him to shut up and stuff. din work. dragged on and it boiled my blood. cldn go on. and i had no idea wad took over. i went over to nick, punched him straight in his face and slammed jb's lappie shut b4 sliding it onto the floor. silence. both looked at me shocked b4 curses were strewn. Nick went over to my table and slammed my lappie onto the floor. i got more angry and just messed up jb's table and it resulted in a petulant war between the three of us. i was damn shocked cos id never done sth like this. and the other 2 definitely din expect it. we actually came to blows. physical blows. wtf. halfway thru the melee, i suddenly heard T.I. and Rihanna's "Live Your Life" playing, really softly. Then it got louder but i cldn place the source. it then got really loud and i realised it was my phone alarm. I got up. it was 9:45am. wth. felt so real. hope itll never happen.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Past N Present
Excerpts from my old blog...
"i feel so evil for constantly thinkin abt the shit im going thru i forget other pl exist..crap....im going to start caring for ppl and not make fun of em...starting next year when im older and wiser...now i can only hold so much in my teeny brain...ok im talking too much crap....ok im gonna end my post here cos i dono wad else to say...i jus hope accounts will be good to me jus like how ive been good to it... ok shut up ready la"
=August 13, 2008, at 3:56 pm
New Year. Same shit. Still cant care for ppl cos i cant even take care of myself. and yet things are worse now. and it jus made me realise that im still stuck in shit. even after months... well at least accounts seem to be better this time, helped by the teacher. shes nice and funny, whatsoever.
"whoever said tht college life is the most fun phase of a person's life shd be shot...unless he's already dead..college life has been really crappy so far and i feel like an alien tryin to blend in with humans.."
=August 6, 2008, at 11:57 pm
Seems like nothins changed lol...
"lately my mind has been a constant blank...with only ONE thing in/on it... which is the thing tt i mentioned earlier abt the good thing tt may change my life if it happens...see..even studies have no place in my lame pathetic brain...whos does?ive no idea why all my posts are song titles...ive no idea why im blogging so randomly...and ive no idea why im alwaes too nice to ppl...is it really worth it to be nice to ppl? okayy now im bordering on emo-ness.."
=August 22, 2008, at 10:16 pm
Wow...my life really doesnt seem to change at all...
"i feel so evil for constantly thinkin abt the shit im going thru i forget other pl exist..crap....im going to start caring for ppl and not make fun of em...starting next year when im older and wiser...now i can only hold so much in my teeny brain...ok im talking too much crap....ok im gonna end my post here cos i dono wad else to say...i jus hope accounts will be good to me jus like how ive been good to it... ok shut up ready la"
=August 13, 2008, at 3:56 pm
New Year. Same shit. Still cant care for ppl cos i cant even take care of myself. and yet things are worse now. and it jus made me realise that im still stuck in shit. even after months... well at least accounts seem to be better this time, helped by the teacher. shes nice and funny, whatsoever.
"whoever said tht college life is the most fun phase of a person's life shd be shot...unless he's already dead..college life has been really crappy so far and i feel like an alien tryin to blend in with humans.."
=August 6, 2008, at 11:57 pm
Seems like nothins changed lol...
"lately my mind has been a constant blank...with only ONE thing in/on it... which is the thing tt i mentioned earlier abt the good thing tt may change my life if it happens...see..even studies have no place in my lame pathetic brain...whos does?ive no idea why all my posts are song titles...ive no idea why im blogging so randomly...and ive no idea why im alwaes too nice to ppl...is it really worth it to be nice to ppl? okayy now im bordering on emo-ness.."
=August 22, 2008, at 10:16 pm
Wow...my life really doesnt seem to change at all...
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Why
Just one simple question. Why?
I met You.
I liked You.
I RARELY say this, but i loved YOU.
Then I lost You.
I loved You again.
And I lost You again.
I loved You yet again.
This time circumstances couldn't permit my love to last.
I was given a heart.
You turned it Black
I was given a mind.
You filled it with nothing but Death
I was given feelings
You turned them Emo
I was given 5 senses
You rendered them Useless
Do You feel immense pleasure at seeing me fall at every turn?
Why? Just who are You in the first place?
I met You.
I liked You.
I RARELY say this, but i loved YOU.
Then I lost You.
I loved You again.
And I lost You again.
I loved You yet again.
This time circumstances couldn't permit my love to last.
I was given a heart.
You turned it Black
I was given a mind.
You filled it with nothing but Death
I was given feelings
You turned them Emo
I was given 5 senses
You rendered them Useless
Do You feel immense pleasure at seeing me fall at every turn?
Why? Just who are You in the first place?
Monday, January 5, 2009
Blind
Deluded! Decieved! Blindsided!
Son of a Fuckin Bitch. The ultimate price paid for kindness. Yet another load of crap on my shoulders. This aint gonna go on no more. Rendered my decision useless. I'll end it. Either by being a fucker myself for 6 months, or put myself out of my misery. permanently. First two attempts failed to materialise. Third one will come soon. Third time's the charm. Once it happens, you'll NEVER be at peace, motherfuckin nabe cb. vulgarities cant even express my rage. Gotta drag myself for 3 weeks b4 the break. Thats if i can even make it thru the 3 weeks. Biggest decision to make. once it's made and done, wont have to worry bout anythin else. ever. awesome. Third time's the charm. Watch out bitch. kimak.
Son of a Fuckin Bitch. The ultimate price paid for kindness. Yet another load of crap on my shoulders. This aint gonna go on no more. Rendered my decision useless. I'll end it. Either by being a fucker myself for 6 months, or put myself out of my misery. permanently. First two attempts failed to materialise. Third one will come soon. Third time's the charm. Once it happens, you'll NEVER be at peace, motherfuckin nabe cb. vulgarities cant even express my rage. Gotta drag myself for 3 weeks b4 the break. Thats if i can even make it thru the 3 weeks. Biggest decision to make. once it's made and done, wont have to worry bout anythin else. ever. awesome. Third time's the charm. Watch out bitch. kimak.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Doom & Gloom
I hate this part right here...totally. completely. definitely. not one good thing has happened since my arrival back in this goddamn place. everything is so damn messed up and more than ever i know it was a huge mistake comin back. feel myself on the verge of complete insanity. definitely the worst period of my life ive ever known. not gonna pinpoint anyone, tho i cld. im just way in too deep the craphole tt i can no longer dig myself out. gonna get buried by it all. it seems theres only ONE way out. contemplated it first time in sem 1. din work out. twice durin hols. no opportunity. nows the third. third time's the charm eh? we'll see.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I M WAT??!!
Just read Nick's blog and posted a comment. Then the word verifyer thing came on. And i jus stared at it like it was a joke. in all its swirlyness and blue colour were the letters "YOUARGAY". Cmon u fuckin serious? wth.
I Hate This (Damn Fucking) Part
No no no no no no noooooooo.......so close yet so far..slowly gettin it and then all pulled away in an instant. and this time i cannot fault anyone other than my own stupid self. somehow or other i changed my com management password from its default one (even tt i din know wat it was). now im doomed.
stupid com had been infected by that stupid msn virus for a week now i tink. and my com is able to reformat itself so tt saved a trip to a com shop. after followin instruction given by me bro i was just one click from reformatting the damn shit. then a password window popped up. i texted me bro he said oh use the default pw which he gave. din work. then i rmb durin the hols back in sem 1, one nite wen i was fiddling with my com i decided to change the mgmt pw. and now i cant rmb it. been tryin so many things and i still cant get it. even with the hint. this sux. net and firefox had been destroyed by the virus and my msn and music files had been affected too. i just hope the damn shit don affect more stuff from this equally shit com. this is just another sign y i shd not go back to the equally if not shittier Sunway. cant bliv by next week ill be in college and studying again. im prolly gonna forget abt studying so hard and give more reason for my parents to disparage me. oh wait don tink JB will allow tt. he'll prolly force me to study. or not.
God, I'm begging u very nicely indeed. Overlooking all my past, present and future sins and mistakes that i had/have/will commit, pls pls pls let me rmb my shit password so i can reformat the damn thing b4 the fuck virus completely obliterates my laptop. Thk u. er amen? ok wait i hope tt wasnt a prayer cos i jus said ok nvm..pls God...Yr the only one tt can help me now. I'm sure U can read this. thx. Gd nite and Happy New Year. Oh hope the financial tide can be turned too. ok tts too much. sigh. So much for New Years.
stupid com had been infected by that stupid msn virus for a week now i tink. and my com is able to reformat itself so tt saved a trip to a com shop. after followin instruction given by me bro i was just one click from reformatting the damn shit. then a password window popped up. i texted me bro he said oh use the default pw which he gave. din work. then i rmb durin the hols back in sem 1, one nite wen i was fiddling with my com i decided to change the mgmt pw. and now i cant rmb it. been tryin so many things and i still cant get it. even with the hint. this sux. net and firefox had been destroyed by the virus and my msn and music files had been affected too. i just hope the damn shit don affect more stuff from this equally shit com. this is just another sign y i shd not go back to the equally if not shittier Sunway. cant bliv by next week ill be in college and studying again. im prolly gonna forget abt studying so hard and give more reason for my parents to disparage me. oh wait don tink JB will allow tt. he'll prolly force me to study. or not.
God, I'm begging u very nicely indeed. Overlooking all my past, present and future sins and mistakes that i had/have/will commit, pls pls pls let me rmb my shit password so i can reformat the damn thing b4 the fuck virus completely obliterates my laptop. Thk u. er amen? ok wait i hope tt wasnt a prayer cos i jus said ok nvm..pls God...Yr the only one tt can help me now. I'm sure U can read this. thx. Gd nite and Happy New Year. Oh hope the financial tide can be turned too. ok tts too much. sigh. So much for New Years.
New Year, Same Probs
So 2009 has finally descended upon us. ok. movin on... what u expected some boisterous words with joyous emoticons and all tt? i really dun get all the kerfuffle abt a new year. its still a year, and its just another day. call me weird but new year means nothin to me. ppl party and club but y? its jus another day aint it? wads the whole point of a mega celebration (when the next day goes back to "normal" mode), with ppl plotting new year resolutions (which they will never achieve) and acting as if some divine intervention had just occured. Get a grip dudes and babes. New Year only signals the advent of the end of the past. (u may not get this). We get a yr older. So stop revelling in parties silly and be a tad more introspective.
As usual Singapore's over-hyped Countdown party at the Marina Bay Floating Platform was, well, over-hyped. It was still lame. As lame as last year's. There's no point belting out the latest pop songs when u bloody well cant hold a tune/note or even pronounce words properly. Not saying I can sing, but i aint the one up there makin a fool of myself. At least the fireworks were impressive and worth watching.
New Year's Eve's Eve (Tuesday):
Stayed home playin PS2. Dinie came ard 4. Chatted abt all our ongoing probs and family issues till abt 7. Pretty glad im gettin more involved with him.
Finally ended the whole issue about my future. Staying?Going? Well, honestly I pretty much gave up on life, as my last post would have indicated. So I couldnt give a damn no more abt what happens to me in the future. So, I decided to continue Sem 2. Tho I hate that fucked God-forsaken shithole place to the core. A little bird kinda fuelled that decision, his forages into emoness getting under my own emo skin. Got me thinkin whole nite. Then there was my roommate. And another. And another. So all in all I just had to go back. Sigh.
New Year's Eve:
Finally met Kevin, Darius and JT. With Rjv of course. Was so bloody tired cos i had been playing with my thoughts till 5 am and woke up so early. Honestly thot today was gonna suck. But it defied my expectations, thankfully. It was such a blast and tho we all had not met in ages it felt like we'd been around each other daily and had not left. Felt just like secondary school, crap and lameness all intact. Today also happened to be "Bump-into-ex-schoolmates" Day. Ran into Desmond at Orchard, met some guy from school while jostling with the bloody crowd and later met Rjv's make-up wearing dude fren. Woah. The whole day couldnt have gone better. Actually it could have. Somewhere during lunch my pain acted up again and i forgot to bring my meds. Tried brushin it off but it refused to. Had to bear with it all the way where my energy seemed to be sapped and i jus felt tired, tho i was still pretty much happy. It was so weird. To top it off there was sucha bad human jam for the buses heading to JB. Some bloody prick jabbed me right at my wound while shoving to get into the bus. Fuckin shithead. Hope he gets dengue on New Years, suffer all the way till his birthday and jus die. Miserable scumbag.
New Years Day:
Almost an hour into 2009. Still feels the same. Duh. (Refer to first paragraph). First song played was "Gives You Hell" by All-American Rejects. Not a very appropriate song. Who cares. Parents are out. Wow. Prolly dining with that Russian Dictator and her Soviet husband. Never knew they had New Yr plans. Their lives are definitely more happening. who cares. Thinkin abt my grandma makes me know I shd, but its just so bloody hard given current circumstances. Just what the heck shd I do. Crap just realised my nose had been bleeding this whole time and now my boxers and shirt are stained. Wow. so much blood. and i din even know. the blood looks kinda cool. and now it looks as if i pissed blood in my boxers.
As usual Singapore's over-hyped Countdown party at the Marina Bay Floating Platform was, well, over-hyped. It was still lame. As lame as last year's. There's no point belting out the latest pop songs when u bloody well cant hold a tune/note or even pronounce words properly. Not saying I can sing, but i aint the one up there makin a fool of myself. At least the fireworks were impressive and worth watching.
New Year's Eve's Eve (Tuesday):
Stayed home playin PS2. Dinie came ard 4. Chatted abt all our ongoing probs and family issues till abt 7. Pretty glad im gettin more involved with him.
Finally ended the whole issue about my future. Staying?Going? Well, honestly I pretty much gave up on life, as my last post would have indicated. So I couldnt give a damn no more abt what happens to me in the future. So, I decided to continue Sem 2. Tho I hate that fucked God-forsaken shithole place to the core. A little bird kinda fuelled that decision, his forages into emoness getting under my own emo skin. Got me thinkin whole nite. Then there was my roommate. And another. And another. So all in all I just had to go back. Sigh.
New Year's Eve:
Finally met Kevin, Darius and JT. With Rjv of course. Was so bloody tired cos i had been playing with my thoughts till 5 am and woke up so early. Honestly thot today was gonna suck. But it defied my expectations, thankfully. It was such a blast and tho we all had not met in ages it felt like we'd been around each other daily and had not left. Felt just like secondary school, crap and lameness all intact. Today also happened to be "Bump-into-ex-schoolmates" Day. Ran into Desmond at Orchard, met some guy from school while jostling with the bloody crowd and later met Rjv's make-up wearing dude fren. Woah. The whole day couldnt have gone better. Actually it could have. Somewhere during lunch my pain acted up again and i forgot to bring my meds. Tried brushin it off but it refused to. Had to bear with it all the way where my energy seemed to be sapped and i jus felt tired, tho i was still pretty much happy. It was so weird. To top it off there was sucha bad human jam for the buses heading to JB. Some bloody prick jabbed me right at my wound while shoving to get into the bus. Fuckin shithead. Hope he gets dengue on New Years, suffer all the way till his birthday and jus die. Miserable scumbag.
New Years Day:
Almost an hour into 2009. Still feels the same. Duh. (Refer to first paragraph). First song played was "Gives You Hell" by All-American Rejects. Not a very appropriate song. Who cares. Parents are out. Wow. Prolly dining with that Russian Dictator and her Soviet husband. Never knew they had New Yr plans. Their lives are definitely more happening. who cares. Thinkin abt my grandma makes me know I shd, but its just so bloody hard given current circumstances. Just what the heck shd I do. Crap just realised my nose had been bleeding this whole time and now my boxers and shirt are stained. Wow. so much blood. and i din even know. the blood looks kinda cool. and now it looks as if i pissed blood in my boxers.
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